FIRSTLY
We have an infestation of mice.
Hello, it has been a while.
And in that while we have gathered mice.
IT IS SAFE TO SAY that I am appalled and therefore spend most of my days cleaning, setting traps, and chatting on the local hotline about the ridiculous prices of stripey socks.
SECONDLY
For some reason, neighbourhood cats have taken to raiding our rubbish bin. We think they're either a loved up couple rummaging for food while out on dates, or two best buddies living their best life.
THIRDLY
Every day there is a pair of pigeons that sit atop our back fence, huddled together in a very intimate way. One time they were sitting very far apart as if cooling off after an argument. I was dismayed. Birds live such short lives that any arguing should be put aside upon immediate realisation, TO LEAVE ROOM FOR MORE CANOODLING GUYS. YOU MUST KEEP THE SPARK.
However, as I watched, they both edged closer together in a very awkward and aloof way until they settled right next to each other again. Neither of them acknowledged the other for the longest time, just kept fluffing their feathers or looking around. I realised I was on the edge of my couch seat. The ice in my tea had melted. My stomach grumbled.. had I really not eaten for three hours?
Finally, after the sixth dose of eye drop solution to keep my eyeballs from drying out in their sockets, the two pigeons pecked beaks and huddled up again, and I could get up to empty my pee bucket.
This is literally not the biggest news in my life right now, but it certainly takes up the most time.
Other things include:
~ Reaching for the tissues at the same times as my pet dragon
~ Burning the tips of my fingers a little for a few consecutive days (unrelated)
~ Driving and braking a little later than I would have normally
~ Trying really hard multiple times to adjust the work chair to a lower setting, only to have it rise higher and higher each time
~ Admiring a pinkish-red top at a store, thinking seriously about buying it, then noticing I was in the 'teenage girls' section
~ Ordering a coffee and the girl putting marshmallows on top so they melt and somehow make the coffee go from --ordinary marshmallows-- to *MARSHMALLOWS WHAT THE FREAKIN WHAT* Was there even coffee in there? I cannot say. But I can say that I transformed that day, into a massive animated love heart, and it was a severe shock to wake up the day after and see my normal human reflection
~ A hard craving for donuts, and a lesser craving for strawberry milk
~ Going down to the pier to throw some shells back into the sea and being told by a grumpy old man that 'it ain't wise because the merpeople are coming'
~ Selling a bucket of shells to an elderly man with a knee-length beard and only two teeth (related)
~Taking blood from a woman and ONCE AGAIN having to say 'I'm sorry but our company cannot test your blood, one- because it is purple, and two- you are clearly not human. Please go to a pathology clinic that deals with your people'
... I see the angels, and lead them to your door...
