Hello there!
A quick note: I have not taken this challenge seriously at all. Huehuehueeeeeeee
Something true: What I have taken seriously is every single person suffering in every single part of the globe, particularly girls sold into the sex slave trade.
~ It's a real problem
Scenario: I will be randomly driving along the road in the sunshine listening to music, when suddenly the thought of any poor girl in that heinous position will flit through my mind, causing me a great deal of anguish, guilt, and disgust. I feel utterly helpless to do anything for them- being just one small girl myself- and I feel bucket-loads of extreme guilt. How dare I be allowed to live this comfortable modern life while others on the planet are suffering so? I have taken no part in their suffering yet I am haunted.
~~ So.. it's a Real Problem
Must I make peace with my situation and accept the ying-yang of life in all its essence, believing that somehow whatever greater being above or around has a 'grand plan'? Must I take a philosophy class and absorb all religious/philosophical content while also partaking in hours of soul meditation and god-like levels of serenity?
The Reality of Life: How To Deal With Terrible Situations That Have Nothing To Do with you But Could If Only You Tried Hard Enough
Further on, my plants are growing massively! They are now three times the size they were in previous posts when I was lugging them about the place. I no longer lug these days, I just chug. Mouthfuls of strongass coffee. HUEHUEHUE.
But in all realness that is entirely 84% less real then my last post will ever be, sometimes you just want to chug a really bombass coffee and there is none so you die a little on the inside. And sometimes you just need to clean your house, knit your hat, and scroll through pinterest until your fingers cramp.
6TH SEPTEMBER [THURSDAY]
Slept
Yesterday's sleep marked the pattern of 'pass out at 7pm, wake up at 4am' that I have now been on for a few days. It's actually really cool because even though I sleep with the light on, laptop in my bed either quietly playing broad city or birds of youtube, and my phone not on charge so it turns off halfway through the day and I miss Life.. I have been feeling more stable in myself. No longer is that cloud of extreme anxiety clinging to my brain like an unwanted house-guest who eats all the lamingtons and spends an hour each day in the tub doing god-knows-what because they certainly never appear any prettier or substantially well-groomed, nor has the water bill skyrocketed suggesting overly-long soaks in the tub with glasses of pinot noir, so what exactly has been going on in that closed room??
I feel like the thought of 'light on' as a sort of protection barrier is quite helpful in being able to allow myself to fall asleep unarmed. Also, the fact that I am extremely tired by that time of day helps, too.
~Still working on trying to detach myself from the horrors of the real world
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and black coffee, handful of grapes for morning tea and one coffee, half a butter sandwich for lunch because one half fell on the floor and I was with company that made me reluctant to apply the 3 second rule. Jk, I never use that. I never eat off the floor. I only ever eat from surfaces or crockery.
~ It's all in your head, Alice. But why should that make it unreal?
Dinner was then slices of bread topped with ham, cheese, and pineapple, melted in the grill, along with extreme amounts of garlic bread.
It has just come to my attention that I forgot to put deodorant on this morning, went to work, came home and changed into a comfy shirt and pants, only to omit the use of underarm smell again, therefore, I now pong like the almighty.
Exercised
None. And it will probably be none throughout the whole of this challenge. Thank you, and good night.
7TH SEPTEMBER [FRIDAY]
Slept
From about 8pm until 4am
Eaten
Two toasts with vegemite and a black coffee. One butter sandwich and a coffee. One Twix chocolate bar. A few mouthfuls of a peanut butter sandwich between shifts and one Turkish Delight chocolate bar. One lindt chocolate and a berry fruitbox. I decided to cook dinner as Bae is sick, so I made parmesan and spinach chicken over rice with mushrooms and garlic. The BEST. Dessert was a mini choc lava cake.
Exercise
None.
8TH SEPTEMBER [SATURDAY]
Slept
From around 10pm until 4am, in the usual passed-out way while all the lights and computers are on. This is actually the first time in my life that I need to sleep with SOUND on. I have always been baffled by people who can sleep with light and noise, now I am one of them.
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter, black coffee, grapes mid-morning snack. Leftover parmesan chicken for lunch. A store-bought cappuccino that I never finished because I passed out for two hours in a nap of bliss. Dinner was pre-made rice from the freezer along with some packet frozen veggies that tasted ick, some cut up capsicum and little bits of ham. Basically the worst dinner around.
