Is it wrong to eat ice cream at midnight?

There was this horrendous noise like rumbling thunder and firing cannons and somewhere further out even a screeching of a cat, which was rather odd considering the circumstances but merited nonetheless, and then suddenly a figure emerged from the ground all at once.
"Bloody HELL!" the figure screamed in a high voice.
She brushed dirt off her ancient-looking blouse and skirts combination, looking like she'd just spent a few good years inside a vacuum cleaner. She stamped her boots and shook her head so her frazzled and frayed hair stood about the place.
A black cat slinked around her ankles. She said: "I must have been down there for centuries!"
She turned around and clomped heavily into a little wooden cottage nearby and snatched up the old, white (but now coated entirely grey of dust and cobwebs) rotary phone and called her sister down in Dulwich.
"Myrtle! You wouldn't believe it!" she exclaimed down the line. "I've just come up from the earth!"
"The earth!?" came Myrtle's astonished reply. "Whatever for?"
"Search me!" the woman boomed. "Fancy some tea?"
"But Ederdall! You're all the way up East! It would take me almost four minutes to get there, and that's if the wind isn't kicking up another tantrum! You saw what happened to ol-"
"I was in the Earth Myrtle! The Earth!"
"Oh yes, good heavens," Myrtle muttered as Ederdall sat down a bit too fast on a little round stool that was lower than she had remembered it being.
"Well why on earth were you down there in the first place?" asked Myrtle, unable to hide the annoyance she was feeling at missing her favourite night-time television show. Surely Ederdall could hold off on being a drama queen for one day, couldn't she?
"Ahh, Myrtle..." chuckled Ederdall. "Always with the puns..."
"You were visiting uncle Herbal again weren't you?" Myrtle said in accusation.
Ederdall asked: "What year is it, Lemon Rind?"
Myrtle sighed, "2017, and don't call me lemon rind. It's offensive to all lemons and you know it."
Ederdall chuckled again. It sure was good to be back! How she had missed her sisters scoldings, and her little familiar's looks of disdain.
As if reading her mind, Myrtle asked sharply, "Is Briar there with you still? Or have you gone and lost him somewhere too?"
"Oh you chipped old cauldron! Worrying will give you warts, and we all know what happened to Avalon-"
"Such tragedy among one so young!"
"It surely was. Listen," Ederdall lowered her voice and looked about as though someone or something was listening in. "I haven't seen Beatrice for a while, have you? I believe she's up to something funny."
There was a sound like a balloon bursting and then Myrtle yelled rather too loudly for their modern phone conversation, "I'M COMING NOW, EDER BEE! FARELIE HAS JUST GONE INSANE- YES INSANE YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU NONSENSE OF A CHILD! I'M TAKING THE CUSTARD WITH ME AND DON'T YOU DARE FOLLOW! -CAN YOU HEAR ME, EDERS? I'M COMING NOW."
Ederdall rolled her eyes. "Don't shout for heavens christ Myrtle. I have just came up from the Earth, not a Zysznel concert!"
"Oh you can hear me! Good! Don't leave out your chickens, and for the love of pumpkin pie BRING IN YOUR WEATHERVANE, the clouds and rain and wind are doing god knows up there toni-"
"My what?" Ederdall asked in complete bewilderment. Had her sister gone mad?
"Your- Weather- Vane!" Myrtle called out slowly.
"Myrtle I am not retarded, but I have no idea why you think I still own one."
There was a shocked silence. "But how have you been boiling your kettle and using the television? How is this phone even working?"
"This is the Modern Age, sister, and besides, I haven't needed to boil a kettle since 1921. I'll put on some newt eye stew for when you get here."
"Oh Ederdall, how have you been living? No, never mind! I'm on my way! I'll sort it all out for you. See you in three."
There was a clank as Myrtle hung up and Ederdall left her receiver on the stool while she went into the kitchen to light her candelabra and check the calendar.
"Chrimey!" she declared in annoyed surprise. "It's my birthday today!"


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