Am I only on my second?

THIS IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE:

 

 



~I'm not obsessed, I'm just optimistically defying life's realities.
Once, I had a magical night filled with gnomes and singing and drinking beer. Once, I saw a gnome jiggy his leg to the beat. Once, I almost broke the toilet roll dispenser.
Once, it all made sense.
Then the lights got brighter, and the tastes got sharper and the world seemed to yell out intrusive instructions.
~Just play along.
0_--
On a more relatable level, I now want to play guitar and sing in dimly lit rooms. I'd like to be able to toast people when the occasion calls for it with purple liquid in tall, gold-rimmed champagne flutes, like it means something- and it doesn't matter if what I say doesn't mean anything because people will be too mesmerised by the gold and the purple, and they'll wonder what exactly the purple liquid is while simultaneously questioning their safety.
And I'll feel a little disheartened by this.
Do I not look trustworthy?
~My pet Dragon says I look like I need a back massage, but he wont give me one. He says he'll compromise and just breathe fire onto my feet. And I point out, in a kind fashion like I always do, that this would burn my feet to a crisp, and although it's a tremendously kind display of friendship, I need my feet.
He frowns and tells me where he'll breathe next if I don't shut up.
What a loser!
~~~~~ [I'm now running really fast and typing, and I feel grateful that I made him eat 'grow' marshmallows and that he's now so very fat he can hardly fit through any of my doorways. YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR ELEVEN AND A QUARTER HOURS BEFORE YOU CAN CATCH ME! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR EATING EVERYTHING I GIVE YOU!]
And really, who is the victim here?