Two mini packets of salt and vinegar chips around 10pm.
Exercised
None.
Well it's all been much ado about nothing.
~ Must go sort my papers!
Adios!
👽
Sunday, 9 September 2018
Thursday, 6 September 2018
How to feel satisfied with the ordinary when everything you want is extraordinary?
Hello and let's get right down to it..
3RD SEPTEMBER [MONDAY]
Slept
About four hours, woke up at 4.30am to get ready for work
Eaten
Two toasts for breakfast with black coffee, leftover fried rice dish for midmorning snack, which is when I normally have a meal because I'm starving by 10am if I eat breakfast at 4.30, nothing because I had an exhausting day where I needed to clean up the entire inside of the fridge because I spilled a whole jug of milk in it. U____U
Dinner was fried rice again.. or was it?
Exercised
None, but I did vigorous dancing whilst cleaning the dishes *thumbs up emoji
4TH SEPTEMBER [TUESDAY]
Slept
About five hours this time
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and black coffee, snack was a handful of jatz crackers with butter, came home and had the last of that rice- DELISH- and then I decided to cook an amazing pizza from scratch with two types of ham, canned pineapple, capsicum, mushroom, and lots of cheese. On a last minute whim I decided to cut up a stick of bread, whipped up some buttery garlic mixture that was far too buttery and without the appropriate amount of garlic (which is a shit tonne), and roast that.
I also made a batch of gluten free apple muffins from a packet to take to my friend's house the next day.
~Simply Winning
After all that I sat on my bed, all ready to quickly finish the beanie I'm knitting, and immediately fell asleep.
Exercised
None, but but BUTTTTTTTT, I did about two hours of house cleaning when I got home and danced along to some funky tunes while doing it
Note: The previous two days I had actual real-live plans to go for a run after work on Monday and Tuesday, but I really didn't feel like it after those hectic days slathered in the whole 'remember only to put a pinch- A PINCH- that's right, of 'sleep essence' because too much can cause soul cleansing on such a level that no one has ever seen before and, while entirely not harmful to the individual or anyone around them, no one should have to see. People need freedom! And that is the freedom to choose exactly what they see, and where they see it!'
5TH SEPTEMBER [WEDNESDAY]
Slept
A solid 8 hours I reckon, from after dinner until about 4.40am the next morning. So good!!
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and one apple muffin with a black coffee. I passed out in bed before I could taste them or put them away or really do anything with them at all.
The last half packet of garlic bread chips.
Chicken risotto polo and a garlic prawns to share whilst out with nanna, then one apple muffin and one fruit mince pie with my friend. Four white coffees, which resulted in... stuff. Then a slice of pork and a baked potato for dinner, came home and passed out in bed, resulting in another great night of about 7 hours sleep!
Exercised
None. Spent all day out with nanna, a friend, and my parents, so by the time I got home it was dark and I'm not running in the dark! Fuck No.
[#] Sleep is a major factor in my food choices and exercising. I want to get back into doing beginners yoga from the youtube video as well as daily sit-ups and push-ups, drink more water, eat more salad (or just a salad) daily, and relaxify with the knitting.
💞
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving til 5, sincerely The Unicorns
3RD SEPTEMBER [MONDAY]
Slept
About four hours, woke up at 4.30am to get ready for work
Eaten
Two toasts for breakfast with black coffee, leftover fried rice dish for midmorning snack, which is when I normally have a meal because I'm starving by 10am if I eat breakfast at 4.30, nothing because I had an exhausting day where I needed to clean up the entire inside of the fridge because I spilled a whole jug of milk in it. U____U
Dinner was fried rice again.. or was it?
Exercised
None, but I did vigorous dancing whilst cleaning the dishes *thumbs up emoji
4TH SEPTEMBER [TUESDAY]
Slept
About five hours this time
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and black coffee, snack was a handful of jatz crackers with butter, came home and had the last of that rice- DELISH- and then I decided to cook an amazing pizza from scratch with two types of ham, canned pineapple, capsicum, mushroom, and lots of cheese. On a last minute whim I decided to cut up a stick of bread, whipped up some buttery garlic mixture that was far too buttery and without the appropriate amount of garlic (which is a shit tonne), and roast that.
I also made a batch of gluten free apple muffins from a packet to take to my friend's house the next day.
