Oh my GOD, I've forgotten to exercise AGAIN. I must set reminders for myself.
Yes, I did fantasise about ice cream a lot throughout today. Most likely a sign of being thirsty, but I did not purchase any >^_^>.
Alright!
Weekly stats coming your way!
Firstly...
Foods I have eaten today
6.30 am - cold oats with cinnamon, plain yoghurt, and blueberries, 2 black coffees on account of having a traumatic monstrous spider incident and getting no sleep.
7.55 - one white coffee. See above
8.45 - half glass chocolate milkshake, one glass water due to feeling off
9.30 - one glass orange juice due to low blood sugar.
10.30 - one toast with butter, broccoli and potato soup, glass water
11.55 - one tiny fingernail square of roast turkey, four tiny pea-sized roast potatoes and pumpkin
12.50 pm - one white coffee due to extreme exhaustion and overload of work to still do
2.30 - the last 6 squares of freddo chocolate, white coffee super strong
DID NOT NAP. F YES.
5.12 - rest of sushi from yesterday: four squares. Delish. And ALSO. The little tiny piece of cake Peter gave me.
7.17 - one little orange juice juice-box
8.23 - leftover roast potato, peas, and carrots from three days ago.
I weigh
52.4
Well, well, well. What is THIS load of numerical disrespect? I'm actually really enthralled because I never weigh myself, literally ever, except in early June before my surgery (when I was 47.2) and last year when I was messing around at Peters house, so this is new! And encouraged! Welcome, added flab. How are you? How are you finding my body? Is it comfortable? Can I do anything to be more accommodating? Offer snacks, perhaps?
HA!
You've come to the wrong human, little fat blobs! Prepare to be obliviated by my hardworking exercise and healthy eating ways! (Starting tomorrow)
--__@
Man I miss Harry Potter. Those books were 100% amazing gold. Couldn't have visited a better world. I kid you not, I must have read those books FOURTEEN TIMES EACH, but the first three the most because that's where all the carefree magic was.
Anyway, back to my expanding weight! I'm growing! Woohoo!
The first time I weighed myself- back three days ago (eeek)- was in the evening because that was when I wrote the first post. So I'd like to weigh myself tomorrow morning at the early hour of 5am, then tomorrow night, and do a running twice-daily check for one week because I'm darn interested to know my base weight. I know that weighing yourself at night is a no-no because of the extra weight from food and water, but oh well. I also know a lot of variables can mess with the numbers. Stay tuned for that bit of excitement!
Exercise I have done today
None. I did not even work hard or fast. I was slow, I was tired, I was almost at breaking point and there was one time in the kitchen where I hissed fuck in a genuinely terrifying way when people could not get their act together. I stormed, I glared tight-lipped, and I gave off an air of carrying an invisible person around, which would have been accepted had it been a little Persacom who happily took direct orders.
Water I have consumed today
Two waters, two cups orange juice
Food I have purchased this week
GROCERY
3/11/17 Friday
Rolled oats 1.20
Vaalia vanilla yoghurt 6.49
Miracle spread butter 1.79
Bananas 4 2.48
Cucumber 0.99
Blueberries 3.99
TOTAL 16.94
5/11/17 Sunday
Avocado 2.49
Watermelon seedless 0.91
Orange juice boxes 6pk 2.00
TOTAL 5.40
EXTRAS
2 classic beef sliders from Grill'd 12.00
1 Iced coffee with cream and iced cream.. 5.90 (doesn't count because it's technically coffee!! >__<)
TOTAL 17.90
ALL TOGETHER
16.94 + 5.40 + 17.90 = 40.24
My biggest food weakness is emotional turmoil and a 'what the hey..' thought pattern when I think about life's atrocities and actually doing things. Life can suck ASS. Like it can really go dark and black and hellish, and it's taking me a long time to accept that about the world. It really truly is. I look around at people and want to yell so many things, like, are they aware? I often fantasise about gathering a fucking army and raiding every single house in Australia (for kidnapped people, prisoners, stolen goods, treasure), then moving overseas. Flush out the entire world. EXTERMINATE.
I watched a snippet of a film once where a lady had been kept in the trunk of a car for a few days, and then when I drove home I looked at all the parked cars and felt like tapping on each boot, just in case.
