Monday 27 November 2017

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Day 27 is hello, I'd like to order your pumpkiniest pumpkin spiced vanilla caramel latte and finally make my presence known to such an abomination
Yes.
Hello there!
All the way from LAST WHENEVER IT WAS I THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE.
How's it going?

Ok. Let's be real. This challenge is balls up hard. The hardest of the hard. No! Harder than that! THE HARDEST.
You know what? I am FLABBERGASTED as to how much shit I eat, literally all the time. I have never once put in here 'grilled fish and steamed vegetables' or 'roast chicken with veg' or 'chicken and noodle stir-fry'.
Man.
On the other hand, my room is coming along superbly. I have almost finished sorting all my beading stuff, which is a lot of beads, and arranged all the piles of stuff I own into storage boxes so I can breathe all the calm and yen and lotus flower and water trickling through the soft supple fingers of an eighteen year old virgin.
It's amazing how a space of organised clean can leak on out into other areas of your life. Today my working shifts were also of the superb variety, and that means: flowing calmly like an oriental river, smooth, with precision, and maybe with a couple of pink cherry blossom petals floating serenely on top. I certainly did my best to look serene and pink and like I had just elegantly fallen from a really tall branch.
So, having witnessed all the adventure of the above, I realised that I need to seriously get my shit together with the food. I need to stop dallying about in the grocery store, feeling all orgasmic and nancy over the aisles of heavenly choice, the bliss of potential, and the never-ending ever-coming dreaded Receipt of Purchase.

PLAN:
1. Write out a list of the foods I actually eat. Not what I like to eat, or want to eat, or feel like eating at the time of writing. A list of foods I continuously eat all the time. Like bread and caster sugar.

2. Modify list to cut out any junk. Add in foods that I like and will actually eat if readily available (eg, cooked broccoli and salmon steaks).

3. Buy the same ingredients every shop for four shops. Just four. Not a whole month because a whole month sounds like a very long time, and you will end up doing what you are currently doing, which is NOTHING. Just four minuscule shops. Out of your entire existence. Which could end tomorrow, but you know what I mean.

4. Make a time every week to food prep. Just one day a week. Food prep. Done.

5. Eat food. Feel fabulous. Win at life.

6. Woohoo! ^_^


~So let's work backwards again!

Foods I have eaten today - Monday
5.10 am - one vegemite sandwich, black coffee
One white coffee
Two glasses of water
7 ish - one bread with marmalade because I thought I felt hungry
one glass of water
9.10 - white coffee, butter toasty, little packet of cheese and onion chips
12.15 pm - all the beef burger pieces left in the pan (probs two handfuls) with onion sauce, and some broccoli, carrot and pumpkin
one glass of water
one glass of water
3.05 - one white coffee
4.00 - one little packet of chicken chips
some bottle water
7.00 - a bowl of ice cream with ice magic >__<

Exercise I have done today
Guys, must we do this? We all know what the deal is here

Water I have consumed today
5 glasses and some bottled water


Foods I ate yesterday - Sunday
9 ish am - I think it was vegemite on toast but I can't be sure it wasn't oats with the scrapings of yoghurt, black coffee
11 ish - white coffee
Some toast in here?
12 ish pm - one roll of beef teriyaki sushi and one roll of cooked salmon sushi
3.00 ish - white coffee
one of my gluten free cupcake monstrosities made with runnyish overly-pink frosting and a dollop of deformed cream on top
6.13 - the last of the pasta napoliana
PROBABLY A LOT OF WATERS IN HERE
--- some xmas chocolates I bought earlier today that I intend to give as presents...

Exercise I have done today

Waters I have consumed yesterday
Most probably a lot


Foods I ate the day before yesterday - Saturday
6.40 ish am - scrapings of yoghurt with oats? black coffee
8.00 - one white coffee
10.00 - white coffee, butter toasty
12.30 pm - little slice of honeycomb cheesecake
water
2.30 - white coffee
4.00 ish - two butter toasts
IT'S ALL BUTTER TOAST
8.00 ish - one cupcake monstrosity that I baked today
some powerade drink
a few sips of coffee
12.14 am the next day - bowl of pasta napoliana

Food I have purchased this week
GROCERY
The ONLY receipt I can find is the one for the xmas chocolates   ^__^(sweat drop here)

26/11/17 Sunday
Chocolate confectionery x4 = 7.96
TOTAL                                      7.96

Well.

25/11/17 Saturday (from memory)
Bread  2.99
Twisties  2.89?
Powerade drink  2.49
Fruit salad container  4.99
Cousous that I left out in the kitchen for twelve hours today..  4.99
Icing mixture  Not a clue. 2.89?
Maybe something else
TOTAL                                            21.24  that sounds about right 

EXTRAS
2 rolls of one salmon sushi and one teriyaki beef sushi  5.60
one gigantic christmas rumball  2.80?
2x packets of chips  4.00
1 packet of cheezles  2.00
TOTAL                                                14.40


ALL TOGETHER     
7.96 + 21.24 + 14.40 = 43.60

The food situation:
Food in my freezer:
   4x frozen meals
   1x soup
   1x ice cream container of soup
   1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
   1x slice of bacon
   2x pasta salads
   3x snack bags of frozen peas
   1x quarter of puff pastry
   2x fish
   2x containers if cut up watermelon
   6x slices of bread