~Simply Winning
After all that I sat on my bed, all ready to quickly finish the beanie I'm knitting, and immediately fell asleep.
Exercised
None, but but BUTTTTTTTT, I did about two hours of house cleaning when I got home and danced along to some funky tunes while doing it
Note: The previous two days I had actual real-live plans to go for a run after work on Monday and Tuesday, but I really didn't feel like it after those hectic days slathered in the whole 'remember only to put a pinch- A PINCH- that's right, of 'sleep essence' because too much can cause soul cleansing on such a level that no one has ever seen before and, while entirely not harmful to the individual or anyone around them, no one should have to see. People need freedom! And that is the freedom to choose exactly what they see, and where they see it!'
5TH SEPTEMBER [WEDNESDAY]
Slept
A solid 8 hours I reckon, from after dinner until about 4.40am the next morning. So good!!
Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and one apple muffin with a black coffee. I passed out in bed before I could taste them or put them away or really do anything with them at all.
The last half packet of garlic bread chips.
Chicken risotto polo and a garlic prawns to share whilst out with nanna, then one apple muffin and one fruit mince pie with my friend. Four white coffees, which resulted in... stuff. Then a slice of pork and a baked potato for dinner, came home and passed out in bed, resulting in another great night of about 7 hours sleep!
Exercised
None. Spent all day out with nanna, a friend, and my parents, so by the time I got home it was dark and I'm not running in the dark! Fuck No.
[#] Sleep is a major factor in my food choices and exercising. I want to get back into doing beginners yoga from the youtube video as well as daily sit-ups and push-ups, drink more water, eat more salad (or just a salad) daily, and relaxify with the knitting.
💞
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving til 5, sincerely The Unicorns
Sunday, 2 September 2018
Where does Hove get such curvaceous threes?
ORGASM TIME!!!
^__--
~Things Today that have caused me such bliss that it was akin to experiencing an orgasm of the Soul
1. I called in sick to work, which I don't normally do, and I lay in bed with bae for a super long time. BLISS
2. Rediscovered Sherlock with Benedict C etc. ELECTRIFYING (and really funny)
3. Sat with a fresh hot black coffee and watched my plants languish in the sun while birds swooped around in a happy way. SOUL SQUENCHING
4. Bought petrol and decided to buy a drink by the name of 'Ovi Watermelon' because, FUCK life and all it's rules, tragedies, complications. I will drink this flavoured water, possibly develop cancer, and die happy. However, while I was sighing in a heavenly stupor at my level of bombass brilliance, I realised the bottle was on the highest shelf of the fridge section and that I literally could not reach it. What? Even?
--So I flagged down a real tall, European-looking chap and was all 'hey there, are you able to get me down that bottle of sex-me-up-right-this-minute-with-your-juicy-as-mother-fuckin-wet-ways?(except I just said watermelon ovi like a normal person), to which he grinned a little and said 'it is hi isn't it?'
Tall men.. 💗 THIRST QUELCHING
5. It was ASTRONOMICAL. So then, while being enveloped in a cloud of dreams and ponies and all things soft (except furbies because they are nightmares and you know it) I thought 'Cerri, fuck it up'- which, in Cerri shorthand, means 'Dude, buy that amazing rice dish from that Thai place and take a bath in it'.
-- I only needed like five seconds to really think it through, and that was: bank account? Check. Hunger levels? Check. Emotionally stable? Check. Practical? JUST DRIVE GURL!!
~One thing that comes from regularly experiencing buyers anxiety and having a goal that requires maximum saving skills, is that I always feel like I shouldn't do the things I want. I hardly ever buy clothes, or household things, or good food, or furniture I actually need... There's always a reason to save up, therefore my brain is always running through a checklist of of pros and cons.
Yesterday all my favourite songs came on one after the other on the radio while I was driving home from work. Then all my other fave songs came on my iPod while I was driving some place else, and it was a real 'raise your hand to the sky in a moment of feel' kind of day.
The outfield - Your Love
Dragon - Rain
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
Tears for Fears - Everyone wants to rule the world
Toto - Hold the line
Dead or alive - You spin me round
Blondie - Call me
Jessica Lea Mayfield - Somewhere in your heart
Tear you apart - She wants revenge
Lights on - I the Sun
Abba - Lay your love on me
~My September Challenge which I started yesterday being the 1st
Another challenge! (^___^)v
This one is basically to stop eating junk food, start exercising, and try to sleep for seven-eight hours solid a night.
