Fact I put all but ONE of my towels on the outside line to dry two days ago and have just now realised that I still have not taken them down
Fact The other towel is sitting on the kitchen floor as I used it to dry parts of the floor after mopping
Fact I need a shower tonight, this very minute, and have a growing suspicion that there is only two small square hand towels left to use.
INSERT RADICAL, SEXUAL ANIME OF YOUR CHOICE!!!
Why are all anime 'washing in the bathroom' scenes so squeaky, soapy clean?
Moving on...
Today was a magical day involving vegetarian pizza, pouring a cup of oil all over my engine because YOLO, driving to a bank only to discover that the bank does not exist in this state even though the map said it did, preparing my delightful human form for the coffee bliss that every person in the world should experience at LEAST daily and then un-preparing because TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN YO, coming to terms with the unsocialising hermit crab that I really am, admiring how well I blend in to society with my human disguise, stretching my claws and walking sideways for a brief period of time to reminisce about the olden days while strengthening my leg muscles, giving my food a fun show-ride experience in my car for free, wondering if anyone buys a two-pack of cheesecake with the intention to only actually eat one of them, and, lastly but just as fun, spending a good chunk of my day saying fuck and blowing my nose.
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Something that changed my life today: Organic Peanut Butter.
Yes
This is a thing.
Ok, so I'm not religious or a nut job (eheheheheh) or an extreme health conscious person wanting to spout nonsense in other people's faces but organic peanut butter is the SHIT. The Shit. If shit could walk around and enter health food shops from the back door (oozing in a sliding way, of course), modify itself to lose all it's shittier bits at once and replace those bits with delicious peanuty bits, then slide on over to the shelf holding the 'Natural Selection' of pretty much every food known out there, knock off the peanut butters in some assassinistic way and pour itself into each of their containers, I'm telling you....
It would be an oil fest.
100 per cent perfection- but I just realised that what I'm actually experiencing is a euphoric state brought about by the oil.
Can this be true?
I'm not sure.
SO! I bought some chocolate biscuits earlier on, to use a dipping tool into this TUB OF DELICIOUSNESS, and I plan to do this in the very near future. Possibly while I lay in bed and watch more Clannad, but this could be uncertain given that I have been telling myself for the past month 'Get out of yo bed, go for a run, and do life'.
Cheers, past me, what a blast.
Can I be totally hypnotized by peanut oil? Is this even healthy for me? Will I stop eating organic peanut butter now that I am not mesmerized by its seductive mysterious nature? Who knows!?
A secret Sometimes I go into autopilot, but my autopilot pilot has gone away for the weekend to fish or whatever, and so even though I know I should be doing things and I am actually doing things, it just looks like I'm reenacting a caveman who knocks into walls, stubs his toe, spills his drink every single time he drinks anything, and waits for about five seconds before replying in a conversation due to bewilderment that he's even in a conversation and a part of his brain trying to work out how to leave the conversation.
I reckon people must think I live in a restaurant because I constantly smell like food. Constantly. There is a small window of relief whenever I exit a shower, but even now after a day off work and only having reheated two hot soup meals, I STILL smell the food aroma. It's not even a pleasant one. It just smells like a bunch of cooked vegetables.
A Plan I'm really into trying to save money these days so I have come up with 'No Spend September' where I will spend money on rent/mortgage, bills, into my super, petrol, and a small amount of groceries, and nothing else.
Things I will not buy
- My weekly ice cream at the petrol station when filling up on petrol... ;'( Man, I LOVE those things. They are my EXISTENCE, as well as a few good people and all the faeries I have ever met, the faeries and people I have sketched, the monsters I've sewn, the stories I've ever written and all the characters I've tried to flesh out on the page, those magical spontaneous moments that come from nowhere, singing to music really loudly in the car with other people, smiling at strangers, watching someone blow bubbles and chase them, and a MILLION other things. There are millions of things! Like how I need to create Vincent's house, and go back to where I wrote ANOTHER character who was also called Vincent and see if there is a resemblance or if they are two entirely different people who could possibly share the love of custard tarts and watching football in the rain...
