'Where did you take it back to?'

Day 9 is the reason I packed my bags, jumped on board, and ate as much of what the airlines call 'roast chicken' as my little tummy would allow

Basically it is failure in the most failurey way possible. The MOST WAY. ALL THE FAILURE. HAVE A TIME.

Ok...

Back it up.

Yesterday I went furniture shopping because I got it into my head that I was going to buy a bedside table. I went on a rampage through the google. Found a shop and liked what I saw. So, I marched on down and Fell In Love with a bedside table in an entirely different shop altogether.

It was expensive. 

Then I went to another shop and Fell Into Infatuation with a bookcase so big and solid and divine I wanted to set up camp and sleep in it. I thought 'none of the shelves on that motha will collapse on me', and when you talk about a world gone mad, all you really want is stability in all things, namely the dairy foods you consume and the furniture that you store 45 kilo books on.

So!

I woke up today thinking, 'I will do this. I will buy these magical things'. I arranged some finances which I never do, and I set off with the aim to only buy the one bedside table. By 4pm, I had paid 1,700 for a bedside table, a wardrobe (the only piece of furniture that I actually need as I don't have one), and that motha of a bookcase.

Then I got full-blown trauma.

Panic spread from my feet to my head. I started shaking. I had a mini meltdown in the bank that saw me sobbing into my cash while I madly called one of my closest friends who had to listen to me garble as I fled blindly to my car.

My chest grew tight, my head felt light, sound faded away until I was in my car, trembling, talking, and trying to make sense of what I was doing.

Why was I paying obscene amounts of money for furniture I didn't need?

Well, I did need them, in a general reality kind of way. The top two shelves of my current IKEA bookcase house only one stack of DVDs, three jars of pens/pencils, and a paintable gnome because they are at risk of crumbling again. The first time anything crumbled was when I was reading on my bed. All of a sudden I heard a massive crash, looked up to see all four of my shelves in a pile along with all of my books that I had arranged in order not long before. A few weeks later my other IKEA bookcase did the same. Now, it's not IKEA's fault that I have too many damn books. It's not IKEA's fault that I had to nail in all my shelves- some upside down due to the bowed shape- with actual nails so that some nails stick out or have split the wood, wind hideous black duct tape around both of them, and pray to god every single day that none of them repeat their little escapade.

As it was, the second IKEA shelf/cabinet setup has never been stable ever since because the outer planks are so bowed with weight that they no longer stand up straight regardless how much tape I use, therefore the shelves inside barely touch the shelf-holder thingies. NOT TO MENTION, some of those shelf-holder thingies have just up and left, never to be seen again.

It's attitude like this that spoil it for the rest of the pieces. Everything has to do its job. 

Yes. And another thing. The money I used was NOT intended for fun-furniture-spree-having. There was a purpose for why I had it, even if it is a way in the future, and now that it's gone I am having heart-failure after heart-failure at how close I was to achieving the goal and how long it's now going to take me to get back there.

But not to worry! It will be sorted asap. I'm nothing if not devoted to a plan.

Foods I ate today

Let's not be too judgy here and remember that I was in amidst trauma of the highest degree. That being, the trauma of the spontaneous and quite mysterious Zero Bank Balance in the aftermath of a careless day out at the shops, much like that of a bored housewife.

8.02 am - three weetbix with one cut up orange banana, black coffee. Yes it was orange, on the inside. I did feel as though I was eating space fruit, and it was not pleasant at all.

some water of some degree

10.30 - half a packet of lollies, one bottle of orange juice, half a tuna and salad subway due to THE LOWEST BLOOD SUGAR KNOWN TO MAN

11.54 - one white coffee

1.25 pm - four biscuits mum made with ice magic somehow worked into the biscuit part, one white coffee

half a bottle of water

5.30 - spinach and feta cannelloni at fasta psata with nanna, three quarters of a chocolate eclair 

three glasses of water

8.00 - a bit more of the eclair

I weigh

8.00 am Morning - 51.2

10.00 pm Evening - 52.1

So it's all very confusing and irrelevant, after a while

Exercise I have done today

None, unless you count the heavy lifting or racing here and there

Water consumed

half a bottle, three glasses, some of some degree

Amen