It's uncertainty. You never know. It's scary and makes me seek comfort in food.
ALRIGHTY THEN.
Basically, summed up: negative emotions like anxiety make me think 'fuck it' and indulge in the junk foods. Most of them time I am totally fine about life because I know I am not responsible and feel able to help if need arises. Sometimes, though, I stumble upon a horrible article or remember something gross, and I feel the sinking despair all over again.
Because there's no solution to the global crisis that I alone, as one human being, can do to solve it all, I will have to learn to hone my own smaller personal world so that I don't do the emotional eating when little issues arise, such as gigantic spiders or family drama. Like, 'any excuse will do, right?' ^_^.
Today I bought a pack of single serve orange juices to carry around for the next few days in case of low sugars. It's well known that orange juice picks up sugars fast, and I have noticed that my blood sugars seem to become unstable around my womanly time, probably from hormonal thingaroos, so I am Preparing It Up. Doing the Adult Life.
It's all happening here people! All of it! And maybe even some more than that.
I want to do this healthy thing. It goes: buy a batch of fruit, cut them up into a salad, then eat one serving a day. However, I only have fifty dollars to last me ALL this week and the next, until the second Thursday, and while I've got some money in my account, I'm trying not to spend it at all. Well, at all this week. I'd like to get to the pay week and have some money left over.
The food situation:
Food in my freezer:
4x frozen meals
1x soup
1x ice cream container of soup
1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
1x slice of bacon
2x pasta salads
5x snack bags of frozen peas
1x quarter of puff pastry
2x fish
Food in my fridge:
1x
1x half dozen eggs
1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
1x quarter of apple cider vinegar
Food in pantry:
1x three quarters of jar of peanutshitbutter
1x whole bag unopened of brown rice YES IT'S STILL THERE
1x bottle half of olive oil
1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
1x half a jar of forest berry jam
2x cloves of garlic
And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
1x half pkt of weetbix
1x quarter of Robert Timms coffee
1x half a vial of ground cinnamon
1x half vegemite jar
1x three quarters beef stock powder gluten free
1x jar of pickled veg that I will not eat nor know what to do with as it was a present from my mum and no one else wants it
1x half jar or crystalised honey
1x pure green tea box
1x English Breakfast tea box
Food in basket:
2x onions that have been there for about two
1x orange
From the parentals:
4x containers of one-serve cake and custard. Woohoo! But also, does it count as junk if I didn't buy it??
Food tally for the five days
BREAKFASTS
~ 2 hard boiled eggs
~ 2 peanut butter toasts
~ Zucchini slice
~ Zucchini slice
~ Oats with cinnamon, yoghurt and blueberries
LUNCHES
~ 2 peanut butter toast
~ Toasted butter sandwich, green chicken curry
~ Slider burgers
~ Toasted butter sandwich
~ Slice of toast, broccoli and potato soup
DINNERS
~ Hamburger with the lot
~ Roast beef dinner with potatoes, carrots and peas
~ Cucumber sandwich
~ ginormous amounts of Sushi before a nap/ or none
~ Roast potato, carrot and peas
SNACKS
~ Cashews
~ Yoghurt
~ A carrot
~ Jatz crackers
~ Tuna salad
~ oats and yoghurt
~ brown toast with marmalade
SWEETS
~ allens lollies party mix
~ freddo frog chocolate
~ peanut m&ms
~ the sexiest panna cotta ever
~ Iced coffee (sigh) ((For those who don't know... I LOVE Iced Coffees. It's everything in one: hardass cold coffee to hit you awake, creamy icecream to give the coffee a gradual sweet taste, and whipped cream for the pleasure unknown to man that can only be delivered in whipped cream form. Fuck YES)).
~ Anzac cookie
~ Sugar cookie (gf, like a meringue)
~ Caramel popcorn
~ Mango smoothie (it sounds nice and tasted even better, but it's probably loaded with ice cream and sugary yoghurt etc)
~ chocolate milkshake
~ little chocolate cake
Well! Now that I've properly warmed up for this healthy challenge... let the games begin!
^__^v
I love it alll!! So good!!! LETS DO THIS THINGGG
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