Day 29 a continuation...
Dear lord.
Prices Cerri! The prices!
[I actually blocked my hideous spending spree from my mind because today I did use eftpos].
So yesterday I bought an ice cream with petrol and that came to 4.80. I am downright appalled at the amount charged to the public for a little ice cream on a stick.
But moving on, because I do not dwell on unfortunate past situations.
Today my shopping list looks like:
Phone credit for the month 30.00
House warming present for a friend 7.00
Kettle chips honey soy 2.99
Smiths crinkle cut chicken 1.49
Piranha saucy bbq grill chips 2.67
Nippy's iced coffee 2.67
Allens lollies party mix 1.50
Freddo faces 4.15
TOTAL: 15.49
Plus credit: 45.49
Actual grocery shopping done earlier in the day for the next week ahead:
1 pear 60c
1 mandarin 42c
1 kiwi fruit 69c
1 punnet of blueberries 2.99
2 litres of milk 1.50
Wholemeal bread 1.99
Macleans Toothpaste 1.80
Custard and cream bowl (for my housemate) 1.50
Block of chocolate on special 2.99
Gluten free brownie mix on special 4.69
TOTAL: 18.96
15.49 + 18.96 = 34.45 on food today that needs to last me until next thursday (in theory).
^_^
And that has been another update by Cerri Fae. Stay tuned for more outrageousness in tomorrow's special broadcast live, 'Has this really been a month of Cerri, or was there an imposter all along?' If so, who is this imposter? Are they directly related or from a completely different country? Are they, in fact, a multimillionaire and wish to wire across millions of dollars to help a sista out?
Find out all this and more on tomorrow's live special, showing at the new time 5.45 pm, right after the cricket.
*U___U*
Friday 29 September 2017
Did you really use bean curd?
Day 29
Frig.
One more day.
Alright people, I'm not gunna lie- and let me tell you, I was going to. I was actually quite ashamed and perhaps not ashamed but more in a state of boredom that I didn't wish to reveal to anyone because I literally went out whilst in a fit of boredom and purchased a trucktonne (see what I did there? For the more pg readers... ;) IF YOU'RE A PG READER WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG? I WILL NOT CENSOR THE ESSENCE OF CERRI FOR THE INNOCENCE OF SOME READERS WHO PROBABLY AREN'T EVEN READING) of snacks. And I'm not talking the toy truck kind of load, where you walk out with a large packet of chips, a bottle of coke and maybe some lollies to tide you over until tomorrow. No, I'm talking THREE packets of chips in various flavours, all which were shit, not even joking, italics will never be enough to make up for the regret I have ultimately faced today. As well as a chocolate iced coffee drink, which I very well think is giving me heart palpitations- not the actual carton iced coffee because WE ALL KNOW what little coffee there is in that carton, oh ho ho, don't even be fooled mate. I'm talking about the three coffees I have in like the span of five hours because 'the clock says it's 10am and that's basically universal coffee time'... and then 'oh! It's 12.40 noon, well that's almost 1pm, and everyone knows that 1pm is entirely acceptable for coffee drinking, because so much work has been one and still has to be done that it's only fair to fuel up. Come on then FUEL UP, it's time to shine!'
Fuck.
Can I just interrupt myself and declare how soft and silky my hair is when I use the childrens all in one three in one cheapass shampoo/bodywash/conditioner? It's like, the feel of it renders me speechless. And that is some hard nut to crack there, because I read a lot and write a lot and generally like to throw my ideas around in a free-for-all-but-obviously-copywrited way.
Shit me I'm thirsty as fuck.
Ok, anyway, so I bought the chips, then I bought the nippy's iced coffee, then I bought a packet of allens mixed party bag of lollies, AND THEN I was tempted to also grab a bag of freddo frog heads. (Must be the witch in me).
So something I've noticed during this no spend month that is mercifully almost over, coz GOD have I eaten a lot of junk under the assumption that a famine was happening. And that something is the bad feelings I have had when buying food.
It's all bad! ALL OF IT, ALL THE TIME.
Well.
It's the standing in the aisles with a craving so heavy you could sink four feet right into the floor from it. Ir's the guilt for buying chips instead of fruit, or even, lets be honest, vegetables, because I'm sure I have not purchased a single healthy veggie in this whole month, nor have I eaten my frozen veggie pack or actually cooked my whole un-opened bag of rice or pasta.
I feel like a failure! But worse, I feel like I've missed opportunities just because I was lazy or didn't feel like cooking.
However seeing as that is the Cerri way, I should not be too hard on myself because I hate cooking anyway.
It's the counting the monies, and really wanting the good stuff but then realising if I got the good stuff I'd have to blog about how lame I was, and it was entirely unfair. It has felt like a prison.
Ok, so down to the important stuff, which is the reason why I blogged for one month straight about literally nothing.
I mentioned that my usual pay was 1,200 every fortnight.
I didn't mention that I like to do this game where I put 100 or 200 etc into a savings account each fortnight, or leave it in my atm account, thinking 'Yes! I am a saver, I am equipped with knowledge and power and all things great'.
Then I walk around in a strut for a few days all amped up on my current savings will of the determined, like a man made out of iron or a man who could use iron to create strong things, or just a strong man who doesn't have anything to do with iron whatsoever, but I was proud and cocky, is what the general gist of this is.
But then maybe a week before payday or the starting week of payday week, I'd get real low on my money having spent it all on food or coffees out with friends or dinners etc, and I'd always take it out again.
And it was a never-ending cycle of trying to save yet never quite getting there.
So! I am happy to announce that this month I have saved a grand total of 310.00
Yep!
THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!
That's a shittonne of coffees and cute little penguin key chains!
How I managed to save three hundred dollars in one month:
~ Apart from the fact that I hardly went anywhere that required payment and had the option of working more shifts than normal resulting in more pay
~ After my usual expenses were taken out, I would take out 100 for myself only that had to last me for that whole two weeks. 60 of that went to petrol and then 20.00 (or shall we say 19.20) of that went to my groceries
~ It wasn't easy. I was invited for coffee and I had to say no. I really wanted to go to a dessert bar with drinks that had cake piled on top of the glass, along with cookies and mountains of whipped cream and runny chocolate. I was invited to join a girl who I work with and who I'm fond of and keen to get to know better to go to the gym and do classes with her, which I was SO KEEN, because it's time I worked off all this junk in my trunk. My legs and arms may be twigs, but I always seem to look at least two months pregnant- which isn't great on all accounts because I don't get the 'glorious baby surprise' at the end of it, but I also don't get the nice flat tummy without it. I need to tone up, and I need to spend money because Lord knows I won't do it on my own free will.
My money incomings and outgoings:
WAGE
1,300
- 275 rent
1025
- 50 super
975
- 400 mortgage
575
- 120 bills
455
- 200 savings goal
255
- 100 me everything
155
So that 155 was the money I left in the account and after the second week I had another 155 which added up to 310. However, like all good things that occur when one practices the Law of Attraction, I managed to score a lot of extra shifts, thus my pay was more in the 1,500 bracket. But! I did not touch it! I took out my 100, and I never ever used eftpos or took money out at the bank. I literally just used whatever was in my purse and then waited for the next payday. And I did not count my 'extra money' from those extra shifts because they are not the norm. A lot of people are off sick with the flu or having a wild time in Hawaii with their annual leave, so I am grabbing the moolah while I can.
I ran out of yoghurt and bread at one stage, and I ran out of Vegemite and even butter. I have a kind mother who gave me some food every now and again, and nanna even bought me a few little groceries once. I wanted avocado, but I wanted chips more, so in the end chips won out and I suffered. My health was actually bloody brilliant, I never took a sick day and I managed to work with stamina, good grace, positivity, and sheer will. I wondered how my bowels would go with the newfound porridge for breakfast instead of toasts, but they didn't really change.
Now, we all know that bowel movements and gut workings are a baseline for how healthy a person is. Well, I mean, everyone who works in aged care, with elderly or babies, or happens to study nursing, nutrition, health, health science, etc.
That's all I'm saying. Gut health. Do it. Live it. Be it. Suggest it, nod at the looks of disgust and walk away knowing that you changed somebody's life. Or grossed them out, it's all the same.
Your body runs on what you put in it. That is literally the only fact of human science. You've heard it before: our bodies are a machine and need fuel from food that gives us nutrients that we convert into energy.
I mentioned a while ago that I was tired af all the time, and a bit pimply, which is something I've noticed when consuming lots of crap foods (if you can even call them foods, more like a bunch of toxins and nasty chemicals in solid form). Chips give me whiteheads and chocolate makes me itch.
Now! If everything that can move and perform tasks on its own is classified as alive, then it makes sense that the cells inside our bodies are also alive. They've (random sciencey people) done experiments on two glasses of water, one with ugly words such as 'hate, ugly, worthless' etc taped onto it and one with kind words such as 'beautiful, strong, intelligent' etc taped to it, and every day these scientists would stand in front of the water glasses and say these words to them. They repeated this over and over for whatever time frame they had, and they monitored the water at a cellular level. They noticed changes to both glasses, the negatively-taped glass had reacted one way and the positively-taped glass had reacted the complete opposite way, and both of their cells structures had changed. So not only had those words affected the two glasses, they had also changed the cell structure of the waters.
Imagine what your thoughts and words are doing to your cells this very minute.
But not only that, if a mere thought can change you cell structure inside your body, imagine, just imagine, what the crap we put in our mouths is doing to our cells and organs.
I may be viewed negatively for this opinion, but I have always believed that the food and drink we consume is giving us cancer, and not only cancer but a range of other diseases that we would not have.
Such as depression and anxiety. I developed anxiety due to a traumatic event in my late teenage years, and straight away the doctor prescribed me ant-anxieties. I walked out like 'Well, I really wanted coping mechanisms, but ok...'
I never bought the prescription, instead whenever I had an anxiety attack I would make a cup of chamomile tea and read a book that I found calming. It didn't always work. Sometimes I'd be in an anxiety attack for a good hour with the feeling of impending doom even though everything was calm and ok. It was bizarre, I didn't care for it, but every time I experienced it I would make the tea first, then sit down and force myself to read a book.
Gradually the attacks wore off. I'm still wary about a lot of things and prone to overthinking, worrying, and catastrophizing situations, but I do not experience those attacks and I legit still have the prescription.
I do believe some people need medication because it works for them. I'm just saying, it's now very common to hear people say they're on or have been on or are going on anti-depressants or anti-anxieties and I wonder about it. I know the world is a dark place, but surely not that dark.
Anyway!
That has been 'Beliefs of the Cerri kind'. Thank you for listening.
Au Revoir
Good Day
and, Madam! I Decline!
All at once.
\"/
[6__--]
Frig.
One more day.
Alright people, I'm not gunna lie- and let me tell you, I was going to. I was actually quite ashamed and perhaps not ashamed but more in a state of boredom that I didn't wish to reveal to anyone because I literally went out whilst in a fit of boredom and purchased a trucktonne (see what I did there? For the more pg readers... ;) IF YOU'RE A PG READER WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG? I WILL NOT CENSOR THE ESSENCE OF CERRI FOR THE INNOCENCE OF SOME READERS WHO PROBABLY AREN'T EVEN READING) of snacks. And I'm not talking the toy truck kind of load, where you walk out with a large packet of chips, a bottle of coke and maybe some lollies to tide you over until tomorrow. No, I'm talking THREE packets of chips in various flavours, all which were shit, not even joking, italics will never be enough to make up for the regret I have ultimately faced today. As well as a chocolate iced coffee drink, which I very well think is giving me heart palpitations- not the actual carton iced coffee because WE ALL KNOW what little coffee there is in that carton, oh ho ho, don't even be fooled mate. I'm talking about the three coffees I have in like the span of five hours because 'the clock says it's 10am and that's basically universal coffee time'... and then 'oh! It's 12.40 noon, well that's almost 1pm, and everyone knows that 1pm is entirely acceptable for coffee drinking, because so much work has been one and still has to be done that it's only fair to fuel up. Come on then FUEL UP, it's time to shine!'
Fuck.
Can I just interrupt myself and declare how soft and silky my hair is when I use the childrens all in one three in one cheapass shampoo/bodywash/conditioner? It's like, the feel of it renders me speechless. And that is some hard nut to crack there, because I read a lot and write a lot and generally like to throw my ideas around in a free-for-all-but-obviously-copywrited way.
Shit me I'm thirsty as fuck.
Ok, anyway, so I bought the chips, then I bought the nippy's iced coffee, then I bought a packet of allens mixed party bag of lollies, AND THEN I was tempted to also grab a bag of freddo frog heads. (Must be the witch in me).
So something I've noticed during this no spend month that is mercifully almost over, coz GOD have I eaten a lot of junk under the assumption that a famine was happening. And that something is the bad feelings I have had when buying food.
It's all bad! ALL OF IT, ALL THE TIME.
Well.
It's the standing in the aisles with a craving so heavy you could sink four feet right into the floor from it. Ir's the guilt for buying chips instead of fruit, or even, lets be honest, vegetables, because I'm sure I have not purchased a single healthy veggie in this whole month, nor have I eaten my frozen veggie pack or actually cooked my whole un-opened bag of rice or pasta.
I feel like a failure! But worse, I feel like I've missed opportunities just because I was lazy or didn't feel like cooking.
However seeing as that is the Cerri way, I should not be too hard on myself because I hate cooking anyway.
It's the counting the monies, and really wanting the good stuff but then realising if I got the good stuff I'd have to blog about how lame I was, and it was entirely unfair. It has felt like a prison.
Ok, so down to the important stuff, which is the reason why I blogged for one month straight about literally nothing.
I mentioned that my usual pay was 1,200 every fortnight.
I didn't mention that I like to do this game where I put 100 or 200 etc into a savings account each fortnight, or leave it in my atm account, thinking 'Yes! I am a saver, I am equipped with knowledge and power and all things great'.
Then I walk around in a strut for a few days all amped up on my current savings will of the determined, like a man made out of iron or a man who could use iron to create strong things, or just a strong man who doesn't have anything to do with iron whatsoever, but I was proud and cocky, is what the general gist of this is.
But then maybe a week before payday or the starting week of payday week, I'd get real low on my money having spent it all on food or coffees out with friends or dinners etc, and I'd always take it out again.
And it was a never-ending cycle of trying to save yet never quite getting there.
So! I am happy to announce that this month I have saved a grand total of 310.00
Yep!
THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!
That's a shittonne of coffees and cute little penguin key chains!
How I managed to save three hundred dollars in one month:
~ Apart from the fact that I hardly went anywhere that required payment and had the option of working more shifts than normal resulting in more pay
~ After my usual expenses were taken out, I would take out 100 for myself only that had to last me for that whole two weeks. 60 of that went to petrol and then 20.00 (or shall we say 19.20) of that went to my groceries
~ It wasn't easy. I was invited for coffee and I had to say no. I really wanted to go to a dessert bar with drinks that had cake piled on top of the glass, along with cookies and mountains of whipped cream and runny chocolate. I was invited to join a girl who I work with and who I'm fond of and keen to get to know better to go to the gym and do classes with her, which I was SO KEEN, because it's time I worked off all this junk in my trunk. My legs and arms may be twigs, but I always seem to look at least two months pregnant- which isn't great on all accounts because I don't get the 'glorious baby surprise' at the end of it, but I also don't get the nice flat tummy without it. I need to tone up, and I need to spend money because Lord knows I won't do it on my own free will.
My money incomings and outgoings:
WAGE
1,300
- 275 rent
1025
- 50 super
975
- 400 mortgage
575
- 120 bills
455
- 200 savings goal
255
- 100 me everything
155
So that 155 was the money I left in the account and after the second week I had another 155 which added up to 310. However, like all good things that occur when one practices the Law of Attraction, I managed to score a lot of extra shifts, thus my pay was more in the 1,500 bracket. But! I did not touch it! I took out my 100, and I never ever used eftpos or took money out at the bank. I literally just used whatever was in my purse and then waited for the next payday. And I did not count my 'extra money' from those extra shifts because they are not the norm. A lot of people are off sick with the flu or having a wild time in Hawaii with their annual leave, so I am grabbing the moolah while I can.
I ran out of yoghurt and bread at one stage, and I ran out of Vegemite and even butter. I have a kind mother who gave me some food every now and again, and nanna even bought me a few little groceries once. I wanted avocado, but I wanted chips more, so in the end chips won out and I suffered. My health was actually bloody brilliant, I never took a sick day and I managed to work with stamina, good grace, positivity, and sheer will. I wondered how my bowels would go with the newfound porridge for breakfast instead of toasts, but they didn't really change.
Now, we all know that bowel movements and gut workings are a baseline for how healthy a person is. Well, I mean, everyone who works in aged care, with elderly or babies, or happens to study nursing, nutrition, health, health science, etc.
That's all I'm saying. Gut health. Do it. Live it. Be it. Suggest it, nod at the looks of disgust and walk away knowing that you changed somebody's life. Or grossed them out, it's all the same.
Your body runs on what you put in it. That is literally the only fact of human science. You've heard it before: our bodies are a machine and need fuel from food that gives us nutrients that we convert into energy.
I mentioned a while ago that I was tired af all the time, and a bit pimply, which is something I've noticed when consuming lots of crap foods (if you can even call them foods, more like a bunch of toxins and nasty chemicals in solid form). Chips give me whiteheads and chocolate makes me itch.
Now! If everything that can move and perform tasks on its own is classified as alive, then it makes sense that the cells inside our bodies are also alive. They've (random sciencey people) done experiments on two glasses of water, one with ugly words such as 'hate, ugly, worthless' etc taped onto it and one with kind words such as 'beautiful, strong, intelligent' etc taped to it, and every day these scientists would stand in front of the water glasses and say these words to them. They repeated this over and over for whatever time frame they had, and they monitored the water at a cellular level. They noticed changes to both glasses, the negatively-taped glass had reacted one way and the positively-taped glass had reacted the complete opposite way, and both of their cells structures had changed. So not only had those words affected the two glasses, they had also changed the cell structure of the waters.
Imagine what your thoughts and words are doing to your cells this very minute.
But not only that, if a mere thought can change you cell structure inside your body, imagine, just imagine, what the crap we put in our mouths is doing to our cells and organs.
I may be viewed negatively for this opinion, but I have always believed that the food and drink we consume is giving us cancer, and not only cancer but a range of other diseases that we would not have.
Such as depression and anxiety. I developed anxiety due to a traumatic event in my late teenage years, and straight away the doctor prescribed me ant-anxieties. I walked out like 'Well, I really wanted coping mechanisms, but ok...'
I never bought the prescription, instead whenever I had an anxiety attack I would make a cup of chamomile tea and read a book that I found calming. It didn't always work. Sometimes I'd be in an anxiety attack for a good hour with the feeling of impending doom even though everything was calm and ok. It was bizarre, I didn't care for it, but every time I experienced it I would make the tea first, then sit down and force myself to read a book.
Gradually the attacks wore off. I'm still wary about a lot of things and prone to overthinking, worrying, and catastrophizing situations, but I do not experience those attacks and I legit still have the prescription.
I do believe some people need medication because it works for them. I'm just saying, it's now very common to hear people say they're on or have been on or are going on anti-depressants or anti-anxieties and I wonder about it. I know the world is a dark place, but surely not that dark.
Anyway!
That has been 'Beliefs of the Cerri kind'. Thank you for listening.
Au Revoir
Good Day
and, Madam! I Decline!
All at once.
\"/
[6__--]
Thursday 28 September 2017
Yes this is all in your mind, but isn't everything?
