Sunday 9 July 2017

Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Cerri says:

"Rainbow mosaic flower vases, dream catchers, coffee in a variety of strength and taste, and red. That is my day."

Red was a big theme. At the hospital it was the Physiotherapists blouse. In the car it was the colour I felt most, being rage, and maybe even out-of-control like a bull who charges at a waving red cloth, even though we all know it's not the colour but the waving which attracts the bulls attention. It was the colour on the take away bag that the shop assistant gave me to store the flowers in because the stems were poking through the plastic bag and, therefore, dripping water on the cafe floor, therefore spiraling me even further own Alice's rabbit hole of chaotic disaster. Red is the colour of a ball of wool sitting on my over-cluttered desk, a collection of random books covers mixed in with a suitcase full of books I lugged to my car and piled neatly on the seat as a means of storage, and the little light on my bar heater that I am using to dry my only comfortable pair of work pants so I can wear them tomorrow. And lastly, it is the colour theme of Youtube, which is trying it's hardest to calm my horrified soul at the destruction and positively traumatic state of my bedroom as I try to get about six months of mouse stuff out of it.

Six months.

I'll just let that sink in.

Yes, it is rather terrifying, isn't it? It does induce a rising feeling akin to that of a total meltdown frenzy, doesn't it? 

Not only did I find a layer of mouse droppings under my bookshelf- because these days furniture is built with that thin space at the bottom, FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT PURPOSE, and it's designed in such a way that the space faces the wall so insects and rodents can build an entire ecosystem and live in it for about, oh I don't know, eternity- I also found droppings under another cupboard with the exact same space setup, and am only just finding out this very minute that my wardrobe has an EVEN BIGGER SPACE under it where MULTIPLE MICE have pretty much fouled up the entire unit from underneath, middle, to top.

I won't even mention the smell I noticed upon breaking some wood off the bottom of my wardrobe so I could peek in. 

Not even going to mention the state of the carpet under there. Or basically the entire carpet of my entire room.

Red is the colour of a mild heart attack.

So I have a mouse invasion! Pretty neat! Amazingly adventurous! I can and will totally kick this mouse or mice family back out into the wild where it/they belong and completely cleanse my room in some sort of wiccan/witchy/spiritual/smudgey sage stick way, but also with lots of action, possible tears, loss of sweat, and a massive dose of blaringly-loud Talking Head songs on repeat.

The Plan
1. Knock down the wardrobe, store clothes on a temporary clothes rack thing, clean and vacuum under wardrobe. Try to block this event from my memory.

2. Get copper wool, or something like dish steel wool stuff, and plug the hole- YES! A HOLE! RIGHT IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM FOR EVERY MOUSE AND MOUSE FRIEND AND OTHER FURRY TYPE FRIEND TO JUST COME WALTZING IN FROM AND SET UP SHOP WITHOUT PAYING RENT AND WITH THE AUDACITY TO EAT ALL THE MIDDLES OUT OF MY CUPCAKE PATTIES. 

3. Set up a good few mouse traps with mouse-appetising foods like twisties, peanut butter and chocolate.

4. Shop around, find wardrobe with either no bottom space or really tall legs, buy wardrobe, lug wardrobe home, set up, take nap, wake and admire said wardrobe.
- Chuck out all of my clothes
- Buy all new clothes
- Chuck out all my furniture except the table my dad made
- Buy ALL NEW furniture: two large bookcases in white, one bedside table with drawers in white, one cabinet with drawers devoted ENTIRELY to lady undergarments 
- Roll around in all this money I have somehow acquired
- Cry into a mug of hot cocoa with melting marshmallows because I really liked all my odd furniture, it had memories, and I'm a sensitive, sentimental soul who collects things upon a whim, and I really, really, don't like slimy melting marshmallows in my drink and why does life have to be so unfair

 Other Things I Did Today That Pale In Comparison To My Mouse Drama (In order of appearance)
*Wobbled as I knelt down to pick up a spilled container of butter portions at work and had to steady myself. (THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR LATER)
*Noticed that there was a GIGANTIC SPIDER ON THE FLOOR WHERE I WAS WORKING
-WHERE I HAD JUST WOBBLED
--JUST SITTING THERE WITH A BENT LEG
---IT COULD POSSIBLY BE BROKEN
----WHY, I COULD HAVE BROKEN IT... WHEN I WOBBLED AND SAT CASUALLY BUT QUICKLY ONTO THE GROUND
----- I.... COULD.... HAVE.... SAT.... ON.... A.... SPIDER.... 
*Rang up a lady in a different area to come and deal with it for me. ^__^
*Bought two coffees from a vending machine. Now this is where I absolutely draw the line. FIRSTLY, they had no lids. So there I was, holding a bunch of flowers between my arm and side while holding two open, hot, dangerously close to the top coffees, and I had to keep stopping to inch my fingers up the cup to that millimeter or so of free space (and here we have another object with a space issue, one I prepared earlier, cleverly put together, affordable, pleasing to the eye, but it's just missing that something... 3/10!!).
SECONDLY, after making my way down the long, winding hallways at a snails pace in an awkward crab-like position, I decided to sip my coffee so as to reduce the amount of awkwardness I was giving off in general, and that was a mistake.
Vending machine coffee is the worst. I don't understand how it can be so bad when it's literally just Nescafe blend. What is Nescafe putting in their vending machine blend? What are they even doing? How are they living their lives?
So I ditched those cups asap and legged it to a freshly brewed cafe where I paid for two decent coffees and one custard tart that I knocked on the ground before being able to eat, and let me tell you. That first sip was heaven. Not entirely as heavenly as my Peterbae's smell, and not quite as heavenly as realising you don't have to wake up and go to work the next day, but close enough.
Plus it was rainy, cloudy, and cold outside, and that just makes really great coffee and sitting in a chair all the better.
*Does anyone else think they see something move out of the corner of their eye all the time lately? Or is it just me? 
*Meal-prepped like a boss. Nine meals consisting of brown rice, broccoli, carrot, potato, sweet potato and pumpkin are all ready to go or freeze. Add chicken or chickpea, onion and garlic mix as you like.
* Turned my laptop off and on because, once again, my mouse-pad glitches and stops working, thus freezing the whole computer.

Cerri says:

"I feel like spontaneously combusting, but I think I can hold it in for another day. By doing small things that matter, such as a load of washing, a load of dishes, and moving a pile of stuff out of my room to make space (once again: more is less!) every day, I can gradually chip away at this massively, hideously, outrageously too big task looming before me and complete it with ease and without losing my mind."

*(^_^)* 

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