Food in my fridge:
   1x 3 quarters carton of milk
   2 eggs
   1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
   1x quarter of apple cider vinegar
   1x zucchini slice
   2x kiwi fruit
   3x containers of cut up pineapple
   1 mango
   3x containers of brown rice and chickpea mixture
   1x large bowl of plain brown rice
   1x whole cucumber
   1x three quarters of apple juice
   1x punnet of strawberries
   1x half loaf of bread

Food in pantry:
   1x three quarters of jar of peanutshitbutter
   1x half bag of brown rice
   1x bottle half of olive oil
   1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
   1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
   1x  half a jar of forest berry jam
   2x cloves of garlic  
   1 new clove of garlic
   And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
   1x half quarter pkt of weetbix
   1x quarter of Robert Timms coffee
   1x half a vial of ground cinnamon
   1x half vegemite jar
   1x three quarters beef stock powder gluten free
   1x jar of pickled veg that I will not eat nor know what to do with as it was a present from my mum and no one else wants it
   1x half jar or crystalised honey
   1x half a freddo frog chocolate block that I will give to my parents tomorrow
   1x pure green tea box
   1x ginger and apple tea box
   1x English Breakfast tea box

Food in basket:
   2x onions that have been there for about two weeks months
   1x orange
   3x bananas
   2x apples
   2x new unbelievably old onions


Food tally for the period  13/11/17 to 27/11/17 fuck me
BREAKFASTS
~ oats with blueberries, yoghurt, and cinnamon
~ one zucchini slice
~ oats with yoghurt, and cinnamon
~ oats with yoghurt, and cinnamon
~ maybe oats, maybe toast
~ two toasts with peanut butter or vegemite SLIPPIN YO ASS
~ two toasts with vegemite
~ oats with cinnamon and yoghurt OR two toasts with something
~ oats with yoghurt, and cinnamon
~ oats with yoghurt and cut up mango
~ oats with yoghurt
~ oats with yoghurt
~ scrapings of yoghurt and oats
~ or was it here that I had scrapings of yoghurt with oats, or was it toast?
~ one vegemite sandwich


LUNCHES
~ some chicken kiev and pumpkin
~ half a cucumber sandwich, six dried apricots, two chocolate bars
~ two toasts with butter
~ little bowl of cut up sausages in gravy
~ hmmmmm
~ beef burger with egg, onion, cheese
~ two toasts with butter or half a vegemite sandwich
~ little bowl of pork steaks with mushroom sauce, and a piece of sponge cake
~ plain butter toasty
~ beef yiros with tomato, lettuce and hommus
~ massive bowl of pasta napoliana
~ bowl of beef burgers with onion sauce, pumpkin, carrots and broccoli
Bros, work and their meat menu is literally saving my iron-deficient ass. Power to em
~ two butter toasts
~ two sushi rolls
~ beef  burgers with onion and broccoli, pumpkin and carrot

DINNERS
~ a bowl of watermelon
~ 3/4 packet of chips, a few jelly beans FUCK ME WHAT
~ a few mouthfuls of plain rice
~ two toasts with butter
~ well
~ two meat pies that were very nice
~ BenHur's burger! Yumeroo!
~ one raspberry cup and one choc mousse cup, one pringle can
~ barnacle bill fish dinner
~ ready made meal of peri peri chicken
~ salmon steak with broccoli and potato
~ one packet of cheezles?
~ bowl of napoliana pasta
~ bowl of napoliana pasta
~ ice cream and ice magic

The problem is, is that I never have a set dinner time. When I was growing up dinner was always at 6pm sharp. Obviously when I escaped the nest I rebelled hardcore, sometimes eating at gasp TEN P M. So I can't tell if my 4pm two toasts are tea, or if my 11pm feast from the gods is the actual tea.
This is my life.

SNACKS
~ toast with vegemite
~ brown rice with garlic, onion and spices
~ AND ANOTHER THING. I eat something like brown rice etc at 2pm in the afternoon which is snack time, so I record it as a snack, and then I eat watermelon at 8pm, which is tea time so I record that as tea, and so, there you have the true reason behind my madness.
~ half a cucumber sandwich
~ dried apricots
~ peas
~ jatz crackers
~ half vegemite sandwich
~ jelly
~ banana
~ yoghurt

SWEETS
~ ice cream with ice magic
~ chips
~ jelly beans
~ lemonade
~ custard and jelly bowl
~ chicken chips
~ raspberry custard cup
~ chocolate mousse cup
~ sour cream pringles
~ roses chocolates
~ canned peaches
~ ice cream with ice magic
~ round apple teacake
~ packet of cheezles
~ chocolate rum ball
~ chocolate bar
~ one packet of twisties
~ slice of honeycomb cheesecake
~ two cupcake monstrosities
~ four xmas chocolates
~ one packet of cheese chips
~ one packet of chicken chips
~ bowl of ice cream and ice magic

AMEN

Running on four hours of sleep after a ten hour day.. ANOTHER thing I must fix... U__@💖

1 comment:

  1. Man this challenge was hard - and harder for you because you wanted to go all healthy and all that shiz. But tbh, it's good isn't it, to have this insight into our diet and actually really come to heads with it all. And you've been honest about it all, and now you're the wiser for it. Good job chap, good job all round!

    ReplyDelete