Day 22
Today I have nearly burned my tongue on every single food item consumed, except maybe breakfast, which was porridge. Porridge is so much nicer with yoghurt, and then with the added cinnamon on top if you're like me and find regular yoghurt too sweet. WHY DO I KEEP EATING IT OMGGGG STOP CERRI.
Ok.
This soup business is one giant ball of distress right there.
It's so amazing because I added mashed potato to it to make it creamy and thick, AND YET, every single time I take a spoonful it scorches my innocent tongue. Like, maybe I won't heat the soup up twice as long as I normally do seeing as it has a thicker potato substance to aid it along the 'why is my soup taking foreverrrrrrrrrrr to get to the hot level' process.
Come to think of it, the only foods I have consumed today have been this soup and porridge. Dayum soup, why so much hate? Let some love in your life, shrug of the heavy responsibilities of worrying about your flovour, liquid-to-solid ratio, general overall appeal to the critical eye... let them all go rolling down that hill and lie back under a tree, or get some sun, allow yourself to spread out, containment in bowls or cups is for the weak! You are now free!
I should TOTALLY drink my soup in a mug. Why I struggle along with balancing a whole bowlful precariously on my pile of quilts (yes, at the very top!) I will never know. Or maybe I will. Maybe tomorrow I'll come back from the future and slap myself in the face for my inability to adapt to the soup-eating way.
"Grow a pair," I will say. "Of apples, because I'm downright starving and have a massive craving for apples. The Granny Smith kind."
But then I will slap my future self. "Granny apples are for the children of yesterday. Today- why- today! We eat Red Delicious!"
"Don't make me laugh!" my future self will snort with scorn and distaste and a little scream of mirth somewhere in there. I will watch with mild concern.
"Oh, no," I will start, obviously, in a way one would when surprised but totally earnest. "I was actually serious..."
My future self slaps her knee. "Red delicious." She'll scream with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Never heard such nonsense..."
I had never imagined that future me could get on my nerves in such a short space of time, but in that moment I will know and I will be filled with an insatiable feeling of guilt. The emotion that cannot be quenched no matter how many times you do a run-over in your head with a page-long list of things to change. Re-writing guilt takes hours.
"Excuse me," I will say in a condescending way with a hard frown on my face to show just how serious I am. "I have only ever grown strawberries and they have withered and died because I do not garden, and I will not garden, and I am afraid that the girl who did once try to garden but fail miserably lives here no longer. So away with you!"
And I will turn and smirk at how cool, collected, and calm I was considering that I was just engaged with a confronting squabble my future self.
I simply must not leave, I will think firmly, until I have her time machine plans.
But when I turn back with love in my heart and peace-making chocolates (or teddy, whichever my future self is more prone to, although, if she's anything like me she will prefer the chocolates, no doubt) in my hand, she is nowhere to be seen.
Today I...
~ Managed to catch two mice in my humane mouse trap using Twisties as bait and then I drove them down the street to a park where I set them free. Cheese Twisties. They are pure gold and sex and heavenly sin ALL at the same time.
Which would be painful and confusing, probably messy and filled with regret afterwards- so basically just your regular one-night stand, only tastier!
I fell asleep last night whilst writing that last post and then woke up when my housemate came in saying that my mousetrap had caught a mouse. I said 'Yay! Cool' and fell asleep again, only to wake up at 5am for no reason whatsoever.
~ Fantasised once again about having the nice firm plastic sheets instead of the cheap, flimsy, stuff they call plastic sheets but feel more like clingwrap.
~ Went to the shops!
Oh yes! I spent money! I really wanted a curry and I stood for a painfully long time staring at the curry pastes and sauces in the regular pasta aisle, then meandered on over to the gluten free aisle, compared prices, checked my internal 'give-a-fuck-o-meter-' and it was sitting comfortably at 2, so I called it a day and just bought...
> Really soft toilet tissue (this is actually on the receipt) (toilet rolls) 6.99
> Biodynamic Farm natural yoghurt 6.39
> 3x Bananas 1.03
> Blueberries on special! 2.99
> Light rye bread 3.49
TOTAL: 20.89
It's all a bit expensive isn't it? I feel like writing a long-winded letter to the yoghurt company asking them exactly why this yoghurt has to be 6.39, because 1.30 would be just as good, if not better.
~ Did all my householdy chores and felt like superwoman but in her disguise form, having well-deserved downtime.
~ Spent most of the day wondering why I had a migraine.
Yes! And that's pretty much it!
Adios and farewell from the darkside, where cookies are choc chip and the most common activity is watching pies cool on the window sill.
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