Where is my walking stick?

Day 6

(Only day six! It feels like forever! For ever, and ever, and possibly more evers than that... all the evers, shiny and new and packed in little brown boxes ready to be dispatched with haste and precision. 'Hold on!' calls the box-checker on duty ((he's very tired and fighting with his wife over how much tomato sauce really need to be on sausage rolls (((he's voting for as much sauce as edibly possible))), 'This is ALL the Evers!'

'Yessir!' another worker (this one small and balding although only twenty-four, and trying hard not to think about the new pair of brown boots he's going to be purchasing this afternoon when his shift finishes) squeaks from the back room. He bustles in and stands with his hands behind his straight back. 'That's the order, sir! All the Evers there ever is, to go straight to Santurbry Way, this lunchtime!'

'But that's absurd!' exclaims the box-checker. 'Who could want this many Evers? What about all the other customers?'

'Oh, well...' the balding worker's brilliant smile vanishes quickly as he thinks this through.

'Won't they need their Ever orders delivered, too?' he continues condescendingly.

'Oh, I-'

'Are you going to deny already-paying customers their right to our products? And deny us our profits as a business? Are you?'

'Well, no...'

'Exactly. Now go and fix it. Only fourteen allowed per year, company policy, and if-'

'But they're already packed, sir!' the balding worker cries with panic, secretly thinking about his after work adventure.

The box-checker waves his hands, the clip-board slipping dangerously in his sweaty fat fingers, 'Then you un-pack them!')

This No Spend month is seeing me be misunderstood in all the ways.

I say to Nanna at 6.30pm: 'So a friend and I are doing a 'no spend month' ... etc etc... lists rules of no spend..... etc etc... so we only buy the essential grocery because the aim is to live on what we need for basic nutrition without wasting money on junk foods like chips and cakes and packaged foods and all that.'

Nanna responds with: 'Oh but a treat once in a while is alright, you must treat yourself, you must.'

'Nope, not allowed.'

~Then coffee happens and she asks me how I take it.

I reply with the good old-fashioned: 'Oh any which way is fine, but no sugar and only half a teaspoon of coffee please.'

'Only half!'

'Yeah, time is getting on and I don't want to have coffee too late.'

Tips in coffee. Pours water. 'Oh, that looks revolting, look here.'

I say, 'Does it?' only half-halfheartedly interested because I'm doing the dishes and who cares what coffee looks like as long as it's fresh and hot. 

'Oh, you really are depriving yourself aren't you?' Gives me a look of pure and utter concern, the kind generally reserved for right before committing someone to Glenside.

I say, 'Nanna! I'm allowed normal amounts of coffee! I'm just going to bed soon!'

And I laugh and laugh, but the vibe is now out there, and it's a vibe of Nannerly protection wrapped around quiet misunderstanding and high doses of 'here she goes again'.

Keeping in theme with my no spending month, today I have once again gone out and purchased an item.

Yes!

How very fitting! 

I feel like someone will soon come up to me and shake me. 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO DISGUISE YOUR NO SPEND MONTH WITH ACTUAL SPENDING!' they will shout way too loud, way too close, with the necessary flying spit and overlong eye contact. 'JUST STAY AT HOME LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!'

Well, cheers for that. I've always wanted to see more of how many teeth strangers are missing.

But it is true, I did spend, and perhaps it's because I'm so focused on not spending that the universe is providing all these ways for me to spend as a personal jinx- or it could just be that I'm not very organised, I don't know, I'm not a keen spectator at my life with flag and face paint.

However, to be fair it was once again for the Womanly Way.

Damn that Womanly and her Way. 

So my allowance today has gone down to 4 - 2.40 (WW) = 1.60.

Well!

Hello loaf of bread that costs 1.50 and is actually made out of bit of sandpaper, glue and pumped air.

T_T

 

The good news is that I get paid tomorrow! This means I can buy that amazing bread above sometime between tomorrow and the 14th of this month and finally be able to eat toast for breakfast instead of reheated soup and bananas!

Life is looking up!

Songs today:

Any and all by Amanda Palmer.