Tasco and Tabosca were out on their morning stroll. It was, indeed, a fine day to be out strolling. Perhaps this had something to do with their reason for going, or perhaps it had more to do with the fact that Tasco had lost his fathers round toilet roll holder in the woods and had been afraid that he would be requested to make another by hand. But whatever the reason, the two brothers were out in the bright sunshine, squinting awkwardly, stepping gingerly, entirely unused to the treacherous ways of twig, branch, and insect.
"There is not a day goes by where you don't use fathers toilet roll holder as a toy," Tabosca sighed, swiping at another thorny branch with sluggish anger. He had been out for three hours now, and there had been no fountain of youth (that Toasco had promised they'd find), nor any bathing naked women standing in front of waterfalls.
"Why should father have his own toilet holder?" Tasco asked sullenly. He, too, had wanted to come across the fountain of youth by now (even though he made it up).
"That's the order of life," Tabosca said simply.
They both ducked under a rather fat branch and raised their legs high to leap lightly over another on the ground.
"Hey Tasco look!" Tabosca cried suddenly in a voice that could only signal danger.
"What!" Tasco squealed, stopping dead.
Tabosca pointed a little way ahead where the dense trees cleared to make a small round circle of tranquility. In this tranquil space, there lay a man who appeared to be moving slowly and moaning.
"Hey!" called Tabosca. "You there!"
"Shhh! Tabosca!" Tasco squeaked. He reached for his older brothers arm, but Tabosca practically tripped over himself as he hurried over.
"Are you alright?" he asked the man.
The man groaned. "I've been shot," he said weakly.
"Shot? Have you really?"
Tasco inched closer and peered down at the small man who was wearing a grey shirt with sleeves, brown leggings,, and a pointy purple hat, and saw what looked like a purple crystal stuck in his chest.
"Is-I- is that... is that in your skin?" Tasco whispered, immediately twitching in horror.
"I doubt that!" Tabosca laughed heartily for a good few seconds, while the stranger wriggled about. "There's no such thing as a crystal in someone, Tasco. You haven't read all of fathers encyclopedias yet have you?"
Tasco frowned at his brothers almighty expression. It was one of extreme goodwill and happiness, neither of which belonged in this situation.
"Excuse me!" cried the man. The brothers jumped. "Did any of you happen to see that hag of a witch who lured me to my doom?"
The brothers shook their heads.
"What do you mean 'witch'?" Tabosca asked tentatively. He had read all of his fathers encyclopedias, but could not remember anything about a witch.
"Foul creature!" the man spat. He dragged himself into a sitting position with a cry of anguish and the purple crystal came into the light like a slap to the face. It was bright, big, and overly sharp to the point of being non-existent. Tasco stared and Tabosca moved about uncomfortably.
"Hello there!" the man said, looking up at them with bright eyes. He stuck out his hand. "I'm Ambrant Elysuifus. I make clothes."
"Fine clothes indeed," said Tabosca as he shook Ambrants hand somewhat slowly and with absolute care. He wasn't sure if Ambrants fingers were also made of crystal and there just was no way of politely asking.
"Did you make that top?" Tasco asked quietly. He hardly believed Ambrant was alive, what with all the blood on his clothes around the crystal.
"I surely did," Ambrant said smugly. He looked down and pinched the fabric. Then let out a mighty roar.
Tasco screamed and fell backwards. Tabosca shrieked, "God almighty!" and flung one arm up into the air.
"MY TUNIC! THAT STENCH OF A WOMAN!"
Ambrant scrambled up, with such movements that made him look like he was on a slab of ice. Tabosca asked: "Are you ok?"
Tasco scuttled over to a tree and shrunk down as small as he could, for fear that this man had magical powers in the hexing and cursing variety.
"SHE STOLE MY TUNIC AND THEN HAD THE AUDACIOUS OF NERVES TO STICK THIS THING BACK INSIDE MY BODY!"
"Twice?!" Tasco squealed.
"I'm sorry, but-" started Tabosca, but Ambrant began tugging at the crystal in a fit of rage.
"SHE THINKS SHE CAN CONTROL ME? I AM MIGHTY AND HORRID! I WILL CONTROL HER AOOWWWWWWWWWW...!" his hands slid over the crystal and right off the end where blood began to drip from his fingertips.
"Oh my heavens," Tabosca blanched.
"WRETCHED FENCH WENCH SKENCH!"
"Oh my god it's a curse!" Tasco closed his eyes.
"THERE WILL BE NO MERCYYYYYYY!" Ambrant screamed up into the sky. Then he blinked, looked around at the horribly pale and terrified boys, and said calmly and quiet unlike five seconds ago: "But I protest. How am I to have revenge without first acquainting myself with friends. We must enjoy fine delicacies!"
He waved his hands and said a few words that neither boy understood but had all heard separately at some point in their lives, and then a giant table appeared clothed in royal fabric, carrying colourful baked goods and enticing goblets of fruity mead.
The brothers beamed.
