Did somebody press the fast-forward button?

Day 5
Things I have learned and want to share with the world.

1. Water always helps. Always. Drink it if you don't need it, drink it if you do, and if you don't know what you want, choose water.

2. Find your place of calm zen and practice there daily. For me, this is writing out my budget, doing budgety things and things involving number crunching, calculator button pressing, future planning, house plan sketching, cookie eating, and coffee drinking. My love for coffee knows no bounds, so basically anything involving coffee at about 6-8am and 1-3pm in the day is where you will find me.

3. No matter what always rely on yourself. This sounds pretty straight forward doesn't it? It's like, 'What is she even talking about? Of course I rely on myself, who else takes me to work? Works at my job? Pays my bills, buys  my groceries, looks after my kids, clips my toenails?' PSHHH! WHAT A CRACKHEAD.
~ But all too easily we are taken in by people and end up running around after them, whether it be physically with constant one-sided visits or emotionally with too many thoughtful gestures that go unreturned and days spent crying by a rainy window.
DO NOT DO THIS. IT IS A HEALTH  HAZARD.
~ Even with family.
~ Even with work.
~ If anyone could straight up tell me how long every single person on this earth will live for, I would slap em twice and eat my hat. (All from shock, of course) But until then, we must always assume that we could die tomorrow, and why would we spend three hours today agonising over someone who couldn't care less about us or a situation that is out of our control?

• Control the things you can.    

Accept the things you can't.   

~ Throw the rest away, pee on it like that piece of dog wisdom, grow a tree, sit among the flowers and dream.

~ Dreams are all we have.

4. Clean and tidy spaces are the SHIT. Did I say oily organic peanut butter was the shit? I was wrong, or I was partly wrong, because organisation is TOP LEVEL SHIZ and OOPB is next level shiz, but they are both the big S nonetheless and should be included in the daily rituals of active living.

5. You Can Be your Best Self at Any Age. How old are you now? Where are you standing? Are you where you want to be, or going where you want to go? Is that a map in your hands? WHY NOT? HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET ANYWHERE WITHOUT A PLAN?? Get some paper, a pen, a quiet area, sit down and write every single thing that you want to do, buy, go, see, say, watch, create. Then take another piece of paper. Write your exact age on it. Write the days, the minutes, the very second of how old you are. Scrunch it up. Toss it in the bin. Go make a smoothie.

~ Age is only in the mind. Bar some physical and mental limitations you can pick any one of your dreams from out of thin air and proceed to the 'Exit Stale Life' checkout- but don't pay! This checkout is free! (Way to go checkout, Jolly Good of you!)

6. You can change your life at any age. Read step 5. for exact instructions.

7. Be a cat. Sleep as much as you can, wherever you can. Clean yourself often. Enjoy sunshine. Purr whenever somebody pats you on the head- even if it's only because you're small and forgot to wear your high top shoes.

Well! Now that my uplifting distractions have oozed into the hearts of man and energized the minds of many (or not, whichever), I have another confession!!

I have 100 per cent spent 8.00 dollars on instant coffee today, no lie or exaggeration! I'm not thrilled, and let me tell you, I searched high and low for the cheapest shitass coffee around. I searched and I searched- or maybe just glanced through each shelf in a state of exhausted despair at ONCE AGAIN being in a supermarket- and the cheapest coffee around that was a decent size so as to last me until the end of this challenge was Robert Timms Premium Granulated Coffee 200gms. 

Goodbye eight dollaryoooos, hello constant comfort in a world gone mad.

Peace and Love.

I actually went to the Library after work today (in a somewhat awed state of being. Is this sun supposed to be that high in the sky? Where are all these cars going? Why are there so many people out eating? Could it be only lunch time so late in the day? Oh wait, it is! Ahahahahah I have all the time in the world!!! And off to crazy town I ride on my horse) ... and realised that the fiction sections have all warped as though put through an experimental sizing machine. There used to be a whole bottom shelf dedicated to finance and only one third of a shelf dedicated to spiritualism, but now there is only one third of a shelf of finance and three shelves of cooking books with one and a half shelves full of 'How To Wine at Any Time', and four whole shelves dedicated to spirituality split into sections like Christianity and Paganism.

What the actual??

I thought to myself: 'Huh, this wouldn't have anything to do with the mass bombardation the public is getting of cooking tv shows, would it?' 'Censorship today' and 'So, like, where did all the finance books go?'
But I was too tired to bother asking anyone, so I just went home, made a coffee, sat on my bed and felt at one with all things.

So my running total to date is 12 dollars - 8 dollars = FOUR DOLLARS ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?

I reals don't think I will survive this challenge. Just the expense of Lady Time on it's own, I can not understand why I didn't factor that in. Because, let's all take a minute to understand something crucially crucial---

I did not even think about putting in a non-grocery allowance. You know, for things like toothpaste or clingwrap or shoe polish. I just went, 'Throw it all in! Who needs food? Live off love and air, I've always said, does wonders for clearing the sinus cavity. Who needs bandaids? Just wrap some toilet paper around the wound and fasten it with sticky tape, no better way to look like a wilting dweeb, yessiree!'

Holy Chrime, toilet paper. If my calculations are correct it'll be my turn in about two weeks, maybe one if I keep using it for wound protection.

Fasten your seat-belt, Cerri! It's going to be a bumpy two weeks ahead!

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