Day 28
Gosh it feels like it's been day 28 forever!
I think a lot of things feel like they have been around forever, at least for me. Maybe I'm just constantly entertaining them in the back of my mind.
So! Today I bought petrol for 30 and before I could stop myself I had also purchased a connoisseur ice-cream and let me tell you... it was MAGNIFICENT. It was HEAVEN in food form. It was like, 'yes, I do have a junk food addiction, thanks for asking, your concern is not needed because I am one with the mere thought of chocolate and I am fine with that.'
And it was also like, 'Why, yes, I do feel like a 19th century Mycroft. Do help me out of this chair, if you would.'
I admit, I fantasised about watching Sherlock again, but I felt that it would only bring about mind-numbing boredom as I have actually watched them all about 4 times. There isn't too much that is new. A lot of theories, a lot of fanart and headcannon and so forth, ALL are accepted, ALL are great, but I really wanted something I hadn't seen so I could be immersed completely.
As it worked out, I remembered nanna mentioning that she was going to watch The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and I thought, yeah why not?
And true love was born. Not the truest of the true, because that is still The Gift, Hideous Kinky, and the first season of Merlin, but it came close.
Also, I am exceptionally tired for some reason even though it's only ten thirty and I think my ceiling might cave in on me as there's a patch above my head that's gone a funny stain-like colour, so I must take my farewell!
Hope to be around for tomorrow's awesome and brilliant blog post, and maybe even some more sardines on toast.
___
,_]__[_,
(6__6)v
Gosh it feels like it's been day 28 forever!
I think a lot of things feel like they have been around forever, at least for me. Maybe I'm just constantly entertaining them in the back of my mind.
So! Today I bought petrol for 30 and before I could stop myself I had also purchased a connoisseur ice-cream and let me tell you... it was MAGNIFICENT. It was HEAVEN in food form. It was like, 'yes, I do have a junk food addiction, thanks for asking, your concern is not needed because I am one with the mere thought of chocolate and I am fine with that.'
And it was also like, 'Why, yes, I do feel like a 19th century Mycroft. Do help me out of this chair, if you would.'
I admit, I fantasised about watching Sherlock again, but I felt that it would only bring about mind-numbing boredom as I have actually watched them all about 4 times. There isn't too much that is new. A lot of theories, a lot of fanart and headcannon and so forth, ALL are accepted, ALL are great, but I really wanted something I hadn't seen so I could be immersed completely.
As it worked out, I remembered nanna mentioning that she was going to watch The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and I thought, yeah why not?
And true love was born. Not the truest of the true, because that is still The Gift, Hideous Kinky, and the first season of Merlin, but it came close.
Also, I am exceptionally tired for some reason even though it's only ten thirty and I think my ceiling might cave in on me as there's a patch above my head that's gone a funny stain-like colour, so I must take my farewell!
Hope to be around for tomorrow's awesome and brilliant blog post, and maybe even some more sardines on toast.
___
,_]__[_,
(6__6)v
Wednesday 27 September 2017
So the horse really did have no name?
Day 27
Hello and welcome... to the 10pm life!
So different!
All the change!
Yes.
So today I didn't really take this challenge seriously and bought a packet of plain oats at probably 1.20, actual ground cinnamon at 2.46 instead of cinnamon sugar because I realised I was putting sugar on my cereal involuntarily- and as far as doing things against your will, that pretty much takes the cake-, and one packet of cheddar wicked twisties at 1.99 because I LOVE THE CHEDDAR ZIGZAG TWISTIES THEY ARE LOVE.
But they are actually regret.
Because I ate almost the whole bag in one sitting then went to nanna's for the ol' dinner and walked out of her house looking pregnant af and a little bit sleepy. Damn that portion size.
I also paid my car rego at 191.00 and stared longingly at the magazine stands.
Oats 1.20
Cinnamon 2.46
Twisties 1.99
VAGUE TOTAL: 5.65
Every time I look out the back window I see one white butterfly floating around the flowers and I like to think it's the same one every time.
Earlier tonight when the sun went down I crept outside and took my bed sheets off the line, noticed a bigish spider doing it's web thing near me and was like 'ffffffffffffffff'. Spent the rest of the five minutes out there cursing the height of the line, cursing the unseeable spider, cursing the dark, cursing horror movies, and cursing that one itchy grass blade touching my leg.
I look forward to experiencing real cinnamon on my oats tomorrow!
Ciao!
.~(^_,_^)~.
Hello and welcome... to the 10pm life!
So different!
All the change!
Yes.
So today I didn't really take this challenge seriously and bought a packet of plain oats at probably 1.20, actual ground cinnamon at 2.46 instead of cinnamon sugar because I realised I was putting sugar on my cereal involuntarily- and as far as doing things against your will, that pretty much takes the cake-, and one packet of cheddar wicked twisties at 1.99 because I LOVE THE CHEDDAR ZIGZAG TWISTIES THEY ARE LOVE.
But they are actually regret.
Because I ate almost the whole bag in one sitting then went to nanna's for the ol' dinner and walked out of her house looking pregnant af and a little bit sleepy. Damn that portion size.
I also paid my car rego at 191.00 and stared longingly at the magazine stands.
Oats 1.20
Cinnamon 2.46
Twisties 1.99
VAGUE TOTAL: 5.65
Every time I look out the back window I see one white butterfly floating around the flowers and I like to think it's the same one every time.
Earlier tonight when the sun went down I crept outside and took my bed sheets off the line, noticed a bigish spider doing it's web thing near me and was like 'ffffffffffffffff'. Spent the rest of the five minutes out there cursing the height of the line, cursing the unseeable spider, cursing the dark, cursing horror movies, and cursing that one itchy grass blade touching my leg.
I look forward to experiencing real cinnamon on my oats tomorrow!
Ciao!
.~(^_,_^)~.
Tuesday 26 September 2017
Is it too early for another coffee?
Day 26
Breakfast: black coffee with no sugar, natural yoghurt with blueberries and cinnamon.
Location: bed
Mood: bliss
Yesterday (today is Wednesday) I worked another double shift after sleeping only two hours the night before, having messed up my sleep with that five hour nap the day before that. But I schlepped through it all in a rather comfortable, slowish, one-task-at-a-time pace. Sometimes I have admitted that I feel like a Timelord because time works out for me. For example, yesterday I was SHIT TIRED, like I could not get any tireder, I was so tired that I stumbled out of bed blurry-eyed and bumped into almost everything that could be bumped into as if I was drunk, and I drove down the expressway in a zig-zag way, jerking the steering wheel, losing focus at times, and generally giving off a vibe of being drunk or a really bad Learner Graduate with big tits.
However, when I got to work I repeated in my head, 'yes I just KNEW you would spill all over my pants god DAMMIT, but this won't change the fact that today I will do everything in a sequence pattern, slowly, properly, and with flow so that I get everything donE without fuss'. And it worked.
I am not bragging when I say that I cut the Lemon Delicious cake into perfect 40 squares. I could not joke about that even if I wanted to because I don't know any lemon delicious jokes. I just typed Lemon Delicious Jokes into google and I came to a whole page of religious jokes that are actually a bit hilarious.
http://www.immaculateheartofmary.com.au/jokes.html
Anyway!
Those who have ever cut an entire tray of lemon delicious pudding will know just how hard it can be and to say that I am now filled with a god-like power is a true understatement.
Also, slicing things into exact squares is so soothing and puts all my jagged/jaded/uneven pieces back together.
I stared off into the distance with the long knife in my hand, just pondering my new-found power.
My co-worker came in and we agreed that I was magnificent and should, actually, in the best interest of every sing person out there, be in charge of slicing lemon puddings everywhere for everyone from now on.
As such with a double shift, there is no time to spend and I looked at the once-sexy vending machine without an emotion at all. I thought 'Have I moved on? Is there now something better than those brightly colourful and promising snackeroos? Do I know what this new thing is?'
Yes. It is the satisfaction of seeing a savings amount grow.
A vague background of my financials:
~ Firstly, you should watch Burn After Reading. That movie has everything a good movie could ever want. It is the bomb, the sex, the masterpiece, and it has mostly all of my favourite actors in it- the most important being Tilda Swinton
~ I have never owned a credit card
~ I have never taken out a personal loan, although I have thought about it now that I have mortgage, but only to do house stuff that would improve the house and make the occupants lives better because life is short and sometimes building an additional room is like five years of my pay in total
~ I own my car outright because I paid 6,000 for it about 7 years ago, and I LOVE IT, even though I treat him really badly he still manages to take me wherever I want to go without complaint but with an odd clicking sound in the engine that I need to get fixed
~ I have not and do not rent to own. NEVER DO THIS. It is money down the drain, I cannot think of a worse avenue for your money to travel. I don't watch TV- one, because it's all dumbed down rubbish that kills my brain cells, and two, because I can't get the two channels I actually want to watch, them being ABC and SBS with all the interesting documentaries, British tv shows, Arthouse movies, children's cartoons, etc, and sometimes the 74 or house/home improvement channel
~ I have spent most of my life going without things. I don't buy clothes every week or month, I don't own a stereo system, my laptop is about ten years old and failing all the time, but I had it fixed for free a while ago even though it didn't help too much with some of the issues. I hardly go out to drink or clubbing, I bought the cheapest mobile phone outright there is that came with internet and a screen big enough for me to see the internet pages and just pay for credit as I go.
~ I have ten dollars in coins that I keep for a literal emergency grocery shop, which is enough to get me bread and maybe milk or eggs to last me until my next pay
~ My main goal financially is to pay off my mortgage as soon as possible and that means going without again for a long time to come
Tips of the financial kind:
~ Educate yourself
~ Have you looked at your Super? Do you know what Super is? Are you sure you have Super? DO NOT DELAY. The earlier you organise your Superannuation the easier it becomes, the better you feel, and the more you will have in your account
--A NOTE ON SUPER
- You should make fortnightly contributions. 10, 20, 50, 100, it doesn't matter how much, but every bit counts and starting early is the KEY.
- Do the calculations. Get a table, make a really strong coffee, grab some chocolate things or crunchy chips, sit down and work out how much your contributions will add up to in 40 or 60 years. Then do the math backwards to find out how much you will likely have to live on each fortnight or month. Are you comfortable with that amount?
- Look into your account/s and track which investments you're following. Can you talk to someone about changing them to better performing investments?
- Can you salary sacrifice into your super? Ask your employer. Salary sacrifice is money that does not get taxed and is put straight into your super account, which is pretty darn cool!
~ Borrow financial books from the library and read them all
~ Buy financial magazines
~ Set up a direct deposit system where you pay yourself immediately after paying bills/mortgage/rent. You don't miss money that you didn't realise you had.
~ Research shares, take note of your country's economy, browse websites, write everything down in a notebook so you can refer back to it later and it's all in one place. Buy some folders with plastic sleeves and organise your shiz into easy to read sections.
~ You may be on a real low income and think 'What the F? How can I do any of this?' You can start by saving one or two dollars, or copy that single mother with small children who managed to save every five dollar note she ever received. She slipped them into the back of her wallet and forgot about them while out, then came home and put them a case. Then she went to the bank with 4,000 to put into her account. Two dollars a week equals 104 dollars at the end of the year, and that's something amazing!
~ Remember everything worthwhile takes time and patience.
Three more days left! Gosh, where has the time gone!
You can do it Cerri! Smash out this challenge!
^__^
Breakfast: black coffee with no sugar, natural yoghurt with blueberries and cinnamon.
Location: bed
Mood: bliss
Yesterday (today is Wednesday) I worked another double shift after sleeping only two hours the night before, having messed up my sleep with that five hour nap the day before that. But I schlepped through it all in a rather comfortable, slowish, one-task-at-a-time pace. Sometimes I have admitted that I feel like a Timelord because time works out for me. For example, yesterday I was SHIT TIRED, like I could not get any tireder, I was so tired that I stumbled out of bed blurry-eyed and bumped into almost everything that could be bumped into as if I was drunk, and I drove down the expressway in a zig-zag way, jerking the steering wheel, losing focus at times, and generally giving off a vibe of being drunk or a really bad Learner Graduate with big tits.
However, when I got to work I repeated in my head, 'yes I just KNEW you would spill all over my pants god DAMMIT, but this won't change the fact that today I will do everything in a sequence pattern, slowly, properly, and with flow so that I get everything donE without fuss'. And it worked.
I am not bragging when I say that I cut the Lemon Delicious cake into perfect 40 squares. I could not joke about that even if I wanted to because I don't know any lemon delicious jokes. I just typed Lemon Delicious Jokes into google and I came to a whole page of religious jokes that are actually a bit hilarious.
http://www.immaculateheartofmary.com.au/jokes.html
Anyway!
Those who have ever cut an entire tray of lemon delicious pudding will know just how hard it can be and to say that I am now filled with a god-like power is a true understatement.
Also, slicing things into exact squares is so soothing and puts all my jagged/jaded/uneven pieces back together.
I stared off into the distance with the long knife in my hand, just pondering my new-found power.
My co-worker came in and we agreed that I was magnificent and should, actually, in the best interest of every sing person out there, be in charge of slicing lemon puddings everywhere for everyone from now on.
As such with a double shift, there is no time to spend and I looked at the once-sexy vending machine without an emotion at all. I thought 'Have I moved on? Is there now something better than those brightly colourful and promising snackeroos? Do I know what this new thing is?'
Yes. It is the satisfaction of seeing a savings amount grow.
A vague background of my financials:
~ Firstly, you should watch Burn After Reading. That movie has everything a good movie could ever want. It is the bomb, the sex, the masterpiece, and it has mostly all of my favourite actors in it- the most important being Tilda Swinton
~ I have never owned a credit card
~ I have never taken out a personal loan, although I have thought about it now that I have mortgage, but only to do house stuff that would improve the house and make the occupants lives better because life is short and sometimes building an additional room is like five years of my pay in total
~ I own my car outright because I paid 6,000 for it about 7 years ago, and I LOVE IT, even though I treat him really badly he still manages to take me wherever I want to go without complaint but with an odd clicking sound in the engine that I need to get fixed
~ I have not and do not rent to own. NEVER DO THIS. It is money down the drain, I cannot think of a worse avenue for your money to travel. I don't watch TV- one, because it's all dumbed down rubbish that kills my brain cells, and two, because I can't get the two channels I actually want to watch, them being ABC and SBS with all the interesting documentaries, British tv shows, Arthouse movies, children's cartoons, etc, and sometimes the 74 or house/home improvement channel
~ I have spent most of my life going without things. I don't buy clothes every week or month, I don't own a stereo system, my laptop is about ten years old and failing all the time, but I had it fixed for free a while ago even though it didn't help too much with some of the issues. I hardly go out to drink or clubbing, I bought the cheapest mobile phone outright there is that came with internet and a screen big enough for me to see the internet pages and just pay for credit as I go.
~ I have ten dollars in coins that I keep for a literal emergency grocery shop, which is enough to get me bread and maybe milk or eggs to last me until my next pay
~ My main goal financially is to pay off my mortgage as soon as possible and that means going without again for a long time to come
Tips of the financial kind:
~ Educate yourself
~ Have you looked at your Super? Do you know what Super is? Are you sure you have Super? DO NOT DELAY. The earlier you organise your Superannuation the easier it becomes, the better you feel, and the more you will have in your account
--A NOTE ON SUPER
- You should make fortnightly contributions. 10, 20, 50, 100, it doesn't matter how much, but every bit counts and starting early is the KEY.
- Do the calculations. Get a table, make a really strong coffee, grab some chocolate things or crunchy chips, sit down and work out how much your contributions will add up to in 40 or 60 years. Then do the math backwards to find out how much you will likely have to live on each fortnight or month. Are you comfortable with that amount?
- Look into your account/s and track which investments you're following. Can you talk to someone about changing them to better performing investments?
- Can you salary sacrifice into your super? Ask your employer. Salary sacrifice is money that does not get taxed and is put straight into your super account, which is pretty darn cool!
~ Borrow financial books from the library and read them all
~ Buy financial magazines
~ Set up a direct deposit system where you pay yourself immediately after paying bills/mortgage/rent. You don't miss money that you didn't realise you had.
~ Research shares, take note of your country's economy, browse websites, write everything down in a notebook so you can refer back to it later and it's all in one place. Buy some folders with plastic sleeves and organise your shiz into easy to read sections.
~ You may be on a real low income and think 'What the F? How can I do any of this?' You can start by saving one or two dollars, or copy that single mother with small children who managed to save every five dollar note she ever received. She slipped them into the back of her wallet and forgot about them while out, then came home and put them a case. Then she went to the bank with 4,000 to put into her account. Two dollars a week equals 104 dollars at the end of the year, and that's something amazing!
~ Remember everything worthwhile takes time and patience.
Three more days left! Gosh, where has the time gone!
You can do it Cerri! Smash out this challenge!
^__^
Monday 25 September 2017
Can you please tell me what the time is?
Day 24 & 25
Hello, it is ONCE AGAIN 11.06 pm.
This is actually most unfortunate because I'm usually extremely tired at this time of night due to my current lifestyle, however! This afternoon I had a five hour nap. No lie! I came home, snuggled into the bed and slept for a good hour, woke up in that extreme disorientated hungover type of way, checked my clock and realised it was 5. I jumped up, FIVE AM !? I yelled in my head. That was some longass sleep I just had there. I stumbled all blurry-eyed out into the lounge room and asked my housemate if it was five in the afternoon, and she said yes, and I thought 'Great! I can do normal stuff like clean and finish knitting my beanie! So pumped!'
Then I proceeded to go back to bed and fall asleep for about five hours.
What a tripper.
I woke up at about 10pm, lurched into a standing position, made my groggy way through the house, bumping into walls as I pulled on my jacket, and entered the freezing kitchen to make some dinner. I was thinking 'fuck me, now I'll probably be awake until like 3 am, and I have to be up at 5.'
Dealt with some family issues.
Ate the dinner, which was roast and steamed veggies with lamb and gravy, but I wasn't keen on the smell of the lamb so I threw it out.
Anyone reading this blog is going to think my diet is fucked up. And it surprisingly is.
Ok! Because of my overly-exhausted human state I have taken part in another no spend day! Go me!
The trick is to have chocolates or biscuits in bulk and then either take say, two, with you to work to stop you spending twenty dollars at that steamy vending machine. When you get the urge to buy something whilst in your car, you can say 'hang on! I already have amazing chocolate brownies at home, and I don't really need that toenail buffer and heated footspa, do I? So full speed ahead to comfy bed goodness!'
Yesterday I spent nothing also on account of working a double shift and then slogging it all the way to Peterbae's house where he gave me some chocolate brownies he had created that afternoon. WHAT A LEGEND! 💗
If any a girl needed some gooey, under-cooked, chocolate goodness after working two double shifts in a row all the while working with either a wet, sweet-smelling rhubarb pie patch on the shoe and seeping into the sock, and then a dry but was-wet-only-two-hours-ago tea bag stain patch on the other shoe, it was me.
Damn those sweet stains, forcing me to go out and buy new shoes.... ^__6
But I haven't bought new ones yet so let's rest assured.
I have decided what I will do with any/all my savings from this month:
~ Buy one thing from Officeworks that really makes my heart sing. (YOU ALL MAKE MY HEART SING, DON'T WRINKLE YOUR CREASE-FREE PAPER, BUT THERE WILL BE ONE ITEM THAT MAKES MY HEART COMPLETELY SOAR INTO THE CLOUDS ABOVE AND THAT WILL BE MINE).