All these things are not currently happening in my life. As such, I how can I possibly outrun a horde of freshly-bitten zombies if I am some sort of exhausted, sluggish, flabby humanoid constantly chowing down zickles bars and complaining to anyone who listens about my ever-increasing muscle aches and inability to find that one ABBA song?
Exactly.
1ST SEPTEMBER
Eaten
Two toasts with vegemite, half an avocado sandwich, pumpkin and pine nut fritata, fruit salad in a bowl, one creme brulee of the euphoric kind, four little snack packets of chips because I was feeling quite anxious and hungry but couldn't be bothered cooking
Slept
The best 7 hours in the past two months
Exercised
None, but I did work a double shift
2ND SEPTEMBER [TODAY]
Eaten
Two Toasts with peanut butter, 9 jatz crackers with butter and one apple- I was SO HAPPY to eat that apple, being fruit intake and all- two slices of lamington cake with custard and strawberries, mouthsex- I mean rice, cucumber and lettuce
Slept
Three hours, woke up, moved around, went back to sleep for about two and a half hours, then woke up and stayed up
Exercised
None
~My aim in this challenge that I will hopefully touch slightly with a warmed, steady, sculpted, non-greasy hand
Or, you know, just brush ever so lightly with a chilly fingertip, seeing as it's winter and I'm short af.
I really love to banish this anxiety for good. This will require a lot of effort, mental strength, a change of approach, and pretty much all of my dwindling willpower. Man, I gotta find me a outlet coz dayum I need some charging stat.
Controlling the rampant anxiety will then allow me to sleep better, achieving my 7-8 hrs sleep. This will help me make healthier food choices, give me energy to do the exercise or at least put me in the frame of mind to flirt with the idea of putting on my runners, and generally make me a swell lass.
Like, let's straighten this crown.
.
.*
/ \
_/ __\_
U^_^U
^__--
~Things Today that have caused me such bliss that it was akin to experiencing an orgasm of the Soul
1. I called in sick to work, which I don't normally do, and I lay in bed with bae for a super long time. BLISS
2. Rediscovered Sherlock with Benedict C etc. ELECTRIFYING (and really funny)
3. Sat with a fresh hot black coffee and watched my plants languish in the sun while birds swooped around in a happy way. SOUL SQUENCHING
4. Bought petrol and decided to buy a drink by the name of 'Ovi Watermelon' because, FUCK life and all it's rules, tragedies, complications. I will drink this flavoured water, possibly develop cancer, and die happy. However, while I was sighing in a heavenly stupor at my level of bombass brilliance, I realised the bottle was on the highest shelf of the fridge section and that I literally could not reach it. What? Even?
--So I flagged down a real tall, European-looking chap and was all 'hey there, are you able to get me down that bottle of sex-me-up-right-this-minute-with-your-juicy-as-mother-fuckin-wet-ways?(except I just said watermelon ovi like a normal person), to which he grinned a little and said 'it is hi isn't it?'
Tall men.. 💗 THIRST QUELCHING
5. It was ASTRONOMICAL. So then, while being enveloped in a cloud of dreams and ponies and all things soft (except furbies because they are nightmares and you know it) I thought 'Cerri, fuck it up'- which, in Cerri shorthand, means 'Dude, buy that amazing rice dish from that Thai place and take a bath in it'.
-- I only needed like five seconds to really think it through, and that was: bank account? Check. Hunger levels? Check. Emotionally stable? Check. Practical? JUST DRIVE GURL!!
~One thing that comes from regularly experiencing buyers anxiety and having a goal that requires maximum saving skills, is that I always feel like I shouldn't do the things I want. I hardly ever buy clothes, or household things, or good food, or furniture I actually need... There's always a reason to save up, therefore my brain is always running through a checklist of of pros and cons.
Yesterday all my favourite songs came on one after the other on the radio while I was driving home from work. Then all my other fave songs came on my iPod while I was driving some place else, and it was a real 'raise your hand to the sky in a moment of feel' kind of day.
The outfield - Your Love
Dragon - Rain
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
Tears for Fears - Everyone wants to rule the world
Toto - Hold the line
Dead or alive - You spin me round
Blondie - Call me
Jessica Lea Mayfield - Somewhere in your heart
Tear you apart - She wants revenge
Lights on - I the Sun
Abba - Lay your love on me
~My September Challenge which I started yesterday being the 1st
Another challenge! (^___^)v
This one is basically to stop eating junk food, start exercising, and try to sleep for seven-eight hours solid a night.
