Day 8 & 9
This challenge.... *Insert panda smashing computer keyboard GIF here*
My life atm... *Insert whatever GIF you feel like here*
Who knows anymore.
So day 7 was the only day on this challenge so far where I spent nothing, and I don't even think I was that proud. Although I think I also spent nothing on day 1.
Then, a very tragic thing happened yesterday early in the morning (day 8) and I worked a literal 12 hour shift after about three hours of broken sleep, so all day I wanted to either float freely and sing magical songs with the fairies while also rip out all the pretty, smug flowers from the ground and stomp on them real hard with pointy-bottomed shoes.
I wanted to kick a lot of things. And I also wanted to say things like 'love is all around' and 'peace brother', 'tranquility', 'have you seen where I left my pen?'
It was all of that an much more.
It was cloudy and cold, yet sunny and calm. It was blinking really fast to stay awake and moving at 100000 rpm kmp etc per second, it was probably having a micro sleep in those really fast blinking times, and it was smiling really slowly while wondering how a whole tray full of crockery was suddenly clean and in the cupboard.
It was most likely 900 % unsafe, but we live in a temporary, hazardous world so are we ever truly 100000000 % safe?
I bought petrol at 30, and then I bought one of my connoisseur ice creams at 4.51. For whatever reason I thought they were still 3 dollars something and I made my point thoroughly clear by telling the young cashier about my dream where they were 'like, only, one dollar'.
He seemed impressed.
Earlier that day I bought two kitkat chocolate bars, one dark and one regular, for only $1 each because they sell them cheap at the Volunteer stand at work. I didn't like the dark chocolate one but I ate it all anyway.
After wobbling around during my last two hour shift I was tailgated on the expressway before being rightfully harassed by the tailgating car. He (or she, but men seem to be more aggressive in my experience) finally got sick of driving right up my behind, changed lanes, got in front of me, to which I was thinking 'power to ye, fellow driver' (but was really thinking 'wtf is wrong with people? Go around where there is room and continue to drive, moron'), and THEN proceeded to slow down to a cool 80, which I was already doing. I was like: 'dude bro, I can hardly see straight and my legs feel like jelly on account of the past week with the little sleep I've had being broken and the current stress of my levels being roof-shot, so CAN we PLEASE just do the normal driving thing where you notice someone going slow, yell at them in the safety of your car, and then drive on by to your destination? Cheers, and good day'.
Well he kept up the slowest speed yet to be witnessed in the fast lane until getting bored and zooming off into the moonlit sky.
I zigzagged my way off the expressway and down the roads, came upon a screaming ambulance also going my way, cracked my shit thinking 'I reals fo' sho' hope that's not headed to my house', but realised there was a fire somewhere close by and screeched into my driveway full of despair and mild amusement.
Passed out in my food-smelling work clothes and thought 'Hey! Normalcy returns!'
Woke up at midnight positively STARVING and *Insert moderately angry white kid smashing things with a bad haircut* thought 'WHY AM I DOING THIS FREAKING CHALLENGE FOR??'
Legged it to the nearest service station going over my budget, and money situation, and trying to think of deals, cheap products, what I actually needed (bread and yoghurt) besides what I wanted (all the food in the shop), while also remembering the chocolates earlier and feeling an emotion akin to 'try and save the day, try and save the day, but you've basically ruined it already, so can you save the day?'
And I could.
I bought bread at 3.49, which is only 49c more than the supermarkets normally have it for, and then passed through a Hungry Jacks with $1 medium fries (they upgraded to large because I had to wait for so long in drive thru, and I thought 'oh, is that was I was doing?') and $1 small onion rings because I REFUSE to eat fast food meat. I'd rather just go to the highway and scrape off roadkill, fry it, slap it in a sandwich and call it a day.
So that came to 5.49.
I don't think I'm doing too bad. I have yet to weep uncontrollably while muttering things like 'the milk was two dollars yesterday' and 'who knew microwaves were so powerful?', so I believe it to be mildly successful, HOWEVER, I'm really disheartened about the lame 19.20 budget. It's just so hard to stick to! All the good food IS 19.20 at best, at least all the supposedly healthy food that we're being told to eat is, and there comes a time in one's life when they have to sit down on a comfortably soft couch chair, maybe drape a fuzzy blanket over their legs, reach for the strongly brewed hard-as-shit mother of a coffee, and say to no-one in particular: 'I'm just not good at making plans'.
Perhaps diving head-first into a challenge just isn't for me. I'm not One with the food lists, or the shopping for purpose, or the 19.20 life. Perhaps I'm more for a 4.20 life, and just don't know it.
Whatever the case, I have decided to REWRITE THIS LAMEASS BUDGET.
I have decided to amp it up to 20.00.
HA!
Not really.
What a cracker, like, just shoot me now.
I really need my 40.00 a week. I just NEED IT. And once I have that whole number to work with, I can easily save some of it without the ever-present feeling of doom hanging over my head whenever I partake in my usually calming, rejuvenating, pleasurable experience that is shopping for the grocery.
I am someone who really does enjoy grocery shopping. It's one of those things where I can buy whatever I want while also sticking to a budget and, I dunno, but walking up and down dem aisles, looking at the orderly rows of shelving products, fruit stands, freezer meals... it literally gives me some sort of high.
All the other people out there are yelling: 'IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHELTERED!' 'GET A REAL HOBBY!' 'LOOK DOWN NEAR THE TOMATO SAUCES, THE CANS ARE HALF PRICE!'
Either way, I really love food shopping. *Insert heart emoji*
I know 💓
Well fuck me dead. You CAN insert emojis.
(I knew this. A long, long time ago I knew it all, but over the years my brain has leaked out all of the really important information and kept stuff like: 'It is unsafe to leave a heater on when you leave the house for long periods of time' and 'keep your hand in a fist when drowning otherwise everyone will think you're waving at them and wave back').
So, I know that, for me, 40.00 seems like a LOT of money every week, but I also know that I don't have to spend it all and that gives me a greater sense of accomplishment than trying to squeeze out a zest-filled life on canned beans, plain rice, and only one type of fruit for four weeks.
Although, now that I've made peace with my new budget, I feel a(nother) sense of loss and a determined 'You can live off 19.20! Don't give up now!'
Things in my life at the moment:
~ Jennifer Lawrence
~ Pinterest
~ Smeared food on the arm
~ Needing to pee, forgetting, then remembering an hour later and having the feeling return with even greater force
~ Apples
~ Big black handwriting on small lined paper
~ Repeating the phrase 'Yeah, I'll get to that when I've had some time to sort other stuff out'
~ Looking at the time and thinking 'Is that all?' 'Why is it so fast?' 'FUCK ME slow down' 'Just wasted another five minutes walking somewhere, when will they invent electric shoes?'
In 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before
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