~ Then, take a trip to the city. I sound like a country hick, but the truth is that I just never get the energy or the will to venture on into the big wide city world. Parking, for a start. Then the age it takes on the bus, that's usually noisy and cramped and uncomfortable.
I would like to add a very important note here. For anyone who wants a Euphoric Smelling Experience, please go out and purchase Calvin Klein for men Free. Spray a little of it on yourself. Smell.
Experience Euphoric State.
Make a sandwich.
Plant a lavender bush.
Vote yes.
Five more days to go! Phew, it's been a weirdly un-hard challenge, mostly because I substituted regular nourishing foods with snacks and then felt tired and a bit pimply afterwards.
. ..,~' * Keep calm and drink coffee * '~,.. .
Hello, it is ONCE AGAIN 11.06 pm.
This is actually most unfortunate because I'm usually extremely tired at this time of night due to my current lifestyle, however! This afternoon I had a five hour nap. No lie! I came home, snuggled into the bed and slept for a good hour, woke up in that extreme disorientated hungover type of way, checked my clock and realised it was 5. I jumped up, FIVE AM !? I yelled in my head. That was some longass sleep I just had there. I stumbled all blurry-eyed out into the lounge room and asked my housemate if it was five in the afternoon, and she said yes, and I thought 'Great! I can do normal stuff like clean and finish knitting my beanie! So pumped!'
Then I proceeded to go back to bed and fall asleep for about five hours.
What a tripper.
I woke up at about 10pm, lurched into a standing position, made my groggy way through the house, bumping into walls as I pulled on my jacket, and entered the freezing kitchen to make some dinner. I was thinking 'fuck me, now I'll probably be awake until like 3 am, and I have to be up at 5.'
Dealt with some family issues.
Ate the dinner, which was roast and steamed veggies with lamb and gravy, but I wasn't keen on the smell of the lamb so I threw it out.
Anyone reading this blog is going to think my diet is fucked up. And it surprisingly is.
Ok! Because of my overly-exhausted human state I have taken part in another no spend day! Go me!
The trick is to have chocolates or biscuits in bulk and then either take say, two, with you to work to stop you spending twenty dollars at that steamy vending machine. When you get the urge to buy something whilst in your car, you can say 'hang on! I already have amazing chocolate brownies at home, and I don't really need that toenail buffer and heated footspa, do I? So full speed ahead to comfy bed goodness!'
Yesterday I spent nothing also on account of working a double shift and then slogging it all the way to Peterbae's house where he gave me some chocolate brownies he had created that afternoon. WHAT A LEGEND! 💗
If any a girl needed some gooey, under-cooked, chocolate goodness after working two double shifts in a row all the while working with either a wet, sweet-smelling rhubarb pie patch on the shoe and seeping into the sock, and then a dry but was-wet-only-two-hours-ago tea bag stain patch on the other shoe, it was me.
Damn those sweet stains, forcing me to go out and buy new shoes.... ^__6
But I haven't bought new ones yet so let's rest assured.
I have decided what I will do with any/all my savings from this month:
~ Buy one thing from Officeworks that really makes my heart sing. (YOU ALL MAKE MY HEART SING, DON'T WRINKLE YOUR CREASE-FREE PAPER, BUT THERE WILL BE ONE ITEM THAT MAKES MY HEART COMPLETELY SOAR INTO THE CLOUDS ABOVE AND THAT WILL BE MINE).
~ Then, take a trip to the city. I sound like a country hick, but the truth is that I just never get the energy or the will to venture on into the big wide city world. Parking, for a start. Then the age it takes on the bus, that's usually noisy and cramped and uncomfortable.
I would like to add a very important note here. For anyone who wants a Euphoric Smelling Experience, please go out and purchase Calvin Klein for men Free. Spray a little of it on yourself. Smell.
Experience Euphoric State.
Make a sandwich.
Plant a lavender bush.
Vote yes.
Five more days to go! Phew, it's been a weirdly un-hard challenge, mostly because I substituted regular nourishing foods with snacks and then felt tired and a bit pimply afterwards.
. ..,~' * Keep calm and drink coffee * '~,.. .
Saturday 23 September 2017
Where do dreams come from?
Day 23
There are times in my life where I can sit for hours and be peacefully browsing the web in a real lazy 'killing off the last few good brain cells I have' kind of way, and then there are times where I race around in a flurry doing everything at top speed and sort of internally cursing time for being a slippery mofo while also trying to come up with a worthwhile bargain for more.
Would it accept a pair of pink, stripey socks, perhaps?
Too feminine?
Maybe a jingle bell hat?
Or a pair of broken, yellow suspenders?
Does time even wear pants?
Damn why is once again 11pm?
Ok, so very quickly, this one time I was eating chips in the staff room and this male nurse came in and he was entirely amused that I was eating chips. Then later in the day I was once again in the staff room and it was once again a packet of chips, and ONCE AGAIN, this male nurse saw me eating them.
So fast forward a couple of days, maybe a week, and he was walking past me in the hallway with another female nurse. I said hi, he said hi, the female nurse asked 'no chips today?'
I was like, 'ohhhh nooooo... I'm now the chip girl...'
And so it has remained until this very day.
Godfuckdamn chips are the best.
Today I have spent nothing! What a hoot! And I have, yet again, done a double shift. A resident gave me a box of chocolates. A bird flew into a window. I fixed a remote control with cling wrap. I did that whole 'sailing through the day without a real interest in the goings on', because I thought 'well, what is the point?'
I have a funny feeling aliens were involved somehow, only I can't remember and couldn't possibly see how.
My day was...
~ Opening yoghurt tubs
~ Passing shrubbery
~ Thinking things like 'why can I still not touch my toes? I'm an adult now!'
~ Getting stuck with doing tasks others left behind
~ A funny sort of here and there mild cramp/abdomen pain
~ Strands of hair hanging in front of the eyes due to soft hair from childrens all in one shampoo/conditioner/bodywash
~ Clicking my green pen in a distracted yet purposeful way
And that is all.
Namaste!
.^ . ^.
\ .. /
\ /
\../
There are times in my life where I can sit for hours and be peacefully browsing the web in a real lazy 'killing off the last few good brain cells I have' kind of way, and then there are times where I race around in a flurry doing everything at top speed and sort of internally cursing time for being a slippery mofo while also trying to come up with a worthwhile bargain for more.
Would it accept a pair of pink, stripey socks, perhaps?
Too feminine?
Maybe a jingle bell hat?
Or a pair of broken, yellow suspenders?
Does time even wear pants?
Damn why is once again 11pm?
Ok, so very quickly, this one time I was eating chips in the staff room and this male nurse came in and he was entirely amused that I was eating chips. Then later in the day I was once again in the staff room and it was once again a packet of chips, and ONCE AGAIN, this male nurse saw me eating them.
So fast forward a couple of days, maybe a week, and he was walking past me in the hallway with another female nurse. I said hi, he said hi, the female nurse asked 'no chips today?'
I was like, 'ohhhh nooooo... I'm now the chip girl...'
And so it has remained until this very day.
Godfuckdamn chips are the best.
Today I have spent nothing! What a hoot! And I have, yet again, done a double shift. A resident gave me a box of chocolates. A bird flew into a window. I fixed a remote control with cling wrap. I did that whole 'sailing through the day without a real interest in the goings on', because I thought 'well, what is the point?'
I have a funny feeling aliens were involved somehow, only I can't remember and couldn't possibly see how.
My day was...
~ Opening yoghurt tubs
~ Passing shrubbery
~ Thinking things like 'why can I still not touch my toes? I'm an adult now!'
~ Getting stuck with doing tasks others left behind
~ A funny sort of here and there mild cramp/abdomen pain
~ Strands of hair hanging in front of the eyes due to soft hair from childrens all in one shampoo/conditioner/bodywash
~ Clicking my green pen in a distracted yet purposeful way
And that is all.
Namaste!
.^ . ^.
\ .. /
\ /
\../
Friday 22 September 2017
Are we bound for glory?
Day 22
Today I have nearly burned my tongue on every single food item consumed, except maybe breakfast, which was porridge. Porridge is so much nicer with yoghurt, and then with the added cinnamon on top if you're like me and find regular yoghurt too sweet. WHY DO I KEEP EATING IT OMGGGG STOP CERRI.
Ok.
This soup business is one giant ball of distress right there.
It's so amazing because I added mashed potato to it to make it creamy and thick, AND YET, every single time I take a spoonful it scorches my innocent tongue. Like, maybe I won't heat the soup up twice as long as I normally do seeing as it has a thicker potato substance to aid it along the 'why is my soup taking foreverrrrrrrrrrr to get to the hot level' process.
Come to think of it, the only foods I have consumed today have been this soup and porridge. Dayum soup, why so much hate? Let some love in your life, shrug of the heavy responsibilities of worrying about your flovour, liquid-to-solid ratio, general overall appeal to the critical eye... let them all go rolling down that hill and lie back under a tree, or get some sun, allow yourself to spread out, containment in bowls or cups is for the weak! You are now free!
I should TOTALLY drink my soup in a mug. Why I struggle along with balancing a whole bowlful precariously on my pile of quilts (yes, at the very top!) I will never know. Or maybe I will. Maybe tomorrow I'll come back from the future and slap myself in the face for my inability to adapt to the soup-eating way.
"Grow a pair," I will say. "Of apples, because I'm downright starving and have a massive craving for apples. The Granny Smith kind."
But then I will slap my future self. "Granny apples are for the children of yesterday. Today- why- today! We eat Red Delicious!"
"Don't make me laugh!" my future self will snort with scorn and distaste and a little scream of mirth somewhere in there. I will watch with mild concern.
"Oh, no," I will start, obviously, in a way one would when surprised but totally earnest. "I was actually serious..."
My future self slaps her knee. "Red delicious." She'll scream with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Never heard such nonsense..."
I had never imagined that future me could get on my nerves in such a short space of time, but in that moment I will know and I will be filled with an insatiable feeling of guilt. The emotion that cannot be quenched no matter how many times you do a run-over in your head with a page-long list of things to change. Re-writing guilt takes hours.
"Excuse me," I will say in a condescending way with a hard frown on my face to show just how serious I am. "I have only ever grown strawberries and they have withered and died because I do not garden, and I will not garden, and I am afraid that the girl who did once try to garden but fail miserably lives here no longer. So away with you!"
And I will turn and smirk at how cool, collected, and calm I was considering that I was just engaged with a confronting squabble my future self.
I simply must not leave, I will think firmly, until I have her time machine plans.
But when I turn back with love in my heart and peace-making chocolates (or teddy, whichever my future self is more prone to, although, if she's anything like me she will prefer the chocolates, no doubt) in my hand, she is nowhere to be seen.
Today I...
~ Managed to catch two mice in my humane mouse trap using Twisties as bait and then I drove them down the street to a park where I set them free. Cheese Twisties. They are pure gold and sex and heavenly sin ALL at the same time.
Which would be painful and confusing, probably messy and filled with regret afterwards- so basically just your regular one-night stand, only tastier!
I fell asleep last night whilst writing that last post and then woke up when my housemate came in saying that my mousetrap had caught a mouse. I said 'Yay! Cool' and fell asleep again, only to wake up at 5am for no reason whatsoever.
~ Fantasised once again about having the nice firm plastic sheets instead of the cheap, flimsy, stuff they call plastic sheets but feel more like clingwrap.
~ Went to the shops!
Oh yes! I spent money! I really wanted a curry and I stood for a painfully long time staring at the curry pastes and sauces in the regular pasta aisle, then meandered on over to the gluten free aisle, compared prices, checked my internal 'give-a-fuck-o-meter-' and it was sitting comfortably at 2, so I called it a day and just bought...
> Really soft toilet tissue (this is actually on the receipt) (toilet rolls) 6.99
> Biodynamic Farm natural yoghurt 6.39
> 3x Bananas 1.03
> Blueberries on special! 2.99
> Light rye bread 3.49
TOTAL: 20.89
It's all a bit expensive isn't it? I feel like writing a long-winded letter to the yoghurt company asking them exactly why this yoghurt has to be 6.39, because 1.30 would be just as good, if not better.
~ Did all my householdy chores and felt like superwoman but in her disguise form, having well-deserved downtime.
~ Spent most of the day wondering why I had a migraine.
Yes! And that's pretty much it!
Adios and farewell from the darkside, where cookies are choc chip and the most common activity is watching pies cool on the window sill.
Today I have nearly burned my tongue on every single food item consumed, except maybe breakfast, which was porridge. Porridge is so much nicer with yoghurt, and then with the added cinnamon on top if you're like me and find regular yoghurt too sweet. WHY DO I KEEP EATING IT OMGGGG STOP CERRI.
Ok.
This soup business is one giant ball of distress right there.
It's so amazing because I added mashed potato to it to make it creamy and thick, AND YET, every single time I take a spoonful it scorches my innocent tongue. Like, maybe I won't heat the soup up twice as long as I normally do seeing as it has a thicker potato substance to aid it along the 'why is my soup taking foreverrrrrrrrrrr to get to the hot level' process.
Come to think of it, the only foods I have consumed today have been this soup and porridge. Dayum soup, why so much hate? Let some love in your life, shrug of the heavy responsibilities of worrying about your flovour, liquid-to-solid ratio, general overall appeal to the critical eye... let them all go rolling down that hill and lie back under a tree, or get some sun, allow yourself to spread out, containment in bowls or cups is for the weak! You are now free!
I should TOTALLY drink my soup in a mug. Why I struggle along with balancing a whole bowlful precariously on my pile of quilts (yes, at the very top!) I will never know. Or maybe I will. Maybe tomorrow I'll come back from the future and slap myself in the face for my inability to adapt to the soup-eating way.
"Grow a pair," I will say. "Of apples, because I'm downright starving and have a massive craving for apples. The Granny Smith kind."
But then I will slap my future self. "Granny apples are for the children of yesterday. Today- why- today! We eat Red Delicious!"
"Don't make me laugh!" my future self will snort with scorn and distaste and a little scream of mirth somewhere in there. I will watch with mild concern.
"Oh, no," I will start, obviously, in a way one would when surprised but totally earnest. "I was actually serious..."
My future self slaps her knee. "Red delicious." She'll scream with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Never heard such nonsense..."
I had never imagined that future me could get on my nerves in such a short space of time, but in that moment I will know and I will be filled with an insatiable feeling of guilt. The emotion that cannot be quenched no matter how many times you do a run-over in your head with a page-long list of things to change. Re-writing guilt takes hours.
"Excuse me," I will say in a condescending way with a hard frown on my face to show just how serious I am. "I have only ever grown strawberries and they have withered and died because I do not garden, and I will not garden, and I am afraid that the girl who did once try to garden but fail miserably lives here no longer. So away with you!"
And I will turn and smirk at how cool, collected, and calm I was considering that I was just engaged with a confronting squabble my future self.
I simply must not leave, I will think firmly, until I have her time machine plans.
But when I turn back with love in my heart and peace-making chocolates (or teddy, whichever my future self is more prone to, although, if she's anything like me she will prefer the chocolates, no doubt) in my hand, she is nowhere to be seen.
Today I...
~ Managed to catch two mice in my humane mouse trap using Twisties as bait and then I drove them down the street to a park where I set them free. Cheese Twisties. They are pure gold and sex and heavenly sin ALL at the same time.
Which would be painful and confusing, probably messy and filled with regret afterwards- so basically just your regular one-night stand, only tastier!
I fell asleep last night whilst writing that last post and then woke up when my housemate came in saying that my mousetrap had caught a mouse. I said 'Yay! Cool' and fell asleep again, only to wake up at 5am for no reason whatsoever.
~ Fantasised once again about having the nice firm plastic sheets instead of the cheap, flimsy, stuff they call plastic sheets but feel more like clingwrap.
~ Went to the shops!
Oh yes! I spent money! I really wanted a curry and I stood for a painfully long time staring at the curry pastes and sauces in the regular pasta aisle, then meandered on over to the gluten free aisle, compared prices, checked my internal 'give-a-fuck-o-meter-' and it was sitting comfortably at 2, so I called it a day and just bought...
> Really soft toilet tissue (this is actually on the receipt) (toilet rolls) 6.99
> Biodynamic Farm natural yoghurt 6.39
> 3x Bananas 1.03
> Blueberries on special! 2.99
> Light rye bread 3.49
TOTAL: 20.89
It's all a bit expensive isn't it? I feel like writing a long-winded letter to the yoghurt company asking them exactly why this yoghurt has to be 6.39, because 1.30 would be just as good, if not better.
~ Did all my householdy chores and felt like superwoman but in her disguise form, having well-deserved downtime.
~ Spent most of the day wondering why I had a migraine.
Yes! And that's pretty much it!
Adios and farewell from the darkside, where cookies are choc chip and the most common activity is watching pies cool on the window sill.
Thursday 21 September 2017
Have we passed that sign already?
Day 21
Salutations and greetings for my second week (fortnight, actually, I think, maybe... considering I get paid every fortnight, but let's carry on...) Price Tally.
Here is where it gets real.
Since the last price tally on day 10 (so long ago!), this is everything I have spent, ever, in one hit:
Expenses paid
Petrol day 17 - 30.00
Rent - 275
Mortgage - 400
Super - 50
Bills - 120
Savings goal - 200
Grocery items bought
Smiths Teriyaki chips 1.99
Cheezels 1.49
Wholemeal bread 1.79
Cheapass shitty peanut butter 5.49
Butter spreadable 1.99
2x Maccas meals 15.90
Small packet of chips 2.00
Twisties 4.99
Rosemary and salt chips 6.09
Giant freddo frog 1.59
Thick and creamy yoghurt 3.29
TOTAL: 46.61
Other items bought
Dude bros... I am cringing hardcore at this list. What an amount of chips to consume within a ten day radius. But also, like, where is all the food? That's all just snacks. What exactly did I even eat in the last ten days??
Amount spent on chips: 16.56
46.61 - 16.56 = 30.05
Then take away the impromptu maccas outing and that comes to:
30.05 - 15.90 = 14.15 on bread, butter, shitty peanut butter, and yoghurt
Well, good onya.
It's rather startling looking at my diet in writing. I feel like I'm betraying myself because this is the meal diary of a teenage boy who sits in his room all day playing video games and maybe gets interrupted wanking by his dog.
However, here is the truth laid bare.
On an entirely different topic, I ate the most DELICIOUS profiterole yesterday and it was Gluten Free. Yes! Gluten Free!
I would probably even go so far as to say it was, most likely, the most delicious dessert food I have ever tasted and now in my top three favourite desserts, ranking 1st.
Today, I saw a girl wearing my exact jumper. The very same. You know when you see someone you know or recognise or see an object familiar to you and you go, 'Hey there! We are one.'
Well I didn't say that confronting and slightly insulting remark to someone I just met, but I did glance at the girl standing next to me in the cream/yoghurt/frozen section of the Service Station (seeing as how they stock absolutely NOTHING and therefore everything they DO have is crammed altogether as if to make some giant super food) and then do a double take and stared at her chest region for a good thirty seconds, then looked down at my own chest region.
Then I said, 'Hey! We have the same jumper!'
She looked at us and said offhandedly, 'oh yeah we do.'
Dear lord it's almost 11pm
Salutations and greetings for my second week (fortnight, actually, I think, maybe... considering I get paid every fortnight, but let's carry on...) Price Tally.
Here is where it gets real.
