= THINGS I NEED IN MY LIFE STAT =
Ahoy.
It has come to my attention, once again, just how sloth-like I really am. Maybe that's why Bae likes me so much! Or maybe that's why my car always smells mildly of food.. who's to say!?
If I continue going this way I will end up literally and figuratively sewn into my bed.
Is there any other place I'd rather be? Of course not! Bed is life! But it is also where the legs cannot stretch, the eyes wander away from the heinously bright blue computer/phone/ipad/other 25th century nonsense, and I N E R T I A sets in. Hello, Inertia! Nice to meet you! Stay and have some tea- in fact, scrap that- have some fucking coffee because I am a COFFEE ADDICT YO.
BUT TEA WOULD ALSO BE INCLUDED SHOULD GUESTS DESIRE THE URGE. However, it is highly discouraged, and severely frowned upon.
At this very minute I have a banana peel in the door shelf of my car. Yes. My car has a door and built into that door there be a little dipped shelf thing, and certainly, in the course of my traumatic day-to-day driving there might at some point live a microscopic, yellowing but also browning at the same time in a confusing way, fresh as fuck peel of a once-ripe banana. The insides consumed! The outer layer of protection now thrown away in disinterest, and, most likely, with sudden haste due to an approaching vehicle of the police kind!
But not to worry!
The peel and etc will be cleaned out with sure urgent intentions, even if they only reside inside my head.
WHATEVER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??
~ ALL THE THINGS! FOR I AM YOU, AND YOU ARE ME, AND WE ARE ONE BECAUSE NO ONE HERE HAS A SPLIT PERSONALITY.
(It's true, we don't)
That would be weird.
But also, welcomed, and treated with respect.
Basically the above is just fancy-talk to describe my lazy ways. I have the sloth shirt that proves I am actually as lazy IRL as I appear to be in WEB BLOG.
I need yoga! And fresh fruit smoothies! And, like, those colourful health protein powders, and, on that note, hair dye!! So I can cover my magical silver slivers with something that makes me look my actual 24 years of age! Amen.
While I'm getting my wishes did up in this grill, I also desperately need a haircut! And another three tattoos, a piercing- perhaps a few more in the ear- new clothes! New work clothes, a new handbag with pretty patterns, more crystals, more bags or soil for my never-ending plant supply, a coffee machine, a fake orchid to sit in the bathroom, pink bathmats.. because I need pink in my life! and basically ~ I just need to magick my life up!
So much boring! All the time!
☆ Here Are Some Life Choices You Probably Thought I Would Never Make ☆
~ I sleep in all the time. Like, I would rather sleep a little more than get up for recreation fun time
~ My diet consists of chips, toast, chocolate and or cake, coffees, meat, and a little more veg than a few months ago because I experiment in the kitchen nowadays
~ There is no exercise. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS. I BLOG ABOUT MY LACK OF PHYSICAL HEALTH ALL THE TIME, WHICH IS WEIRD, BECAUSE I AM NOT PROUD OF IT
~ Ok, I know we've done this, but I LITERALLY have no clothes. I have to constantly wash my clothes because they get dirty then I have none. As a female of the modern age, I feel like this is a code ... blue? Blue for physical emergency? It's not, it's black, and it's personal threat, which I feel I am currently in!
~ A lot of my possessions aren't authentically mine. Like my car, for instance. I may have recently experienced a car accident, and as much as I LOVE the clean, fresh, ordered insides of Uber cars, there is only so much money a girl can comfortably spend on a luxurious chauffeur before doubting her self-worth. Hence! Purchasing a $650 dollar car, COMPLETE with patterned seat covers yet somehow incomplete due to a missing inside door handle.
-- It's just so nice to have patterned seat covers and not stained actual seats y'all
SO!!!
I feel like a sloth and I NEED to change my fun-loving, couch-sitting, bed-lounging, computer-scrolling ways, even though I am aware how adorable I look in this sloth shirt.
It's gettin real yo.
☆ Changes I Need To Do.. Or At The Very Least Pretend To Attempt To Do While Looking Very Serious About It ☆
~ From today, I need to exercise. I am aware that my previous anxiety could likely be due to lack of anything physical except the annoying bend and twist of the work life.
-- I need to
1. Jog around the block in the sunlight.
2. Do 5 push ups and 5 sit ups.
I am aware that jogging or running incorrectly can fuck you up. Also, I understand that incorrect physical activity can result in unplanned pregnancies, so it's a chance you take, and death could be upon us tomorrow (in a spontaneous event like a car crash or a stabbing), therefore, Do Your Research and RUN LIKE YOU MEAN IT YOU LOSER
But also, you're amazing and I have the deepest respect for your continuous efforts that you put into your life everyday and smash them you dawg
I literally have no idea ~ ~
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(6__^) #buygymwear #drinkasmoothie #cryintoyourcelerysticks