- Actually, to be 1000 per cent honest here, the ice creams aren't that great at all. They will have to go.
- Random chips to snack on while watching tv. I will try to drink water instead, or hot herbal teas.
- Random chocolates.
- Overpriced groceries. Ideally I would be shopping at only the Pasadena Foodland or the Frewville Foodland. They are literally the best thing since sliced bread, and when you think about it, how great is sliced bread without all that 'getting out a knife and cutting a crooked slice with a lump halfway through and a really thin end that impedes the butter knife and makes the butter pool or catch in different areas when being spread so you either bite into a whole chunk of butter and Vegemite or a whole chunk of plain bread or nothing at all, which leaves you feeling disjointed and annoyed at the whole world and everything in it, but you can't admit that when someone at work asks you why you look so pissed because it's a lame reason so you have to then create a scenario that seems half-what plausible, which makes you even more enraged because you then have to remember this scenario for others at work for the WHOLE DAY and by the time you get home you're so engulfed with this web of lies you have created that you down half a bottle of Jack and pass out in the bathtub'? All The Great. Sliced bread allow you to enjoy your day. And so do my Foodlands.
- HOWEVER
- There is a need to shop around and do the whole 'price check' thing that makes my brain feel like it's being stretched over an ironing board and steam-cleaned by a large, robust-looking Russian woman with a large moustache that would make a fortune in show biz and a full flask of vodka in her apron pocket.
- But if steam-cleaning my brain helps me get through this month of spring with more savings and less home loan, then so be it!
- Um, where was I?
- Yes, there is some debate about using public transport. As I get up at 5am a lot of mornings to be at work by 6am, I feel there is no need to stand out in the cold at about 3am to catch two buses and possibly one taxi so I can get to work by 6, so I'll keep petrol and my car in the challenge.
Things I Will Buy
- As outlined above, I will pay my bills, which in Septermber means my car Rego, a gas bill, one lot of phone credit and possibly a phone/internet bill.
- Petrol, that is basically 30 dollars each hit, and in a fortnight I can put 30 in one week and 40 in the other depending on how much driving I do.
- Mortgage and rent, and for me that is 400 a fortnight and 275 a fortnight respectively.
- Super is 50 a fortnight
- And groceries. Now, I am willing to try and spend 19.20 on groceries each week because I am only buying them for myself. That could be enough to get me bread, eggs, few bits of fruit, milk, yoghurt, a packet of frozen veggies, etc. I won't starve and I don't have to stick to that amount, but it's that amount for a reason and I will see if I can do it!
And that is all.
I may need the dentist and it may be a wonderfully hideous time where I feel the wrath of the dentist up close and gloved, but until that time and as long as my health holds out I will embark on this challenge.
Although, now that I'm writing about it I feel an incredible urge NOT to do it.
My brain is all like-- Scrubbing the back of itself using a loofah and then suddenly 'DON'T TAKE THE CHALLENGE, IT'S DUMB AND STUPID AND YOU REALLY DO NEED TO LIVE BY YOLO BECAUSE YOLO IS ALL THERE IS UNTIL TOMORROW! OREO'S ARE GREAT! WATCHING TV WHILE CHOWING DOWN A WHOLE PACKET OF CHEESIES IS EVEN GREATER! ICE CREAMS ARE THE BEEEEEEEST OMFG DO I HAVE TO COME OUT THERE AND WHOOP YOU ONE?? I WILL DO IT! I WILL NEED TO TAKE MY GLASSES OFF AND DO SOME STRETCHES, BUT YOU WILL GET A WHOOPING SON, JUST YO-
That One Time Where My Brain Used It's Outside Voice Inside My Head.
See you in Septermber!! (@__--)
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view but it's not sane
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