Since the last price tally on day 10 (so long ago!), this is everything I have spent, ever, in one hit:
Expenses paid
Petrol day 17 - 30.00
Rent - 275
Mortgage - 400
Super - 50
Bills - 120
Savings goal - 200
Grocery items bought
Smiths Teriyaki chips 1.99
Cheezels 1.49
Wholemeal bread 1.79
Cheapass shitty peanut butter 5.49
Butter spreadable 1.99
2x Maccas meals 15.90
Small packet of chips 2.00
Twisties 4.99
Rosemary and salt chips 6.09
Giant freddo frog 1.59
Thick and creamy yoghurt 3.29
TOTAL: 46.61
Other items bought
Dude bros... I am cringing hardcore at this list. What an amount of chips to consume within a ten day radius. But also, like, where is all the food? That's all just snacks. What exactly did I even eat in the last ten days??
Amount spent on chips: 16.56
46.61 - 16.56 = 30.05
Then take away the impromptu maccas outing and that comes to:
30.05 - 15.90 = 14.15 on bread, butter, shitty peanut butter, and yoghurt
Well, good onya.
It's rather startling looking at my diet in writing. I feel like I'm betraying myself because this is the meal diary of a teenage boy who sits in his room all day playing video games and maybe gets interrupted wanking by his dog.
However, here is the truth laid bare.
On an entirely different topic, I ate the most DELICIOUS profiterole yesterday and it was Gluten Free. Yes! Gluten Free!
I would probably even go so far as to say it was, most likely, the most delicious dessert food I have ever tasted and now in my top three favourite desserts, ranking 1st.
Today, I saw a girl wearing my exact jumper. The very same. You know when you see someone you know or recognise or see an object familiar to you and you go, 'Hey there! We are one.'
Well I didn't say that confronting and slightly insulting remark to someone I just met, but I did glance at the girl standing next to me in the cream/yoghurt/frozen section of the Service Station (seeing as how they stock absolutely NOTHING and therefore everything they DO have is crammed altogether as if to make some giant super food) and then do a double take and stared at her chest region for a good thirty seconds, then looked down at my own chest region.
Then I said, 'Hey! We have the same jumper!'
She looked at us and said offhandedly, 'oh yeah we do.'
Dear lord it's almost 11pm
Wednesday 20 September 2017
Why would you stay another second, unless I got in the way?
Day 20
Christ, I'm going to miss this blog after another ten days.
You know how mountains are moved by one skinny redhead pushing with all his might, and how a tiny pinprick can cause a pimple to erupt, and how a little mosquito can really ruin a fun family barbecue?
WELL.
Because of a string of words all arranged into one sentence, I ended up forming my own tornado and sailing right into a mcdonald's drive thru to order fifteen dollars and ninety cents worth of food (for two people).
Today's total: 15.90
But it would have been much more had I experienced the effort needed to buy something fancy, like a chicken wrap from a cafe, or a ten dollar smoothie from an organic juice bar. Fuck me, how good are those smoothies?
I believe in redemption. I believe showers are time-consuming and feature too many times in this blog for me to be living a life of exotically wild adventure.
I believe some situations are best left alone because they are out of our control. And then, sometimes, they are put in your control and you fuck it up because, hey, you're only human and deserve a break with a nice cold one. Like a nice cold iced cold chocolate.
The only way to get through these times is to grab it by the horns and live each day as it comes. Just live it. That is all you can do. Catch each moment and tuck it in your pocket or seal it away in a jar. Label it. Put it through the wash. Make it a pretty home and wear them often.
Or, maybe, throw it away and start again. Whichever.
Christ, I'm going to miss this blog after another ten days.
You know how mountains are moved by one skinny redhead pushing with all his might, and how a tiny pinprick can cause a pimple to erupt, and how a little mosquito can really ruin a fun family barbecue?
WELL.
Because of a string of words all arranged into one sentence, I ended up forming my own tornado and sailing right into a mcdonald's drive thru to order fifteen dollars and ninety cents worth of food (for two people).
Today's total: 15.90
But it would have been much more had I experienced the effort needed to buy something fancy, like a chicken wrap from a cafe, or a ten dollar smoothie from an organic juice bar. Fuck me, how good are those smoothies?
I believe in redemption. I believe showers are time-consuming and feature too many times in this blog for me to be living a life of exotically wild adventure.
I believe some situations are best left alone because they are out of our control. And then, sometimes, they are put in your control and you fuck it up because, hey, you're only human and deserve a break with a nice cold one. Like a nice cold iced cold chocolate.
The only way to get through these times is to grab it by the horns and live each day as it comes. Just live it. That is all you can do. Catch each moment and tuck it in your pocket or seal it away in a jar. Label it. Put it through the wash. Make it a pretty home and wear them often.
Or, maybe, throw it away and start again. Whichever.
Tuesday 19 September 2017
Stop, is it Hammertime?
Day 19
Number of coffees I have had today:
4
Things I have done a lot of this week:
~ Spilled water or liquid (most likely coffee) whilst taking an enthusiastic gulp
~ Slid into my car with a little 'flump' and a great sense of satisfaction
OK! So I just literally JUST THEN experienced the whole 'water dribbling down the sides of my mouth, down my throat and into my VEST where my bare skin is hidden but somehow now prone to the elemental attack' situation, AND THEN, straight after that, or maybe during, I realised why my brain has been flat as a hat under an elephant's backside. Mercury Retrograde. I say no more.
THANK you.
THEN, I happened to read my horoscope and came face bang into myself right down to the core. And I'm not talking 'airy fairy You Will Find Love Today But Drop Your Ice Cream Onto A Toddler's Shoe And Make Them Cry' horoscope - even though that does sound like a really cool experience and one hell of an artistic horoscope writer- no, I'm taking 'You Are A Taurus, Here Are Your Qualities That You Have Forgotten You Ever Had, You Are An Amazing Star And You Will Shine, But First Eat Some Chocolate Mousse And Take Off That Lump-Suit Please' kind of horoscope.
Like that feeling when you read something and want to scream YES!!!! while wishing that exclamation marks were real and could be used to place neatly atop the head so everyone around you knew that something amazingly significant was happening to you. They could clap. You would receive little 'Well Done!'s and 'So glad you are having this time!'s, and maybe even 'Here's a chocolate heart and a daffodil to reward your efforts of life so far's... Who would deny me my rightful place in the limelight?
So then, naturally, I did the gulp, spill, wipe, fuck my life kind of manovure because I really hate when water dribbles down my chin and neck. It's the worst feeling, like wet hair on the back of the neck after a shower or after someone has squirted you a thousand times with a super soaker. It might have been fun at the time, but the feeling of being half dry is like stepping in a small water spot on the floor so you must change the sock due to the icky wet patch.
God damn that icky wet patch. God damn all the icky wet patches, you will get yours. One day.
And so! I did the gulping spillage dramatics because I had this revelation of life goals and the realisation that everything revolves around the planets. I must become one with the solar system, the star signs, the gardening by the moon, bathing naked in the ocean, meditation to mother earth and the sun god the moon god the harvest god, I must bake natural bread from scratch, make pasta and apple pies from scratch, have a sugar bowl and a heavy cooker pot for stews. I have never in my life cooked a stew. Fuck I'm hungry. Like motherfucking starving.
I found a wrapped half of a cheese block in the back of my fridge today and my first thought was 'FUCK, more cheese', which is blaspheme I know! Believe me, I know how religious the cheese experience can be, and I must atone for my sinful thinking ways, but, like, come on. I don't need more of a product I already have, unless it's yoghurt. I am SO SICK OF CHEESE.
*Praying in the corner with rosary beads and a bible and a cross and whatever else is used to banish ungodly behaviour.
Okay!
So Another Thing to add to my above list is:
~ Read atrocious stories of how vile and cruel humans can be to each other. If I have to read ONE MORE story on child rape, or torture, or pimping out a daughter for money, or forcing animals to live in painful and cold conditions, or unjust murder, or drunk driving death tolls, or hear the word victims, I will start smashing things with a mallet the size of my head and I will take my rage and the injustice of all that is in this world with me as I walk the streets for hours, for days, for MONTHS, until I find every single person who has ever committed or has thought, is thinking, will think, about a crime and I will unleash my fury like a hellish tornado.
CAN WE ALL just live and let live, and not fucking evil up the world with unnecessary filth? Like, seriously, WHY is that SO HARD?? I cannot understand.
I repeat the phrase: 'trust in the process, have faith in the journey' but I have long ago abandoned the thought of God and every time I catch a snippet of news anywhere, it weakens my faith in humanity and my own purpose in this world. I understand there are good people, too. I try and understand that there needs to be darkness so there can be light, and about balance, and harmony of all things, but at the moment I find sleeping hard because there is no greater burden than being alone with your unresolved horrid thoughts, and the constant flash of articles and images racing though your mind.
A lot of these stories are found on Pinterest and Facebook! I haven't watched the news for about five years now and I actually feel better for it. I see it at work or at somebody's house occasionally, I hear about the important things like natural disasters and electricity prices etc, but I have yet to actually finish up a week's worth of news-watching and skip gaily down my street in a short skirt and tank top at midnight and feel completely safe, and not as if I was about to either get raped, kidnapped, shot at, attacked by clowns, run down by a car- either a drunk or on purpose out of road-rage- mugged, insulted, and etc. And I live in a fairly decent area.
~ 💖 ~
We must move forwards with love in our hearts, courage in our situation, faith in ourselves, and peace in every moment. We must look for these things because they may not be within us! I have shied away from the ugly things in life even though I know I must look them in the face and say 'I acknowledge you and I am ready to do this fight, no matter how hard'. Once I have accepted that I am not responsible for these atrocities, I can gather myself and spread love where ever I go, I can be kind and helpful and a good human so that if I should encounter a grueling time myself, I can move through it and hopefully out the other side with strength and bravery. The media wants us to be scared as a means of control, and I REFUSE.
(It's the Mercury, I tell you. The Mercury.)
Ok! Now that's out of the way, I can declare once again that it has been a No Spend day in the Cerri residence!! #Lifegoals!
I was supposed to cook rice or pasta today, but after work I ended up watching Snatched (Ha! The irony!), which was actually surprisingly hilarious. Then I plugged myself into the World Wide Web for about five hours before remembering I had plans to finish knitting my beanie, which I will now have to do tomorrow. I am almost up to the 'decrease' part and feeling pretty darn good about myself right now ^__^. Even though it's too long because apparently I can't measure 4 inches so have consequently done too many rows, but what the hey! I will wear it nonetheless.
Waiting patiently for Thursday, when I can finally have the 19.20 (or just actually go to the shops with money) for my grocery trip. I know I said Evanesco! to the above budget because it was 'bloody rubbish!' (and it was), but I really like waiting until payday to do my shopping and I spent some random money last week on non-essential items so I feel it's only fair.
Au Revoir!
☼Stay strong! ☼Eat cake! ☼Take a nap! ☼Play the fiddle!
Number of coffees I have had today:
4
Things I have done a lot of this week:
~ Spilled water or liquid (most likely coffee) whilst taking an enthusiastic gulp
~ Slid into my car with a little 'flump' and a great sense of satisfaction
OK! So I just literally JUST THEN experienced the whole 'water dribbling down the sides of my mouth, down my throat and into my VEST where my bare skin is hidden but somehow now prone to the elemental attack' situation, AND THEN, straight after that, or maybe during, I realised why my brain has been flat as a hat under an elephant's backside. Mercury Retrograde. I say no more.
THANK you.
THEN, I happened to read my horoscope and came face bang into myself right down to the core. And I'm not talking 'airy fairy You Will Find Love Today But Drop Your Ice Cream Onto A Toddler's Shoe And Make Them Cry' horoscope - even though that does sound like a really cool experience and one hell of an artistic horoscope writer- no, I'm taking 'You Are A Taurus, Here Are Your Qualities That You Have Forgotten You Ever Had, You Are An Amazing Star And You Will Shine, But First Eat Some Chocolate Mousse And Take Off That Lump-Suit Please' kind of horoscope.
Like that feeling when you read something and want to scream YES!!!! while wishing that exclamation marks were real and could be used to place neatly atop the head so everyone around you knew that something amazingly significant was happening to you. They could clap. You would receive little 'Well Done!'s and 'So glad you are having this time!'s, and maybe even 'Here's a chocolate heart and a daffodil to reward your efforts of life so far's... Who would deny me my rightful place in the limelight?
So then, naturally, I did the gulp, spill, wipe, fuck my life kind of manovure because I really hate when water dribbles down my chin and neck. It's the worst feeling, like wet hair on the back of the neck after a shower or after someone has squirted you a thousand times with a super soaker. It might have been fun at the time, but the feeling of being half dry is like stepping in a small water spot on the floor so you must change the sock due to the icky wet patch.
God damn that icky wet patch. God damn all the icky wet patches, you will get yours. One day.
And so! I did the gulping spillage dramatics because I had this revelation of life goals and the realisation that everything revolves around the planets. I must become one with the solar system, the star signs, the gardening by the moon, bathing naked in the ocean, meditation to mother earth and the sun god the moon god the harvest god, I must bake natural bread from scratch, make pasta and apple pies from scratch, have a sugar bowl and a heavy cooker pot for stews. I have never in my life cooked a stew. Fuck I'm hungry. Like motherfucking starving.
I found a wrapped half of a cheese block in the back of my fridge today and my first thought was 'FUCK, more cheese', which is blaspheme I know! Believe me, I know how religious the cheese experience can be, and I must atone for my sinful thinking ways, but, like, come on. I don't need more of a product I already have, unless it's yoghurt. I am SO SICK OF CHEESE.
*Praying in the corner with rosary beads and a bible and a cross and whatever else is used to banish ungodly behaviour.
Okay!
So Another Thing to add to my above list is:
~ Read atrocious stories of how vile and cruel humans can be to each other. If I have to read ONE MORE story on child rape, or torture, or pimping out a daughter for money, or forcing animals to live in painful and cold conditions, or unjust murder, or drunk driving death tolls, or hear the word victims, I will start smashing things with a mallet the size of my head and I will take my rage and the injustice of all that is in this world with me as I walk the streets for hours, for days, for MONTHS, until I find every single person who has ever committed or has thought, is thinking, will think, about a crime and I will unleash my fury like a hellish tornado.
CAN WE ALL just live and let live, and not fucking evil up the world with unnecessary filth? Like, seriously, WHY is that SO HARD?? I cannot understand.
I repeat the phrase: 'trust in the process, have faith in the journey' but I have long ago abandoned the thought of God and every time I catch a snippet of news anywhere, it weakens my faith in humanity and my own purpose in this world. I understand there are good people, too. I try and understand that there needs to be darkness so there can be light, and about balance, and harmony of all things, but at the moment I find sleeping hard because there is no greater burden than being alone with your unresolved horrid thoughts, and the constant flash of articles and images racing though your mind.
A lot of these stories are found on Pinterest and Facebook! I haven't watched the news for about five years now and I actually feel better for it. I see it at work or at somebody's house occasionally, I hear about the important things like natural disasters and electricity prices etc, but I have yet to actually finish up a week's worth of news-watching and skip gaily down my street in a short skirt and tank top at midnight and feel completely safe, and not as if I was about to either get raped, kidnapped, shot at, attacked by clowns, run down by a car- either a drunk or on purpose out of road-rage- mugged, insulted, and etc. And I live in a fairly decent area.
~ 💖 ~
We must move forwards with love in our hearts, courage in our situation, faith in ourselves, and peace in every moment. We must look for these things because they may not be within us! I have shied away from the ugly things in life even though I know I must look them in the face and say 'I acknowledge you and I am ready to do this fight, no matter how hard'. Once I have accepted that I am not responsible for these atrocities, I can gather myself and spread love where ever I go, I can be kind and helpful and a good human so that if I should encounter a grueling time myself, I can move through it and hopefully out the other side with strength and bravery. The media wants us to be scared as a means of control, and I REFUSE.
(It's the Mercury, I tell you. The Mercury.)
Ok! Now that's out of the way, I can declare once again that it has been a No Spend day in the Cerri residence!! #Lifegoals!
I was supposed to cook rice or pasta today, but after work I ended up watching Snatched (Ha! The irony!), which was actually surprisingly hilarious. Then I plugged myself into the World Wide Web for about five hours before remembering I had plans to finish knitting my beanie, which I will now have to do tomorrow. I am almost up to the 'decrease' part and feeling pretty darn good about myself right now ^__^. Even though it's too long because apparently I can't measure 4 inches so have consequently done too many rows, but what the hey! I will wear it nonetheless.
Waiting patiently for Thursday, when I can finally have the 19.20 (or just actually go to the shops with money) for my grocery trip. I know I said Evanesco! to the above budget because it was 'bloody rubbish!' (and it was), but I really like waiting until payday to do my shopping and I spent some random money last week on non-essential items so I feel it's only fair.
Au Revoir!
☼Stay strong! ☼Eat cake! ☼Take a nap! ☼Play the fiddle!
Monday 18 September 2017
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Day 18
This afternoon I waved at The Girl and I experienced a feeling like that of extreme contentment mingled with intense excitement. You know, the kind of excitement that makes you want to jump off a building.
Also,
There is a lot of 80s rock songs in my life at the moment, maybe because I keep listening to the Greatest Hits of Eighties Rock playlist, but who's to say? The 80s is when it was all happening.
I am especially fond of the slim-waist outfits and cheap coffee in cafe movie scenes, and how everyone seemed to be smoking while wearing denim jackets or chewing gum.
Well, today has been another no-spend day! Excitement! Commitment! All the words that end in '-ment' and relate to achieving a goal!
Astonishment!
Ok, but really, it has been a splendiferous day. I worked in this cloud of slow yet steady production where everything got done in a quick manner and I believe it has something to do with how slow the clocks were going.
I don't call myself a Timelord, but I feel like I was the master of time today.
UPDATE ON MY FOOD SITUATION.
Hello.
So today I have eaten all my meals from a bread base, which is to say: Today I have eaten nothing but bread and a Chicken Kiev.
Thank you and good night.
Things that make me want to eat ALL of my chocolate chips for baking:
~ Being shit tired even though I am suddenly now a calm Zen Timelord (you WOULD THINK, wouldn't you, that I could freeze time and take a nap, since being a Timelord grants me certain powers over the ever-ticking clock. But this is a grave misunderstanding on everyone's parts and I am currently filling out an application to resign)
~ Being tired af
~ Oh! I've already said tired!! Ahahahahaha, what a dill pickle! GO TO BED YOU ELONGATED, SMELLY CUCUMBER
~ Because, for some reason, my closest friend (who really hasn't been my closest friend for a long time now, ever since she forgot my birthday for the third year in a row (and that was exactly one year ago, so in all actuality, she's missed four and it hurts like a mofo)) decides to ignore me when I'm angry at her and therefore visits my house to see the other person living in it and ignores me entirely while laughing like a mentally-retarded hyena at everything said. It's mean and unnecessary. We are adults and therefore if someone is angry at you, ESPECIALLY a friend or family member, you find out why, you work it out, you apologise, and you act like a fucking mature adult.
Now I realise that age does not equal maturity. I have been let down and constantly hurt by this friend for a long time, so even though I should have expected nothing more and known better, it just shows her character as a human being and makes the despair I feel for the world in general grow to higher levels.
~ Because they are there and taste delicious
~ THEY DON'T ACTUALLY TASTE DELICIOUS. THIS IS A LIE, JUST LIKE THE CAKE, AND WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD LOSER, HAVE A LEMON.
My Delectable Dinner
Due to my ability to be as weird and sporadic as humanly possible, I decided to cut off the bits of mould on my bread and toast them with sardines. I then realised that I had about half of each toast in the toaster, so when they pooped they didn't pop up the whole way, so I then had to do what every good parent warns their young'n not to do, and that was stick a knife in the toaster to lever the toast out. All in all, I feel pretty good about my bits of toast with sardines for my evening meal. Also, HOW FREAKIN GOOD IS IT TO DRINK COFFEE AT 7PM?
Let's see if I can remember the food I consumed for the past week
Well.
Today was bread in all it's glory.
Yesterday I ran out of my beloved cold porridge with yoghurt and cinnamon, which I have been eating for the past week and it has been sublime, subjected to bouts of spillage, and subconsciously fantasised about in various locations without my consent.
Saturday I ate porridge for breakfast, a cheese sandwich and banana for mid-morning snack, some biscuits for lunch, spaghetti bolognnaise for afternoon snack, and toast for dinner.
Friday I had porridge for breakfast, vegemite sandwich for lunch, spaghetti for afternoon snack and probably eggs for dinner as I can't remember back that far.
Sometimes food served at work can be eaten, which is nice but not guaranteed.
I have never been one to cook. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes and sit in the corner of the lounge room as a human pin cushion, should anyone feel the urge to start sewing by hand or, indeed, require a lot of needles to be safely secured in one very obvious place. But I'm getting better at actually preparing and doing the cooking required to not eat bread and eggs for every meal. Go me! ^_^
I don't feel enough discontentment at having a half-painted gnome on my shelf.
Halfway through the challenge now!
It's all uphill! Take off your hiking boots, you will not be needing them. Instead, slide into your rollerblades, or your rollerskates, or step onto your skateboard, scooter, or lounge on your manually-made armchair on wheels, and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiide on down to your eight hours of sleep*!
*Not guaranteed for users who hold pinterest accounts or spend their time staring at blank walls.
...some day love will find you, break those chains that bind you...
This afternoon I waved at The Girl and I experienced a feeling like that of extreme contentment mingled with intense excitement. You know, the kind of excitement that makes you want to jump off a building.
Also,
There is a lot of 80s rock songs in my life at the moment, maybe because I keep listening to the Greatest Hits of Eighties Rock playlist, but who's to say? The 80s is when it was all happening.
I am especially fond of the slim-waist outfits and cheap coffee in cafe movie scenes, and how everyone seemed to be smoking while wearing denim jackets or chewing gum.
Well, today has been another no-spend day! Excitement! Commitment! All the words that end in '-ment' and relate to achieving a goal!
Astonishment!
Ok, but really, it has been a splendiferous day. I worked in this cloud of slow yet steady production where everything got done in a quick manner and I believe it has something to do with how slow the clocks were going.
I don't call myself a Timelord, but I feel like I was the master of time today.
UPDATE ON MY FOOD SITUATION.
Hello.
So today I have eaten all my meals from a bread base, which is to say: Today I have eaten nothing but bread and a Chicken Kiev.
Thank you and good night.
Things that make me want to eat ALL of my chocolate chips for baking:
~ Being shit tired even though I am suddenly now a calm Zen Timelord (you WOULD THINK, wouldn't you, that I could freeze time and take a nap, since being a Timelord grants me certain powers over the ever-ticking clock. But this is a grave misunderstanding on everyone's parts and I am currently filling out an application to resign)
~ Being tired af
~ Oh! I've already said tired!! Ahahahahaha, what a dill pickle! GO TO BED YOU ELONGATED, SMELLY CUCUMBER
~ Because, for some reason, my closest friend (who really hasn't been my closest friend for a long time now, ever since she forgot my birthday for the third year in a row (and that was exactly one year ago, so in all actuality, she's missed four and it hurts like a mofo)) decides to ignore me when I'm angry at her and therefore visits my house to see the other person living in it and ignores me entirely while laughing like a mentally-retarded hyena at everything said. It's mean and unnecessary. We are adults and therefore if someone is angry at you, ESPECIALLY a friend or family member, you find out why, you work it out, you apologise, and you act like a fucking mature adult.
Now I realise that age does not equal maturity. I have been let down and constantly hurt by this friend for a long time, so even though I should have expected nothing more and known better, it just shows her character as a human being and makes the despair I feel for the world in general grow to higher levels.
~ Because they are there and taste delicious
~ THEY DON'T ACTUALLY TASTE DELICIOUS. THIS IS A LIE, JUST LIKE THE CAKE, AND WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD LOSER, HAVE A LEMON.
My Delectable Dinner
Due to my ability to be as weird and sporadic as humanly possible, I decided to cut off the bits of mould on my bread and toast them with sardines. I then realised that I had about half of each toast in the toaster, so when they pooped they didn't pop up the whole way, so I then had to do what every good parent warns their young'n not to do, and that was stick a knife in the toaster to lever the toast out. All in all, I feel pretty good about my bits of toast with sardines for my evening meal. Also, HOW FREAKIN GOOD IS IT TO DRINK COFFEE AT 7PM?
Let's see if I can remember the food I consumed for the past week
Well.
Today was bread in all it's glory.
Yesterday I ran out of my beloved cold porridge with yoghurt and cinnamon, which I have been eating for the past week and it has been sublime, subjected to bouts of spillage, and subconsciously fantasised about in various locations without my consent.
Saturday I ate porridge for breakfast, a cheese sandwich and banana for mid-morning snack, some biscuits for lunch, spaghetti bolognnaise for afternoon snack, and toast for dinner.
Friday I had porridge for breakfast, vegemite sandwich for lunch, spaghetti for afternoon snack and probably eggs for dinner as I can't remember back that far.
Sometimes food served at work can be eaten, which is nice but not guaranteed.
I have never been one to cook. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes and sit in the corner of the lounge room as a human pin cushion, should anyone feel the urge to start sewing by hand or, indeed, require a lot of needles to be safely secured in one very obvious place. But I'm getting better at actually preparing and doing the cooking required to not eat bread and eggs for every meal. Go me! ^_^
I don't feel enough discontentment at having a half-painted gnome on my shelf.
Halfway through the challenge now!
It's all uphill! Take off your hiking boots, you will not be needing them. Instead, slide into your rollerblades, or your rollerskates, or step onto your skateboard, scooter, or lounge on your manually-made armchair on wheels, and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiide on down to your eight hours of sleep*!
*Not guaranteed for users who hold pinterest accounts or spend their time staring at blank walls.
...some day love will find you, break those chains that bind you...
Sunday 17 September 2017
Is sleeping on the job required?
Day 16 & 17
Another two successful two days of no spending!
I admit.. I went to buy petrol today at 30, and I was thinking 'Ehhhh, my day has been kind of stressful with the lack of sleep once again, the hot porridge all over my pants and work shirt and work shoe and other furniture just standing all innocent-like in the immediate vicinity, and, you know, it's such a lovely sunny day and I've said yes to another double shift and I'm so freaking tired... I deserve an ice cream...'
But when I got to the service station and filled up on the ol oil I realised I didn't really want one. I thought 'If I still want one, I'll get one after work.'
And after work all I really wanted was twenty litres of water and a nine hour nap.
I GOT THE GIRLS NAME.
Alright! Some crossing out of the food list time.
Food in my freezer:
23x frozen meals
02x soup
1x ice cream container of soup
1x tub of actual ice cream
1x half packet of berries
1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
1x custard and carrot cake
2x containers of frozen watermelon chopped up
Food in my fridge:
1xhalf quarter carton of milk
one quarter of a block of cheese
1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
2x bottles of food colouring
1x half a can of sardines
1x Connoisseur mousse
1x container of watermelon chopped up
Food in pantry:
1x half container of oats
1x whole bag unopened of brown rice
1x can of spicy tuna
1x can of kippers (god knows what they are, but I guess I'll find out!)
1x bottle half of olive oil
1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
2x jars of spring water tuna
1x half a jar of forest berry jam
2x cloves of garlic
And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
1x can of corn Kernels
Food in basket:
2x onions that have been there for about two weeks
2x bananas
Any random food items that weren't on the food list last time and now are even though not mentioned in my daily 'spend tracker' is because someone else bought them for me, such as my nanna when I took her shopping the other day. Now as we ALL know I completely love the grocery shop way, and I would have been perfectly content to wander the aisles and point things things out to her in a jolly tone- damn I think I have indigestion. But she was all, 'did you want anything? Here, buy something too, Cerri...' And so I thought 'Fuck It' and gaily put in things that were cheap.
I HAVE ABANDONED ALL 19.20 BUDGET.
IT WAS RIDICULOUS, BUT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ENTIRELY DOABLE, I just feel much better by spending as little, or as no, money as I can, with the intention to aim for 19.20 but brushing right by it if need be. Or if M&Ms are on sale.
I have a secret: I am very afraid to try the kippers in my cupboard.
Things I gaily put in the trolley:
~ Watermelon
~ can of corn kernels
~ choc chip cookies (I was actually persuaded and they are SO YUM)
~ choc chips for baking (ALSO YUM)
~ two connoisseur mousse tubs that I was going to share with nanna but she refused
~ cheap bread
~ three bananas
I plan to cook with pasta and etc above sometime this week so I'll put the corn in too.
Actually, visually looking at a list of everything in my cupboards really helps with the food knowledge. Like, I just discovered, right now, that I have spring water tuna! What good fortune! What sheer luck and a turn of the tables!
It's all coming up Cerri!
(Alright, tone the cheer down guys. It's not that great.)
('Guys'?) (Who's she talking to?)
(Beats me, I'm just her inner conscience) (No, I'm her inner conscience)
(You're her subtle change in character. She needs you when-) (Now don't go taking over me! I was here first! I'm the oldest and wisest and as-)
(Actually guys... I was here first...)
(Who are you?( )Who are you?)
(Um, I-)
(MUST you talk over me?) (Oh! EXCUSE ME for interacting with something else! Far be it-)
(Interacting and displaying a rudeness of character are two different things, WHICH you would know had yo-)
(I'll have you know that I went to the finest school is ALL OF BRITAIN!)
(You mean you went to Allard's Y-)
(Uh, guys...?)
Up next with Cerri! Basket weaving for Beginners! Do you love to weave but have never gotten past the first part of weaving? Delay no more! Here at Weavsalot, we have all your weaving supplies covered, from your baskets to your special weaving glue, from your strips of the good stuff to the sharpest scissors two dollars can buy. Don't believe us? Come shop at Weavus! Where your weaving matters.
💝
Holy fuck it's so fantastic... playing ukulele
Another two successful two days of no spending!
I admit.. I went to buy petrol today at 30, and I was thinking 'Ehhhh, my day has been kind of stressful with the lack of sleep once again, the hot porridge all over my pants and work shirt and work shoe and other furniture just standing all innocent-like in the immediate vicinity, and, you know, it's such a lovely sunny day and I've said yes to another double shift and I'm so freaking tired... I deserve an ice cream...'
But when I got to the service station and filled up on the ol oil I realised I didn't really want one. I thought 'If I still want one, I'll get one after work.'
And after work all I really wanted was twenty litres of water and a nine hour nap.
I GOT THE GIRLS NAME.
Alright! Some crossing out of the food list time.
Food in my freezer:
2
0
1x ice cream container of soup
1x tub of actual ice cream
1x half packet of berries
1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
1x custard and carrot cake
2x containers of frozen watermelon chopped up
Food in my fridge:
1x
one quarter of a block of cheese
1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
2x bottles of food colouring
1x half a can of sardines
1x Connoisseur mousse
1x container of watermelon chopped up
Food in pantry:
1x half container of oats
1x whole bag unopened of brown rice
1x can of kippers (god knows what they are, but I guess I'll find out!)
1x bottle half of olive oil
1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
2x jars of spring water tuna
1x half a jar of forest berry jam
2x cloves of garlic
And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
1x can of corn Kernels
Food in basket:
2x onions that have been there for about two weeks
2x bananas
Any random food items that weren't on the food list last time and now are even though not mentioned in my daily 'spend tracker' is because someone else bought them for me, such as my nanna when I took her shopping the other day. Now as we ALL know I completely love the grocery shop way, and I would have been perfectly content to wander the aisles and point things things out to her in a jolly tone- damn I think I have indigestion. But she was all, 'did you want anything? Here, buy something too, Cerri...' And so I thought 'Fuck It' and gaily put in things that were cheap.
I HAVE ABANDONED ALL 19.20 BUDGET.
IT WAS RIDICULOUS, BUT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ENTIRELY DOABLE, I just feel much better by spending as little, or as no, money as I can, with the intention to aim for 19.20 but brushing right by it if need be. Or if M&Ms are on sale.
I have a secret: I am very afraid to try the kippers in my cupboard.
Things I gaily put in the trolley:
~ Watermelon
~ can of corn kernels
~ choc chip cookies (I was actually persuaded and they are SO YUM)
~ choc chips for baking (ALSO YUM)
~ two connoisseur mousse tubs that I was going to share with nanna but she refused
~ cheap bread
~ three bananas
I plan to cook with pasta and etc above sometime this week so I'll put the corn in too.
Actually, visually looking at a list of everything in my cupboards really helps with the food knowledge. Like, I just discovered, right now, that I have spring water tuna! What good fortune! What sheer luck and a turn of the tables!
It's all coming up Cerri!
(Alright, tone the cheer down guys. It's not that great.)
('Guys'?) (Who's she talking to?)
(Beats me, I'm just her inner conscience) (No, I'm her inner conscience)
(You're her subtle change in character. She needs you when-) (Now don't go taking over me! I was here first! I'm the oldest and wisest and as-)
(Actually guys... I was here first...)
(Who are you?( )Who are you?)
(Um, I-)
(MUST you talk over me?) (Oh! EXCUSE ME for interacting with something else! Far be it-)
(Interacting and displaying a rudeness of character are two different things, WHICH you would know had yo-)
(I'll have you know that I went to the finest school is ALL OF BRITAIN!)
(You mean you went to Allard's Y-)
(Uh, guys...?)
Up next with Cerri! Basket weaving for Beginners! Do you love to weave but have never gotten past the first part of weaving? Delay no more! Here at Weavsalot, we have all your weaving supplies covered, from your baskets to your special weaving glue, from your strips of the good stuff to the sharpest scissors two dollars can buy. Don't believe us? Come shop at Weavus! Where your weaving matters.
💝
Holy fuck it's so fantastic... playing ukulele
Friday 15 September 2017
Are we only just arriving?
Day 14 & 15
I am as serious as I can get when I say in a hushed and somber voice... 'I have had eye pain, all day.'
Yes! All day!
In other news, yesterday I lounged in my warm bed all day, yes! All day! All of the The Day, which was basically and honestly a good 12 hours of my existence wiped out with nothing to show for it.
Is my soul rested? Am I emerging from my hibernation under a large wet leaf and leaping into the drudgery that is work as an entirely New Human? Do I feel energised? Content? Or even a mild sense of satisfaction due to feet that are not throbbing anymore?
Who's to say! I sludged all day and then I slept, woke up with a start this morning and d r a g g e d myself out of bed all dreary-eyed but happy because I smelled like my vanilla body-wash.
My no-spend companion gave me that body-wash when I declared my shower woes with the running out of the essential gel that washes the body and the shampoo that does whatever it does to the hair to ensure the maximum ONE DAY of soft and shine before fading away and leaving behind a wilting, lifeless, oily clump.
I said, 'SHIT, I'm almost out of body wash.'
And my friend said, 'HERE, use this. It's almost full, too.'
What a leg.
Yesterday I spent 5.49 on the SHITTEST peanut butter that I have ever tasted, and it's the largest of it's kind because it worked out cheaper. I went into the supermarket to purchase butter... and, like... some hardass chocolate cake. Like, with whopping great chocolate cream, and the actual white whipped cream, and the chocolate sponge and the eating with all of my face because I have ALWAYS WANTED to smash my head into cake.
Why I have been denied this amazing pastime I will never know.
I almost cried when I took the second bite of my peanut butter toast because all I could think of was: 'WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME LIKE THIS? YOU UNFAITHFUL LIFE-LONG FRIEND.'
But I have the jar now due to my spend nothing and also, while you're at it, spend as little as you can on actual essential items, or better yet, just don't eat at all. It's not the goal here, but I seem to be eating less and less.
Anyway. The butter worked out to be 1.99. I felt mixed about this butter. On the one hand, I wanted a cheap butter that I could SPREAD instead of putting it atop the toaster just to soften it's stone-cold heart, but on the other hand I really wanted the cheap satisfaction of paying almost nothing for a solid product.
Now, butter was my decoy (sorry butter! I didn't want you to hear this from me, but it's true! I never actually intended to buy you, you were an accident, and even though I planned you halfway through my supermarket time, I actually regret buying you and associate you with that god-awful peanut butter every time I open your lid), or better yet, it was the thing I was pretending to get when my real target was any chocolate cake and cream I could find, and fast.
HOWEVER.
I felt bad feelings every time I considered buying anything chocolatey, and the more I stood in front of chocolatey things the less I wanted them.
This is the trick.
Or is it?
Today I had an interaction with The Girl.
I sat down, for some reason, all squished up to the couch armrest.
I said: 'Oh! What movie is this?'
She said: 'I don't know! Want a smoke?'
I agreed.
We smoked for 9 minutes.
I said: 'What are these?'
She said: 'I found them in the Lederhosen.'
'No way!'
'Yes!'
We squealed. Lederhosen? Why, that was simply unheard of!
'Since when do they have pockets, eh?' I asked while scratching my chin.
She shrugged and I immediately thought of mermaids. 'Bernaard brought them in but I haven't seen any like this. I felt them and that's when my hands felt the hard lump.'
I nodded.
'I thought it was probably a pack of cards.'
'Well, that would be appropriate.'
She sat up straighter. 'Do you want to buy a rum?'
'Oh yes, that sounds nice.'
We stood up at the same time and I marveled at the fact that she was almost the same height as me.
'I think afternoon is the perfect time for a drink,' she said with a knowing look. 'But only one. Rum is my favourite.'
'Mine too!' I assured her, even though it actually wasn't.
'Alright.'
And at the end I still hadn't gotten her name.
~If any of this makes the least bit of sense it is because I am, once again, running on 4 hours of sleep.
ShoutOut to the people doing life on less than 5 hours of shuteye.
I am as serious as I can get when I say in a hushed and somber voice... 'I have had eye pain, all day.'
Yes! All day!
In other news, yesterday I lounged in my warm bed all day, yes! All day! All of the The Day, which was basically and honestly a good 12 hours of my existence wiped out with nothing to show for it.
Is my soul rested? Am I emerging from my hibernation under a large wet leaf and leaping into the drudgery that is work as an entirely New Human? Do I feel energised? Content? Or even a mild sense of satisfaction due to feet that are not throbbing anymore?
Who's to say! I sludged all day and then I slept, woke up with a start this morning and d r a g g e d myself out of bed all dreary-eyed but happy because I smelled like my vanilla body-wash.
My no-spend companion gave me that body-wash when I declared my shower woes with the running out of the essential gel that washes the body and the shampoo that does whatever it does to the hair to ensure the maximum ONE DAY of soft and shine before fading away and leaving behind a wilting, lifeless, oily clump.
I said, 'SHIT, I'm almost out of body wash.'
And my friend said, 'HERE, use this. It's almost full, too.'
What a leg.
Yesterday I spent 5.49 on the SHITTEST peanut butter that I have ever tasted, and it's the largest of it's kind because it worked out cheaper. I went into the supermarket to purchase butter... and, like... some hardass chocolate cake. Like, with whopping great chocolate cream, and the actual white whipped cream, and the chocolate sponge and the eating with all of my face because I have ALWAYS WANTED to smash my head into cake.
Why I have been denied this amazing pastime I will never know.
I almost cried when I took the second bite of my peanut butter toast because all I could think of was: 'WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME LIKE THIS? YOU UNFAITHFUL LIFE-LONG FRIEND.'
But I have the jar now due to my spend nothing and also, while you're at it, spend as little as you can on actual essential items, or better yet, just don't eat at all. It's not the goal here, but I seem to be eating less and less.
Anyway. The butter worked out to be 1.99. I felt mixed about this butter. On the one hand, I wanted a cheap butter that I could SPREAD instead of putting it atop the toaster just to soften it's stone-cold heart, but on the other hand I really wanted the cheap satisfaction of paying almost nothing for a solid product.
Now, butter was my decoy (sorry butter! I didn't want you to hear this from me, but it's true! I never actually intended to buy you, you were an accident, and even though I planned you halfway through my supermarket time, I actually regret buying you and associate you with that god-awful peanut butter every time I open your lid), or better yet, it was the thing I was pretending to get when my real target was any chocolate cake and cream I could find, and fast.
HOWEVER.
I felt bad feelings every time I considered buying anything chocolatey, and the more I stood in front of chocolatey things the less I wanted them.
This is the trick.
Or is it?
Today I had an interaction with The Girl.
I sat down, for some reason, all squished up to the couch armrest.
I said: 'Oh! What movie is this?'
She said: 'I don't know! Want a smoke?'
I agreed.
We smoked for 9 minutes.
I said: 'What are these?'
She said: 'I found them in the Lederhosen.'
'No way!'
'Yes!'
We squealed. Lederhosen? Why, that was simply unheard of!
'Since when do they have pockets, eh?' I asked while scratching my chin.
She shrugged and I immediately thought of mermaids. 'Bernaard brought them in but I haven't seen any like this. I felt them and that's when my hands felt the hard lump.'
I nodded.
'I thought it was probably a pack of cards.'
'Well, that would be appropriate.'
She sat up straighter. 'Do you want to buy a rum?'
'Oh yes, that sounds nice.'
We stood up at the same time and I marveled at the fact that she was almost the same height as me.
'I think afternoon is the perfect time for a drink,' she said with a knowing look. 'But only one. Rum is my favourite.'
'Mine too!' I assured her, even though it actually wasn't.
'Alright.'
And at the end I still hadn't gotten her name.
~If any of this makes the least bit of sense it is because I am, once again, running on 4 hours of sleep.
ShoutOut to the people doing life on less than 5 hours of shuteye.
Wednesday 13 September 2017
How many chickens in your pen?
Day 13
My attention span is slipping! Just like with a four-year degree, I just don't have the determination when it comes to resisting cheezels, you sexy, cheesy, mother of God in food formation.
There are too many of them and not enough hours in the day to consume.
As such,
My recent shopping list looks like this:
~ Smiths thinly teriyaki chicken chips 1.99
~ Cheezels 1.49
~ Wholemeal bread 700gm 1.79
TOTAL: 5.27
What was that? You're taking part in a no spend challenge? Delightful! Positively astronomical! Pull up one of those fraying pouffes and tell me all about how well it's going...
Ok, enough with the sarcasm.
But like,
What better way to spend a hard-earned day off than lounging around with snacks and all the bread you could ever want?
To make matters fair, I did clean a lot- bloody massive amounts of cleaning happened here today- and I did pause in between tasks to drink coffee and search the web and bask in my general brilliance, so it was a win-win however you look at it. Just don't look too hard. In fact, skim over this entire blog entry and move on to tomorrows, which I'm sure will be much more entertaining and factual.
Things I noticed today:
* The supermarket is suddenly really loud. It's like stepping out of my life as a tv show and right into a commercial break.
* If you run fast enough, you can beat the rain.
* I'm very good at playing the 'What If' game. Such as: what if another spider is sitting in the bottom of my coffee cup? Resulting in me throwing out the leftovers of that coffee and making a new one. You just never know when a bug will actually, in all reality, climb, fall, fly, or jump, into your drink that is one hundred per cent NOT see through.
* A lot of people live in a lot of weirdly-designed houses and I wholeheartedly support this.
* Bed is THE BEST place to be holy chrime is that a mouse I hear?
ARE THEY IN THE WALLS NOW?
CAN THEY EVEN GET IN?
DOES PEPPERMINT OIL REALLY NOT WORK AS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING FOR A MOUSE TO SMELL EVER, AND IF SO, WHY DO I HAVE EIGHTEEN BOTTLES OF IT SITTING OUT ON THE DECK?
Things I did that made me happy and improved my general well-being:
* Tidied the house
* Arranged candles and crystals in the bathroom to give the room a positive vibe and promote healing
* Moisturised my hands with lavender cream twice
* Stayed in bed the Whole Day
* Read
* Searched the web and laughed, learned, frowned, cringed, laughed again, and so on
* Threw out all the old food in my fridge
* Drank 9 glasses of water. I am not joking. This shit is gold. And I'm talking about the real deal tap water, unless your tap water is contaminated or tastes revolting, just drink the tap. You will feel your cells literally rejuvenate there and then.
I don't feel too bad for spending money today. I thought I would feel shit as a chipped brick, and I kind of did while walking down the aisles looking for the cheesy wonder because I knew I was doing something wrong. But, like, was it wrong? In the terms of 'spend nothing but essential grocery', it was kind of wrong because chips are neither essential nor nutritious. However, I experienced that feel-good feeling when I ate them while doing my usual scroll through real-estate and pinterest, and life is short people! Get the feeling! All the YOLO! All the chocolate pudding!
Amen.
May peace be with you!
Tuesday 12 September 2017
Where can I find a good reusable can?
Day 12
I wonder what it's actually like to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and 'with it', instead of groggy, hungover, prone to bumping into walls, and in DESPERATE need of a coffee. Maybe two.
Another day of spending nothing! Woohoo! I am kicking this challenges butt! (But in the nice, comical way. I do not encourage the kicking of any butts belonging to a challenge because they can't help what they are. They turn up on our doorstep all pristine, sparkling, neat and new, smiling, turned to a slight degree to show off their fit-as-fuck figure, ready to help us get our game on, and we should welcome them with open arms and something sweet like a Mars Bar. Or MilkyWay. I don't believe MilkyWay gets enough credit for the deliciously confusing chocolate that they are.)
And so! It really helps the no spending thing when you're tired as shit.
Like, I could not get one ounce of strength or summon up one quarter of a care to stop in and buy a chocolate cake from the shops on the way home after work.
It also helps that I only kind of felt like chocolate cake.
I came home, set myself up with my paper workings out of my next project and promptly fell asleep sitting upright, thinking dreamily about Peter and yellow minions carrying oranges around like Walkie Talkies.
Holy crap is that rain? Did I wind my car window up? WHY DO I NEVER WIND MY WINDOW UP? AM I IN SOME KIND OF FANTASY LAND WHERE I ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL DO EVERYTHING I PLAN TO DO? DO I KNOW MYSELF AT ALL??
..
Oh my god I am amazing. I can't for the life of me remember winding up the window but it happened and even though I must have done it to save future me the bother, future me still had to bother with running out in the rainy dark night to check anyway, so that's a lesson for you.
One good thing about this challenge is it is literally making me question why I want junk food. I didn't believe that would ever be the case. I mean, junk food is awesome. It's delicious, mostly cheap, fills that hole and satisfies like no other.
With that being the case, it's a confusing time for my worn out brain when I start asking pointless questions such as: 'Are you trying to comfort yourself with this chocolate bar?' 'Are you really having such a bad day/time/life?' and 'Didn't you just have something junky yesterday, or even, this week?'
GET A GRIP GIRL.
I never took much notice of how much junk I eat. Like, no wonder I feel tired all the time. I can only imagine the work my insides are going through. All my poor over-burdened organs and cells, wearing hazard protection gear, staring with glazed eyes, floating with apathy and wearily going about their daily functions, and every time I eat a heavily sugary processed item they all sigh in unison, possibly groan in despair. Or just gaze unseeing and uncaring into the pit of doom. The pancreas and intestines all call out lazily 'Anotherrrrrrrr ooooonnnnne incommmiiiiiiiiiiing'.
Frick.
What have I done?
On a more interesting note, I read somewhere that each chocolate bar contains at LEAST seven insects legs. Or just whole insects.
I had my suspicions ever since reading about how red desserts like yoghurt, icecream, food colouring, etc, is made out of crushed up Cochineal beetles, and then I went on thinking about a lot of the food manufacturing theories, the abuse, the factories, and how everyone is trying to save a dollar, do the dirty, cut corners, forget and move on, and I thought that something along these lines could be happening to pretty much ALL of the food we eat.
Still, I really love cake.
💖
OMG WAIT.
I MET THAT GIRL AGAIN.
THE ONE WITH THE HAIR AND THE IMPOSSIBLE SMELL AND THE EYE GAZING and she really wasn't up close what she appeared to be at a distance.
However, upon realising her existence once again I was overcome, overcome people, with this giddy feeling like the one reserved for being near a crush, or winning a million dollars, or finding a single wrapped chocolate Oreo cookie in the car.
And I will say that I had a short but meaningful conversation with her that left me skipping down the hall with a bigass smile on my face.
It was:
Magical girl of heavenly bliss: 'Oh, is that Mrs Rubenstein's tray?'
Me: 'No this is Mr Harb's tray.'
Girl: 'Oh Ok!'
I walk off. My mind screams 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CALL THAT INTERACTION? GET BACK THERE AND ACTUALLY GET RUBENSTEINS TRAY.'
I stop and turn, then remember I already have a tray, turn back and take a step, stop, turn, and so on.
When I finally return back to where she is two hours later, I ask from seven hundred miles down the hall in overly-eager fashion: 'Did you want Rubenstein's tray?'
'Yes, please, thanks,' HOWEVER I CAN'T REMEMBER IF SHE SAID PLEASE, OR THANKS, I JUST PUT THEM IN THERE BECAUSE ANY GIRL OF THE MAGICAL BLISS IN MY WORLD WOULD HAVE MANNERS AND IMPECCABLE POSTURE. (I have a sneaky suspicion she just said 'Yeah thanks' but one can dream).
I get it all did in a real enthusiastic and bright way, hand her the tray and say 'there you go.'
Girl: 'thanks' BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER IF SHE SAID THANKS OR THANK YOU AND I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE I PREFER SO I CAN'T ALTER THE SCENARIO IN MY HEAD.
And that... was our divine interaction.
Amen.
Literal work of GOD, right there.
I wonder what it's actually like to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and 'with it', instead of groggy, hungover, prone to bumping into walls, and in DESPERATE need of a coffee. Maybe two.
Another day of spending nothing! Woohoo! I am kicking this challenges butt! (But in the nice, comical way. I do not encourage the kicking of any butts belonging to a challenge because they can't help what they are. They turn up on our doorstep all pristine, sparkling, neat and new, smiling, turned to a slight degree to show off their fit-as-fuck figure, ready to help us get our game on, and we should welcome them with open arms and something sweet like a Mars Bar. Or MilkyWay. I don't believe MilkyWay gets enough credit for the deliciously confusing chocolate that they are.)
And so! It really helps the no spending thing when you're tired as shit.
Like, I could not get one ounce of strength or summon up one quarter of a care to stop in and buy a chocolate cake from the shops on the way home after work.
It also helps that I only kind of felt like chocolate cake.
I came home, set myself up with my paper workings out of my next project and promptly fell asleep sitting upright, thinking dreamily about Peter and yellow minions carrying oranges around like Walkie Talkies.
Holy crap is that rain? Did I wind my car window up? WHY DO I NEVER WIND MY WINDOW UP? AM I IN SOME KIND OF FANTASY LAND WHERE I ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL DO EVERYTHING I PLAN TO DO? DO I KNOW MYSELF AT ALL??
..
Oh my god I am amazing. I can't for the life of me remember winding up the window but it happened and even though I must have done it to save future me the bother, future me still had to bother with running out in the rainy dark night to check anyway, so that's a lesson for you.
One good thing about this challenge is it is literally making me question why I want junk food. I didn't believe that would ever be the case. I mean, junk food is awesome. It's delicious, mostly cheap, fills that hole and satisfies like no other.
With that being the case, it's a confusing time for my worn out brain when I start asking pointless questions such as: 'Are you trying to comfort yourself with this chocolate bar?' 'Are you really having such a bad day/time/life?' and 'Didn't you just have something junky yesterday, or even, this week?'
GET A GRIP GIRL.
I never took much notice of how much junk I eat. Like, no wonder I feel tired all the time. I can only imagine the work my insides are going through. All my poor over-burdened organs and cells, wearing hazard protection gear, staring with glazed eyes, floating with apathy and wearily going about their daily functions, and every time I eat a heavily sugary processed item they all sigh in unison, possibly groan in despair. Or just gaze unseeing and uncaring into the pit of doom. The pancreas and intestines all call out lazily 'Anotherrrrrrrr ooooonnnnne incommmiiiiiiiiiiing'.
Frick.
What have I done?
On a more interesting note, I read somewhere that each chocolate bar contains at LEAST seven insects legs. Or just whole insects.
I had my suspicions ever since reading about how red desserts like yoghurt, icecream, food colouring, etc, is made out of crushed up Cochineal beetles, and then I went on thinking about a lot of the food manufacturing theories, the abuse, the factories, and how everyone is trying to save a dollar, do the dirty, cut corners, forget and move on, and I thought that something along these lines could be happening to pretty much ALL of the food we eat.
Still, I really love cake.
💖
OMG WAIT.
I MET THAT GIRL AGAIN.
THE ONE WITH THE HAIR AND THE IMPOSSIBLE SMELL AND THE EYE GAZING and she really wasn't up close what she appeared to be at a distance.
However, upon realising her existence once again I was overcome, overcome people, with this giddy feeling like the one reserved for being near a crush, or winning a million dollars, or finding a single wrapped chocolate Oreo cookie in the car.
And I will say that I had a short but meaningful conversation with her that left me skipping down the hall with a bigass smile on my face.
It was:
Magical girl of heavenly bliss: 'Oh, is that Mrs Rubenstein's tray?'
Me: 'No this is Mr Harb's tray.'
Girl: 'Oh Ok!'
I walk off. My mind screams 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CALL THAT INTERACTION? GET BACK THERE AND ACTUALLY GET RUBENSTEINS TRAY.'
I stop and turn, then remember I already have a tray, turn back and take a step, stop, turn, and so on.
When I finally return back to where she is two hours later, I ask from seven hundred miles down the hall in overly-eager fashion: 'Did you want Rubenstein's tray?'
'Yes, please, thanks,' HOWEVER I CAN'T REMEMBER IF SHE SAID PLEASE, OR THANKS, I JUST PUT THEM IN THERE BECAUSE ANY GIRL OF THE MAGICAL BLISS IN MY WORLD WOULD HAVE MANNERS AND IMPECCABLE POSTURE. (I have a sneaky suspicion she just said 'Yeah thanks' but one can dream).
I get it all did in a real enthusiastic and bright way, hand her the tray and say 'there you go.'
Girl: 'thanks' BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER IF SHE SAID THANKS OR THANK YOU AND I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE I PREFER SO I CAN'T ALTER THE SCENARIO IN MY HEAD.
And that... was our divine interaction.
Amen.
Literal work of GOD, right there.
Monday 11 September 2017
What's worth waiting for when time gives you the slip?
Day 11
So it's taken me a while to realise that, hey, I no longer have to check my last blog post to find out what day I'm on with this challenge! I can just look at the date on my computer screen!
(Yes, I know... how I got this far is a mystery to me, too...)
Consequently I'm now CRAVING for some HJ's onion rings like a mofo... like, zomg, come to my house and feed me millions of these little wonders, thanks!
(But don't really because I just ate dinner). (If you are going to come, just bring a chocolate milkshake). (Double chocolate).
Moving on.
Today I have spent NOTHING. Not a cent, even though I fantasised about packets of cheesy chips while doing my all-time-fave scroll through pinterest. Then I thought: 'why not just make hot marmalade toast?'
And I dropped my bag, kicked off my shoes, made the toast and curled up in bed giggling like a mad school girl.
And literally nothing happened.
I ate the toast, I scrolled, I didn't even think about cheesy chips until a while later when admitting my near-miss to my friend who is also undertaking this whopper of a challenge, and even then, the chips materialised into my mind and then vanished quickly when I found an amusing pin.
Also today, I had eye sex with a girl and it was literally a life-changing moment.
There was a life, and it was changed.
Have you ever seen someone who looks Just Like The Merging of Two People You Know? As if some scientist in a messy lab sat tirelessly every night on his computer, pressing the 'human generator' key like on the Sims, saw a version of a person he liked and yelled "VOILA! THIS ONE!" and upturned all his tables, smashed all his smoking chemical vials, ignored his first ever creation sitting patiently but awkward in a camping chair (Frankenstein) in such haste to create the new perfect human.
And it did happen, because I saw her today and we locked eyes, I looked away, looked back to realise she hadn't looked away the first time and we locked eyes again, then I looked away again, gathered my shit and firmly stared back, because, enough of this bashful nonsense. If some magically looking chick is staring at you from afar, you bloody well stare back at her from afar too, and you make that stare alluring and captivating and you make sure you time your blinks and create an expression of 'I am peacefully in the moment' as well as 'this toasted cheese sandwich is the greatest food I have ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth'.
And I have to say, she looked at me a few more times after that. I had wondered if she was surprised to see such a spritely (is spritely not a word? Ohhh sprightly, well top hats off to you, then...) young chicken in a place of immense old age, or if she recognised me from somewhere else, but those practical thoughts were overridden by the 'YES! IT'S THAT ACTRESS, WHATSERNAME? FROM THAT MOVIE, WHATSITCALLED? FUCK ME WITH A FRYING PAN' thought that repeatedly ran through my mind every time she moved.
And she was so graceful!
And her hair was this amazing dark brown, and looked really shiny and kind of thin, but thin in a good way so it sits nicely in one of those clips so strands don't fall out and make you curse the heavens for such a thick poppycockish blanket of a hairpiece.
Straight after she left, I got into the elevator and there was this beautiful smell that I immediately associated with her, even though it could have belonged to any one of the lovely people in my workplace, but I somehow thought 'nope, it is from the gorgeous maiden of plain features (because she did look astoundingly plain, in the dark-features kind of variety) and so it will ever be'.
Accordingly, the thirty-second elevator ride was one of utter Eastern yen for me.
I did squint at her name badge, but I was too far away, and this has somehow started a Romeo and Juliet scenario because I fear I will never be close enough to hold a conversation, see her flawed skin up close (she must have some flaws and they will be in her skin at some degree), or even catch her name with my fading eyesight.
Am I going blind with lust?
Probably not. I can still see very well, and I am not swaying the way of that just yet.
But, my GOD, what a time.
I came back from my tea run with terribly sore feet and a desperate irked feeling that there were still TWO MORE HOURS left of work even though I was astoundingly exhausted at that very moment so it was only fair to let me off right there and then, to find the dishwasher maintenance man playing around with the dishwasher, and he's also one fine specimen of a man.
But, let's hold up here.
Because he's completely different from the whole trance experience I was put into by that girl above.
This man is probably a few year older than I am, and he is not hot, smokin, sexy, or even that attractive actually, when I put some thought into it. But he has that 'good looking' vibe because he looks like a 'good man'. If that makes sense. (Please say it does. Trying to do the word thing is extremely hard because my eyes keep drooping on account of my refusal to have an after-work nap due to the fact that I'd like to be able to sleep tonight, so my sentence-making ability is kind of all over the place. Like a Doctor Who timeline). Oh my god I'm starving. How is this possible?
I would KILL for a cheeseburger, even though I hate franchised meat.
So this guy is just an all-round nice looking guy. And he comes in every now and then because we have the worst dishwashers around. I can bet maybe twelve dollars that half of my colleagues anxiety is due to whether or not the dishwasher will leak today. WHY ARE ALL THE WORDS SUDDENLY HARD TO SPELL?
I'd like to thank Spell Checker- the times I have relied on you are like no other. Most of my other life experiences and faithful helpers pale in comparison to the enormous effort you put in every day to ensure I am completely understood.
A minutes silence.
I think I just heard a mouse.
So the point is, these people brought my day up to a cloud of sparkly rainbows and, additionally, pulled in some external chaos, too, seeing as how the dishwasher guy kept talking to me while I was doing little things that required my full attention as I was so inebriated with the tireds, resulting in me dropping forks, missing a whole page of checklist signing, knocking into furniture, and replying to him while he was still talking.
And I will always maintain that there is no other than my Peterbae, amen, so seeing that awkward side of me was a good thing. However, there is no harm in basking in the glory that is having a conversation with a nice looking man who wears a hat.
Lord knows how I feel about hats.
All in all, not a bad start to week two of my no spend challenge.
I hope the apathy that I'm starting to feel for this absurd 'no spend' business will dissolve after a good nights sleep (HA! What's that?) and I can focus once more.
Good God I once again have no clean towels. Or, more appropriately, I have no dry towels. I once went out and physically bought a towel from a supermarket so I could have one to use in place of all the damp once.
Such is the life of Winter.
FUCK OFF WINTER, IT'S SPRING ALREADY. LET MY TOWELS DRY AND MY FACE AND RIGHT ARM FINALLY FEEL THE STING OF SUNBURN, THANKS.
Living in the never, I'm not looking to survive,
It's a given that I can't control, (I'd rather run and hide),
attempt to fix my current state? ... I wouldn't even try.
(c)
So it's taken me a while to realise that, hey, I no longer have to check my last blog post to find out what day I'm on with this challenge! I can just look at the date on my computer screen!
(Yes, I know... how I got this far is a mystery to me, too...)
Consequently I'm now CRAVING for some HJ's onion rings like a mofo... like, zomg, come to my house and feed me millions of these little wonders, thanks!
(But don't really because I just ate dinner). (If you are going to come, just bring a chocolate milkshake). (Double chocolate).
Moving on.
Today I have spent NOTHING. Not a cent, even though I fantasised about packets of cheesy chips while doing my all-time-fave scroll through pinterest. Then I thought: 'why not just make hot marmalade toast?'
And I dropped my bag, kicked off my shoes, made the toast and curled up in bed giggling like a mad school girl.
And literally nothing happened.
I ate the toast, I scrolled, I didn't even think about cheesy chips until a while later when admitting my near-miss to my friend who is also undertaking this whopper of a challenge, and even then, the chips materialised into my mind and then vanished quickly when I found an amusing pin.
Also today, I had eye sex with a girl and it was literally a life-changing moment.
There was a life, and it was changed.
Have you ever seen someone who looks Just Like The Merging of Two People You Know? As if some scientist in a messy lab sat tirelessly every night on his computer, pressing the 'human generator' key like on the Sims, saw a version of a person he liked and yelled "VOILA! THIS ONE!" and upturned all his tables, smashed all his smoking chemical vials, ignored his first ever creation sitting patiently but awkward in a camping chair (Frankenstein) in such haste to create the new perfect human.
And it did happen, because I saw her today and we locked eyes, I looked away, looked back to realise she hadn't looked away the first time and we locked eyes again, then I looked away again, gathered my shit and firmly stared back, because, enough of this bashful nonsense. If some magically looking chick is staring at you from afar, you bloody well stare back at her from afar too, and you make that stare alluring and captivating and you make sure you time your blinks and create an expression of 'I am peacefully in the moment' as well as 'this toasted cheese sandwich is the greatest food I have ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth'.
And I have to say, she looked at me a few more times after that. I had wondered if she was surprised to see such a spritely (is spritely not a word? Ohhh sprightly, well top hats off to you, then...) young chicken in a place of immense old age, or if she recognised me from somewhere else, but those practical thoughts were overridden by the 'YES! IT'S THAT ACTRESS, WHATSERNAME? FROM THAT MOVIE, WHATSITCALLED? FUCK ME WITH A FRYING PAN' thought that repeatedly ran through my mind every time she moved.
And she was so graceful!
And her hair was this amazing dark brown, and looked really shiny and kind of thin, but thin in a good way so it sits nicely in one of those clips so strands don't fall out and make you curse the heavens for such a thick poppycockish blanket of a hairpiece.
Straight after she left, I got into the elevator and there was this beautiful smell that I immediately associated with her, even though it could have belonged to any one of the lovely people in my workplace, but I somehow thought 'nope, it is from the gorgeous maiden of plain features (because she did look astoundingly plain, in the dark-features kind of variety) and so it will ever be'.
Accordingly, the thirty-second elevator ride was one of utter Eastern yen for me.
I did squint at her name badge, but I was too far away, and this has somehow started a Romeo and Juliet scenario because I fear I will never be close enough to hold a conversation, see her flawed skin up close (she must have some flaws and they will be in her skin at some degree), or even catch her name with my fading eyesight.
Am I going blind with lust?
Probably not. I can still see very well, and I am not swaying the way of that just yet.
But, my GOD, what a time.
I came back from my tea run with terribly sore feet and a desperate irked feeling that there were still TWO MORE HOURS left of work even though I was astoundingly exhausted at that very moment so it was only fair to let me off right there and then, to find the dishwasher maintenance man playing around with the dishwasher, and he's also one fine specimen of a man.
But, let's hold up here.
Because he's completely different from the whole trance experience I was put into by that girl above.
This man is probably a few year older than I am, and he is not hot, smokin, sexy, or even that attractive actually, when I put some thought into it. But he has that 'good looking' vibe because he looks like a 'good man'. If that makes sense. (Please say it does. Trying to do the word thing is extremely hard because my eyes keep drooping on account of my refusal to have an after-work nap due to the fact that I'd like to be able to sleep tonight, so my sentence-making ability is kind of all over the place. Like a Doctor Who timeline). Oh my god I'm starving. How is this possible?
I would KILL for a cheeseburger, even though I hate franchised meat.
So this guy is just an all-round nice looking guy. And he comes in every now and then because we have the worst dishwashers around. I can bet maybe twelve dollars that half of my colleagues anxiety is due to whether or not the dishwasher will leak today. WHY ARE ALL THE WORDS SUDDENLY HARD TO SPELL?
I'd like to thank Spell Checker- the times I have relied on you are like no other. Most of my other life experiences and faithful helpers pale in comparison to the enormous effort you put in every day to ensure I am completely understood.
A minutes silence.
I think I just heard a mouse.
So the point is, these people brought my day up to a cloud of sparkly rainbows and, additionally, pulled in some external chaos, too, seeing as how the dishwasher guy kept talking to me while I was doing little things that required my full attention as I was so inebriated with the tireds, resulting in me dropping forks, missing a whole page of checklist signing, knocking into furniture, and replying to him while he was still talking.
And I will always maintain that there is no other than my Peterbae, amen, so seeing that awkward side of me was a good thing. However, there is no harm in basking in the glory that is having a conversation with a nice looking man who wears a hat.
Lord knows how I feel about hats.
All in all, not a bad start to week two of my no spend challenge.
I hope the apathy that I'm starting to feel for this absurd 'no spend' business will dissolve after a good nights sleep (HA! What's that?) and I can focus once more.
Good God I once again have no clean towels. Or, more appropriately, I have no dry towels. I once went out and physically bought a towel from a supermarket so I could have one to use in place of all the damp once.
Such is the life of Winter.
FUCK OFF WINTER, IT'S SPRING ALREADY. LET MY TOWELS DRY AND MY FACE AND RIGHT ARM FINALLY FEEL THE STING OF SUNBURN, THANKS.
Living in the never, I'm not looking to survive,
It's a given that I can't control, (I'd rather run and hide),
attempt to fix my current state? ... I wouldn't even try.
(c)
Sunday 10 September 2017
Is that a giant Leprechaun I see?
Day 10
Hello and welcome, to the first week Price Tally.
Pull up a chair, or stool, or fold-out couch, and sit, recline, or sit up stiffly, and let us begin the one thing I absolutely LOVE to do... financially plan with lists!
Expenses paid
Petrol day 1 - 30.00
Petrol day 8 - 30.00
Rent - 275.00
Mortgage - 400.00
Super - 50
Bills - 120
Savings goal - 200
Grocery items bought
Fathers day cake ingredients - 17.38
Womanly things and jatz - 7.20
Instant coffee - 8.00
Womanly things - 2.40
Ice cream - 4.51
2x chocolate bars - 2.00
Bread - 3.49
HJs fries & onion rings - 2.00
Groceries from IGA today
~ Eggs - 1.99
~ Cheese - 4.00
~ Yoghurt #1 - 3.29
~ Yoghurt #2 - 3.50
~ Kettle parmesan chips - 3.85
~ 4 bananas - 2.10
~ Blueberries - 4.99
~ Chocolate milkshake - 3.98
TOTAL: 74.68
Other items bought
SEVENTY FOUR DOLLARS AND SIXTY EIGHT CENTS!!!???
What the dickens.
That's only in one week, on food.
Now, To Be Fair, the groceries bought today are probably not meant to be included due to the fact that I got paid on Thursday and therefore 'started a new week' on Friday.
So take away the groceries today at 27.70 and that leaves me with 46.98 for one week from Friday 1st Sept until Friday 8th Sept.
Have you ever drank a chocolate milkshake really quickly, sniffed your suddenly runny nose, and then had an insanely strong taste of chemicals?
Gross, isn't it?
Anyway, whichever way you look at it, I went over the 19.20 budget in the first few days. YOLO! Screw the rules! Enjoy life!
Yes.
But I managed to save whatever money left in my account for the previous fortnight by not taking it out to buy a big grocery shop. Every time I get the Food Shop Bug I run out and strut on a cloud of bliss through whichever supermarket I pick and grab all the items ever to appeal to me in some way. Then I look at the price when the last item has been scanned and I faint right into my conveniently-placed trolley.
By buying little things over the course of a week and resisting the urge to buy chocolatey snacks when I didn't urgently need them helped me save an accumulated amount at the end of the fortnight, which gave me the choice of putting it into a savings account or spending it. I chose to keep it where it was and at the end of the month I will see just how much is left in there.
I can tell you right now that the amount would have been much lower had I given in all those times.
Pretty proud Cerri!
Now to get set for the next week and a half. The Budget THIS TIME is 40.00 (a fortnight) - 27.70 = 12.30.
Which isn't really all that different from 19.20 a week.
Fuck me.
Due to only sleeping for four hours last night because, of reasons, let's all just clap and smile and gesture in awe at my money saving ways and brilliance beyond measure. How do they measure brilliance? Who knows! I'm so far ahead of it I can't even hear the machine they use to measure things, or produce the little cups with mL on them, or stamp contestants with their proof of entry, or manufacture small hats with the logo 'Cerri Kicks Ass: Beware Of Magnificent Ability' sprawled across the front.
Tootleoo!!
💗
Let our hearts stay untroubled by the atrocity of the world, may we look without judgement for we all hide monsters deep within that sit alongside angels, and to be such makes us human.
Hello and welcome, to the first week Price Tally.
Pull up a chair, or stool, or fold-out couch, and sit, recline, or sit up stiffly, and let us begin the one thing I absolutely LOVE to do... financially plan with lists!
Expenses paid
Petrol day 1 - 30.00
Petrol day 8 - 30.00
Rent - 275.00
Mortgage - 400.00
Super - 50
Bills - 120
Savings goal - 200
Grocery items bought
Fathers day cake ingredients - 17.38
Womanly things and jatz - 7.20
Instant coffee - 8.00
Womanly things - 2.40
Ice cream - 4.51
2x chocolate bars - 2.00
Bread - 3.49
HJs fries & onion rings - 2.00
Groceries from IGA today
~ Eggs - 1.99
~ Cheese - 4.00
~ Yoghurt #1 - 3.29
~ Yoghurt #2 - 3.50
~ Kettle parmesan chips - 3.85
~ 4 bananas - 2.10
~ Blueberries - 4.99
~ Chocolate milkshake - 3.98
TOTAL: 74.68
Other items bought
SEVENTY FOUR DOLLARS AND SIXTY EIGHT CENTS!!!???
What the dickens.
That's only in one week, on food.
Now, To Be Fair, the groceries bought today are probably not meant to be included due to the fact that I got paid on Thursday and therefore 'started a new week' on Friday.
So take away the groceries today at 27.70 and that leaves me with 46.98 for one week from Friday 1st Sept until Friday 8th Sept.
Have you ever drank a chocolate milkshake really quickly, sniffed your suddenly runny nose, and then had an insanely strong taste of chemicals?
Gross, isn't it?
Anyway, whichever way you look at it, I went over the 19.20 budget in the first few days. YOLO! Screw the rules! Enjoy life!
Yes.
But I managed to save whatever money left in my account for the previous fortnight by not taking it out to buy a big grocery shop. Every time I get the Food Shop Bug I run out and strut on a cloud of bliss through whichever supermarket I pick and grab all the items ever to appeal to me in some way. Then I look at the price when the last item has been scanned and I faint right into my conveniently-placed trolley.
By buying little things over the course of a week and resisting the urge to buy chocolatey snacks when I didn't urgently need them helped me save an accumulated amount at the end of the fortnight, which gave me the choice of putting it into a savings account or spending it. I chose to keep it where it was and at the end of the month I will see just how much is left in there.
I can tell you right now that the amount would have been much lower had I given in all those times.
Pretty proud Cerri!
Now to get set for the next week and a half. The Budget THIS TIME is 40.00 (a fortnight) - 27.70 = 12.30.
Which isn't really all that different from 19.20 a week.
Fuck me.
Due to only sleeping for four hours last night because, of reasons, let's all just clap and smile and gesture in awe at my money saving ways and brilliance beyond measure. How do they measure brilliance? Who knows! I'm so far ahead of it I can't even hear the machine they use to measure things, or produce the little cups with mL on them, or stamp contestants with their proof of entry, or manufacture small hats with the logo 'Cerri Kicks Ass: Beware Of Magnificent Ability' sprawled across the front.
Tootleoo!!
💗
Let our hearts stay untroubled by the atrocity of the world, may we look without judgement for we all hide monsters deep within that sit alongside angels, and to be such makes us human.
Friday 8 September 2017
Does this come with extra cheese?
Day 8 & 9
This challenge.... *Insert panda smashing computer keyboard GIF here*
My life atm... *Insert whatever GIF you feel like here*
Who knows anymore.
So day 7 was the only day on this challenge so far where I spent nothing, and I don't even think I was that proud. Although I think I also spent nothing on day 1.
Then, a very tragic thing happened yesterday early in the morning (day 8) and I worked a literal 12 hour shift after about three hours of broken sleep, so all day I wanted to either float freely and sing magical songs with the fairies while also rip out all the pretty, smug flowers from the ground and stomp on them real hard with pointy-bottomed shoes.
I wanted to kick a lot of things. And I also wanted to say things like 'love is all around' and 'peace brother', 'tranquility', 'have you seen where I left my pen?'
It was all of that an much more.
It was cloudy and cold, yet sunny and calm. It was blinking really fast to stay awake and moving at 100000 rpm kmp etc per second, it was probably having a micro sleep in those really fast blinking times, and it was smiling really slowly while wondering how a whole tray full of crockery was suddenly clean and in the cupboard.
It was most likely 900 % unsafe, but we live in a temporary, hazardous world so are we ever truly 100000000 % safe?
I bought petrol at 30, and then I bought one of my connoisseur ice creams at 4.51. For whatever reason I thought they were still 3 dollars something and I made my point thoroughly clear by telling the young cashier about my dream where they were 'like, only, one dollar'.
He seemed impressed.
Earlier that day I bought two kitkat chocolate bars, one dark and one regular, for only $1 each because they sell them cheap at the Volunteer stand at work. I didn't like the dark chocolate one but I ate it all anyway.
After wobbling around during my last two hour shift I was tailgated on the expressway before being rightfully harassed by the tailgating car. He (or she, but men seem to be more aggressive in my experience) finally got sick of driving right up my behind, changed lanes, got in front of me, to which I was thinking 'power to ye, fellow driver' (but was really thinking 'wtf is wrong with people? Go around where there is room and continue to drive, moron'), and THEN proceeded to slow down to a cool 80, which I was already doing. I was like: 'dude bro, I can hardly see straight and my legs feel like jelly on account of the past week with the little sleep I've had being broken and the current stress of my levels being roof-shot, so CAN we PLEASE just do the normal driving thing where you notice someone going slow, yell at them in the safety of your car, and then drive on by to your destination? Cheers, and good day'.
Well he kept up the slowest speed yet to be witnessed in the fast lane until getting bored and zooming off into the moonlit sky.
I zigzagged my way off the expressway and down the roads, came upon a screaming ambulance also going my way, cracked my shit thinking 'I reals fo' sho' hope that's not headed to my house', but realised there was a fire somewhere close by and screeched into my driveway full of despair and mild amusement.
Passed out in my food-smelling work clothes and thought 'Hey! Normalcy returns!'
Woke up at midnight positively STARVING and *Insert moderately angry white kid smashing things with a bad haircut* thought 'WHY AM I DOING THIS FREAKING CHALLENGE FOR??'
Legged it to the nearest service station going over my budget, and money situation, and trying to think of deals, cheap products, what I actually needed (bread and yoghurt) besides what I wanted (all the food in the shop), while also remembering the chocolates earlier and feeling an emotion akin to 'try and save the day, try and save the day, but you've basically ruined it already, so can you save the day?'
And I could.
I bought bread at 3.49, which is only 49c more than the supermarkets normally have it for, and then passed through a Hungry Jacks with $1 medium fries (they upgraded to large because I had to wait for so long in drive thru, and I thought 'oh, is that was I was doing?') and $1 small onion rings because I REFUSE to eat fast food meat. I'd rather just go to the highway and scrape off roadkill, fry it, slap it in a sandwich and call it a day.
So that came to 5.49.
I don't think I'm doing too bad. I have yet to weep uncontrollably while muttering things like 'the milk was two dollars yesterday' and 'who knew microwaves were so powerful?', so I believe it to be mildly successful, HOWEVER, I'm really disheartened about the lame 19.20 budget. It's just so hard to stick to! All the good food IS 19.20 at best, at least all the supposedly healthy food that we're being told to eat is, and there comes a time in one's life when they have to sit down on a comfortably soft couch chair, maybe drape a fuzzy blanket over their legs, reach for the strongly brewed hard-as-shit mother of a coffee, and say to no-one in particular: 'I'm just not good at making plans'.
Perhaps diving head-first into a challenge just isn't for me. I'm not One with the food lists, or the shopping for purpose, or the 19.20 life. Perhaps I'm more for a 4.20 life, and just don't know it.
Whatever the case, I have decided to REWRITE THIS LAMEASS BUDGET.
I have decided to amp it up to 20.00.
HA!
Not really.
What a cracker, like, just shoot me now.
I really need my 40.00 a week. I just NEED IT. And once I have that whole number to work with, I can easily save some of it without the ever-present feeling of doom hanging over my head whenever I partake in my usually calming, rejuvenating, pleasurable experience that is shopping for the grocery.
I am someone who really does enjoy grocery shopping. It's one of those things where I can buy whatever I want while also sticking to a budget and, I dunno, but walking up and down dem aisles, looking at the orderly rows of shelving products, fruit stands, freezer meals... it literally gives me some sort of high.
All the other people out there are yelling: 'IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHELTERED!' 'GET A REAL HOBBY!' 'LOOK DOWN NEAR THE TOMATO SAUCES, THE CANS ARE HALF PRICE!'
Either way, I really love food shopping. *Insert heart emoji*
I know 💓
Well fuck me dead. You CAN insert emojis.
(I knew this. A long, long time ago I knew it all, but over the years my brain has leaked out all of the really important information and kept stuff like: 'It is unsafe to leave a heater on when you leave the house for long periods of time' and 'keep your hand in a fist when drowning otherwise everyone will think you're waving at them and wave back').
So, I know that, for me, 40.00 seems like a LOT of money every week, but I also know that I don't have to spend it all and that gives me a greater sense of accomplishment than trying to squeeze out a zest-filled life on canned beans, plain rice, and only one type of fruit for four weeks.
Although, now that I've made peace with my new budget, I feel a(nother) sense of loss and a determined 'You can live off 19.20! Don't give up now!'
Things in my life at the moment:
~ Jennifer Lawrence
~ Pinterest
~ Smeared food on the arm
~ Needing to pee, forgetting, then remembering an hour later and having the feeling return with even greater force
~ Apples
~ Big black handwriting on small lined paper
~ Repeating the phrase 'Yeah, I'll get to that when I've had some time to sort other stuff out'
~ Looking at the time and thinking 'Is that all?' 'Why is it so fast?' 'FUCK ME slow down' 'Just wasted another five minutes walking somewhere, when will they invent electric shoes?'
In 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before
This challenge.... *Insert panda smashing computer keyboard GIF here*
My life atm... *Insert whatever GIF you feel like here*
Who knows anymore.
So day 7 was the only day on this challenge so far where I spent nothing, and I don't even think I was that proud. Although I think I also spent nothing on day 1.
Then, a very tragic thing happened yesterday early in the morning (day 8) and I worked a literal 12 hour shift after about three hours of broken sleep, so all day I wanted to either float freely and sing magical songs with the fairies while also rip out all the pretty, smug flowers from the ground and stomp on them real hard with pointy-bottomed shoes.
I wanted to kick a lot of things. And I also wanted to say things like 'love is all around' and 'peace brother', 'tranquility', 'have you seen where I left my pen?'
It was all of that an much more.
It was cloudy and cold, yet sunny and calm. It was blinking really fast to stay awake and moving at 100000 rpm kmp etc per second, it was probably having a micro sleep in those really fast blinking times, and it was smiling really slowly while wondering how a whole tray full of crockery was suddenly clean and in the cupboard.
It was most likely 900 % unsafe, but we live in a temporary, hazardous world so are we ever truly 100000000 % safe?
I bought petrol at 30, and then I bought one of my connoisseur ice creams at 4.51. For whatever reason I thought they were still 3 dollars something and I made my point thoroughly clear by telling the young cashier about my dream where they were 'like, only, one dollar'.
He seemed impressed.
Earlier that day I bought two kitkat chocolate bars, one dark and one regular, for only $1 each because they sell them cheap at the Volunteer stand at work. I didn't like the dark chocolate one but I ate it all anyway.
After wobbling around during my last two hour shift I was tailgated on the expressway before being rightfully harassed by the tailgating car. He (or she, but men seem to be more aggressive in my experience) finally got sick of driving right up my behind, changed lanes, got in front of me, to which I was thinking 'power to ye, fellow driver' (but was really thinking 'wtf is wrong with people? Go around where there is room and continue to drive, moron'), and THEN proceeded to slow down to a cool 80, which I was already doing. I was like: 'dude bro, I can hardly see straight and my legs feel like jelly on account of the past week with the little sleep I've had being broken and the current stress of my levels being roof-shot, so CAN we PLEASE just do the normal driving thing where you notice someone going slow, yell at them in the safety of your car, and then drive on by to your destination? Cheers, and good day'.
Well he kept up the slowest speed yet to be witnessed in the fast lane until getting bored and zooming off into the moonlit sky.
I zigzagged my way off the expressway and down the roads, came upon a screaming ambulance also going my way, cracked my shit thinking 'I reals fo' sho' hope that's not headed to my house', but realised there was a fire somewhere close by and screeched into my driveway full of despair and mild amusement.
Passed out in my food-smelling work clothes and thought 'Hey! Normalcy returns!'
Woke up at midnight positively STARVING and *Insert moderately angry white kid smashing things with a bad haircut* thought 'WHY AM I DOING THIS FREAKING CHALLENGE FOR??'
Legged it to the nearest service station going over my budget, and money situation, and trying to think of deals, cheap products, what I actually needed (bread and yoghurt) besides what I wanted (all the food in the shop), while also remembering the chocolates earlier and feeling an emotion akin to 'try and save the day, try and save the day, but you've basically ruined it already, so can you save the day?'
And I could.
I bought bread at 3.49, which is only 49c more than the supermarkets normally have it for, and then passed through a Hungry Jacks with $1 medium fries (they upgraded to large because I had to wait for so long in drive thru, and I thought 'oh, is that was I was doing?') and $1 small onion rings because I REFUSE to eat fast food meat. I'd rather just go to the highway and scrape off roadkill, fry it, slap it in a sandwich and call it a day.
So that came to 5.49.
I don't think I'm doing too bad. I have yet to weep uncontrollably while muttering things like 'the milk was two dollars yesterday' and 'who knew microwaves were so powerful?', so I believe it to be mildly successful, HOWEVER, I'm really disheartened about the lame 19.20 budget. It's just so hard to stick to! All the good food IS 19.20 at best, at least all the supposedly healthy food that we're being told to eat is, and there comes a time in one's life when they have to sit down on a comfortably soft couch chair, maybe drape a fuzzy blanket over their legs, reach for the strongly brewed hard-as-shit mother of a coffee, and say to no-one in particular: 'I'm just not good at making plans'.
Perhaps diving head-first into a challenge just isn't for me. I'm not One with the food lists, or the shopping for purpose, or the 19.20 life. Perhaps I'm more for a 4.20 life, and just don't know it.
Whatever the case, I have decided to REWRITE THIS LAMEASS BUDGET.
I have decided to amp it up to 20.00.
HA!
Not really.
What a cracker, like, just shoot me now.
I really need my 40.00 a week. I just NEED IT. And once I have that whole number to work with, I can easily save some of it without the ever-present feeling of doom hanging over my head whenever I partake in my usually calming, rejuvenating, pleasurable experience that is shopping for the grocery.
I am someone who really does enjoy grocery shopping. It's one of those things where I can buy whatever I want while also sticking to a budget and, I dunno, but walking up and down dem aisles, looking at the orderly rows of shelving products, fruit stands, freezer meals... it literally gives me some sort of high.
All the other people out there are yelling: 'IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHELTERED!' 'GET A REAL HOBBY!' 'LOOK DOWN NEAR THE TOMATO SAUCES, THE CANS ARE HALF PRICE!'
Either way, I really love food shopping. *Insert heart emoji*
I know 💓
Well fuck me dead. You CAN insert emojis.
(I knew this. A long, long time ago I knew it all, but over the years my brain has leaked out all of the really important information and kept stuff like: 'It is unsafe to leave a heater on when you leave the house for long periods of time' and 'keep your hand in a fist when drowning otherwise everyone will think you're waving at them and wave back').
So, I know that, for me, 40.00 seems like a LOT of money every week, but I also know that I don't have to spend it all and that gives me a greater sense of accomplishment than trying to squeeze out a zest-filled life on canned beans, plain rice, and only one type of fruit for four weeks.
Although, now that I've made peace with my new budget, I feel a(nother) sense of loss and a determined 'You can live off 19.20! Don't give up now!'
Things in my life at the moment:
~ Jennifer Lawrence
~ Smeared food on the arm
~ Needing to pee, forgetting, then remembering an hour later and having the feeling return with even greater force
~ Apples
~ Big black handwriting on small lined paper
~ Repeating the phrase 'Yeah, I'll get to that when I've had some time to sort other stuff out'
~ Looking at the time and thinking 'Is that all?' 'Why is it so fast?' 'FUCK ME slow down' 'Just wasted another five minutes walking somewhere, when will they invent electric shoes?'
In 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before
Thursday 7 September 2017
How long until I can open my eyes?
Day 7
A week has past and I am still alive, in human form, and craving the moist foods more than ever!
One whole week without spending a single thing!!
*Cough.
Yes. Well.
Ahem.
>__<
Also, it's been a week without my mountainous mountains of toast, and I just realised this, today, so that just shows how observant I am.
Ok! The first week on this challenge has literally been like any other week except I have worried more over spending and apparently eaten less. I actually think I'm losing weight.
Whether it's due to my apparent disinterest in food, maybe because I don't see any I like and so don't bother to eat it (I've had two frozen meals of weird looking chicken in a mustardy sauce that I'm sure tastes DELICIOUS sitting in the fridge for the whole week but I just can't make myself eat it- however I did take one of them to work in a bowl. I lugged it there in a carry bag, sat it in the fridge for the whole double shift, and then hauled it right back home again, stressing the whole way that it would tip in the car and spill it's weird mustard sauce all over my car floor), or whether it's due to the fact that I subconsciously spend a shit tonne of money somehow on random groceries everyday, the fact still remains: there is edible food in my fridge yet I feel hungry and thinner than last week.
How is this even possible?
Today I spent a great deal of energy pulling my pants up.
I've often had a theory that peoples round tummies are due to constant eating without giving their digestion time to process it all and rest in between.
Anyhow, I noticed that I experienced a few headaches over the week and wondered if it was from the extreme use of heaters causing dehydration, overworking causing exhaustion, or just general everyday stress such as: 'Are my eyebrowse really that shape?' 'Is there a way to make these sleeves longer without any effort on my part?' and 'Holy Mackeral! Three hours past my bedtime, but I really must scroll another five minutes on Pinterest'.
You know, the really important ones.
Dayum son, Pinterest is GOD. Literal God in computer app form.
Now, the weight loss was not my intention and I must say that I believe it's a combination of working more double shifts in the past month as well as eating less overall. So I must keep an eye on that.
I also need to keep an eye on my sleeping patterns, because, FUUUUUUCK ME have I been sleeping rough. Just last night I woke up around six times, then one hour before my alarm, slept-walked over to my bedroom light, turned it on, and went back to bed, only to wake up around every 15-20 minutes until my alarm, then I lay in bed for 6 minutes after that. The night before I had that 'wake-up-in-the-dream-to-a-giant-spider-on-my-wall' dream. The one which I have every year or so, where I wake up in my dream and everything in my room is how it is in real life, and in the darkness I have really great vision so I can see things clearer and brighter. Immediately I notice a MONSTROUS black spider somewhere along any one of my walls- and once I even 'saw' a giant spider run behind one of my cabinets- and I usually either yell really loudly and then leap up to switch my light on, or I just leap up and switch the light on then wake up yelling.
I have yet to figure out what these dreams mean, but I hope it's good luck or some other ancient form of wisdom granted in my favour. ^__0v
Ok! Now for the fun part: tallying up the food to see what I have left for this next week.
Food in my freezer:
3x frozen meals
12x soup
1x ice cream container of soup
1x tub of actual ice cream
1x half packet of berries
1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
1x custard and carrot cake
06x 2 slices of bread, wrapped individually
Food in my fridge:
01x half carton of eggs
1xhalf quarter carton of milk
02x 2 slices of bread, wrapped individually
a container ofhalf cucumber, half tomato, half avocado, three quarters of a block of cheese OMG I STILL HAVE CHEESE LEFT!!!
01x avocado
02x tomatoes
21x three quarter bag of carrots
1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
2x bottles of food colouring
1x half a container of orange juice that I haven't touched in about one month
Food in pantry:
1x container of oats
01x half a packet of jatz crackers
1x whole bag unopened of brown rice
1x can of spicy tuna
1x can of kippers (god knows what they are, but I guess I'll find out!)
1x bottle half of olive oil
1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
2x jars of spring water tuna
1x half a jar of forest berry jam
2x cloves of garlic
01x half a packet of oreo biscuits >_<
01x half packet of m&ms
1xhalf quarter packet of pineapple chews THEY'RE JUST SO BAD, EVERY TIME.
And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
Food in basket:
2x onions that have been there for about two weeks
05x bananas
01x kiwi fruit that has been there for one or two weeks
02x mandarins
This week I believe I have some fatastical budget thing worked out!
*Cringes. *Reaches shakily into Pineapple Chew packet. (Just this one last time, I promise). BUT DO I EVER THROW THE PINEAPPLES OUT?? NO. Why not? Because the first one is just so darn good. And then from that very first moreish bite, it gets worse, and worse, and the slope steepens until all that is left is this one gigantic vertical platform that you regret getting on so all you do is hold on to your unicycle real tight and close your eyes... (Maybe don't do that with the chews though, Cerri! You might miss your mouth and get it in your eye! And you need those!)
I have paid all my important bills and rent and mortgage doodads and when I get the urge to fill up my petrol tank next (probably tomorrow or Saturday), I will take out the 60 for petrol and use 30 for the next seven days. However, my Peterbae lives like on the other side of the planet, and as such, if I want squishy cuddle time I must either catch a plane for six thousand hours to his house or he must sail dangerous high seas at weeks on end to get to mine, and as you can imagine, it's not always in our physical best interest to be lost at sea battling gigantic Krackens or using up entire years worth of flyer points to sit and read three dusty old novels over and over because there is a strict carry-on weight limit.
Yes, there is a limit. I have once paid the price of stuffing every book I own (or maybe just 8) along with my lap-top, two folders, pencil case, paintable gnome, and toiletry bag into one backpack.
And I did not care one bit.
SO MY POINT IS!
There may be more ramble postings about how I went over my spend limit just because I didn't want to lose a limb or go mad from redundant repetition.
And with that, I bid you a cheerio!
Much of the tipping of hats to you, and to me, for making it this far.
Full speed ahead to the next week!
You got this!
*@*
>];<
&__[_&
\____/
A week has past and I am still alive, in human form, and craving the moist foods more than ever!
One whole week without spending a single thing!!
*Cough.
Yes. Well.
Ahem.
>__<
Also, it's been a week without my mountainous mountains of toast, and I just realised this, today, so that just shows how observant I am.
Ok! The first week on this challenge has literally been like any other week except I have worried more over spending and apparently eaten less. I actually think I'm losing weight.
Whether it's due to my apparent disinterest in food, maybe because I don't see any I like and so don't bother to eat it (I've had two frozen meals of weird looking chicken in a mustardy sauce that I'm sure tastes DELICIOUS sitting in the fridge for the whole week but I just can't make myself eat it- however I did take one of them to work in a bowl. I lugged it there in a carry bag, sat it in the fridge for the whole double shift, and then hauled it right back home again, stressing the whole way that it would tip in the car and spill it's weird mustard sauce all over my car floor), or whether it's due to the fact that I subconsciously spend a shit tonne of money somehow on random groceries everyday, the fact still remains: there is edible food in my fridge yet I feel hungry and thinner than last week.
How is this even possible?
Today I spent a great deal of energy pulling my pants up.
I've often had a theory that peoples round tummies are due to constant eating without giving their digestion time to process it all and rest in between.
Anyhow, I noticed that I experienced a few headaches over the week and wondered if it was from the extreme use of heaters causing dehydration, overworking causing exhaustion, or just general everyday stress such as: 'Are my eyebrowse really that shape?' 'Is there a way to make these sleeves longer without any effort on my part?' and 'Holy Mackeral! Three hours past my bedtime, but I really must scroll another five minutes on Pinterest'.
You know, the really important ones.
Dayum son, Pinterest is GOD. Literal God in computer app form.
Now, the weight loss was not my intention and I must say that I believe it's a combination of working more double shifts in the past month as well as eating less overall. So I must keep an eye on that.
I also need to keep an eye on my sleeping patterns, because, FUUUUUUCK ME have I been sleeping rough. Just last night I woke up around six times, then one hour before my alarm, slept-walked over to my bedroom light, turned it on, and went back to bed, only to wake up around every 15-20 minutes until my alarm, then I lay in bed for 6 minutes after that. The night before I had that 'wake-up-in-the-dream-to-a-giant-spider-on-my-wall' dream. The one which I have every year or so, where I wake up in my dream and everything in my room is how it is in real life, and in the darkness I have really great vision so I can see things clearer and brighter. Immediately I notice a MONSTROUS black spider somewhere along any one of my walls- and once I even 'saw' a giant spider run behind one of my cabinets- and I usually either yell really loudly and then leap up to switch my light on, or I just leap up and switch the light on then wake up yelling.
I have yet to figure out what these dreams mean, but I hope it's good luck or some other ancient form of wisdom granted in my favour. ^__0v
Ok! Now for the fun part: tallying up the food to see what I have left for this next week.
Food in my freezer:
3x frozen meals
1
1x ice cream container of soup
1x tub of actual ice cream
1x half packet of berries
1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
1x custard and carrot cake
0
Food in my fridge:
0
1x
0
a container of
0
0
2
1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
2x bottles of food colouring
1x half a container of orange juice that I haven't touched in about one month
Food in pantry:
1x container of oats
0
1x whole bag unopened of brown rice
1x can of spicy tuna
1x can of kippers (god knows what they are, but I guess I'll find out!)
1x bottle half of olive oil
1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
2x jars of spring water tuna
1x half a jar of forest berry jam
2x cloves of garlic
0
0
1x
And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
Food in basket:
2x onions that have been there for about two weeks
0
0
0
This week I believe I have some fatastical budget thing worked out!
*Cringes. *Reaches shakily into Pineapple Chew packet. (Just this one last time, I promise). BUT DO I EVER THROW THE PINEAPPLES OUT?? NO. Why not? Because the first one is just so darn good. And then from that very first moreish bite, it gets worse, and worse, and the slope steepens until all that is left is this one gigantic vertical platform that you regret getting on so all you do is hold on to your unicycle real tight and close your eyes... (Maybe don't do that with the chews though, Cerri! You might miss your mouth and get it in your eye! And you need those!)
I have paid all my important bills and rent and mortgage doodads and when I get the urge to fill up my petrol tank next (probably tomorrow or Saturday), I will take out the 60 for petrol and use 30 for the next seven days. However, my Peterbae lives like on the other side of the planet, and as such, if I want squishy cuddle time I must either catch a plane for six thousand hours to his house or he must sail dangerous high seas at weeks on end to get to mine, and as you can imagine, it's not always in our physical best interest to be lost at sea battling gigantic Krackens or using up entire years worth of flyer points to sit and read three dusty old novels over and over because there is a strict carry-on weight limit.
Yes, there is a limit. I have once paid the price of stuffing every book I own (or maybe just 8) along with my lap-top, two folders, pencil case, paintable gnome, and toiletry bag into one backpack.
And I did not care one bit.
SO MY POINT IS!
There may be more ramble postings about how I went over my spend limit just because I didn't want to lose a limb or go mad from redundant repetition.
And with that, I bid you a cheerio!
Much of the tipping of hats to you, and to me, for making it this far.
Full speed ahead to the next week!
You got this!
*@*
>];<
&__[_&
\____/
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