All these things are not currently happening in my life. As such, I how can I possibly outrun a horde of freshly-bitten zombies if I am some sort of exhausted, sluggish, flabby humanoid constantly chowing down zickles bars and complaining to anyone who listens about my ever-increasing muscle aches and inability to find that one ABBA song?
Exactly.
1ST SEPTEMBER
Eaten
Two toasts with vegemite, half an avocado sandwich, pumpkin and pine nut fritata, fruit salad in a bowl, one creme brulee of the euphoric kind, four little snack packets of chips because I was feeling quite anxious and hungry but couldn't be bothered cooking
Slept
The best 7 hours in the past two months
Exercised
None, but I did work a double shift
2ND SEPTEMBER [TODAY]
Eaten
Two Toasts with peanut butter, 9 jatz crackers with butter and one apple- I was SO HAPPY to eat that apple, being fruit intake and all- two slices of lamington cake with custard and strawberries, mouthsex- I mean rice, cucumber and lettuce
Slept
Three hours, woke up, moved around, went back to sleep for about two and a half hours, then woke up and stayed up
Exercised
None
~My aim in this challenge that I will hopefully touch slightly with a warmed, steady, sculpted, non-greasy hand
Or, you know, just brush ever so lightly with a chilly fingertip, seeing as it's winter and I'm short af.
I really love to banish this anxiety for good. This will require a lot of effort, mental strength, a change of approach, and pretty much all of my dwindling willpower. Man, I gotta find me a outlet coz dayum I need some charging stat.
Controlling the rampant anxiety will then allow me to sleep better, achieving my 7-8 hrs sleep. This will help me make healthier food choices, give me energy to do the exercise or at least put me in the frame of mind to flirt with the idea of putting on my runners, and generally make me a swell lass.
Like, let's straighten this crown.
.
.*
/ \
_/ __\_
U^_^U
Wednesday, 29 August 2018
Who do we call at the edge of night?
Ok! I am sitting!
There is never a greater time to be alive than when you have fresh hot coffee in your favourite mug, sunshine streaming in all the windows, birds frolicking around in the backyard, and your aching feet are resting upon a medium sized box filled with plastic bags.
I am a queen.
(Not really. Though if I were a queen, I would be in the know about all this 'lizard people' stuff, and, consequently, immortal, so my reign would be supreme but also highly terrifying)
Or maybe I'd just watch myself drift away without further thought.
At The Moment
~ Coffee I am drinking: Nescafe Gold greenblend 2 mild
~ Songs I am listening to: the bloodhound gang, Amy Shark- I swear someone is crawling around in my roof. I feel like we had a possum, and now we just have one mouse that wakes me up at random times with it's chewing, but I still wonder if an actual person can climb up into my roof, seeing as we live in one of those courtyard maisonette homes where two small houses share one roof. -- Well I just googled it and it looks like the front of the house is connected, which is alarming because that's where our manhole is. ANYWAY
For those of you who want all the afflictions that artificial colouring, preservatives, flavours, enhancers, and possibly remnants of human have to offer, then waltz on in to your local supermarket and purchase the fruit and nut m&m block of chocolate. You will not be sorry.
I NEED NEW SONGS PEOPLE. Amy Shark is the closest I have come to finding something that doesn't remind me of anything in my 20s. That's right, I am the big 30. As much as I love to keep the public (all two of you ^__^) guessing, I will come clean and say that for a 30 year old, my life is quite a fantasy. That is: I fantasise about a different reality, haw haw haw!
Today I went grocery shopping and some things happened in a particular order. I thought to myself 'Jesus, how tired can you get? And why are you out doing your shopping when the kids will come out of school and bombard you like the impossibly haggardish old crone that you are??' and then I replied with 'Hey, chill out, it's all goooood, ride the wave of bliss man, peace out, love to your mother', so of course I was like 'HOW DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!' to which I responded with in heavy disdain, 'Woman, y'all know I'm you. Quit playin and buy that damn cheeseburger.'
Which, all things considered, is quite racist of me.
THEN, I ambled aimlessly down the aisles as kids poured in and women rushed past looking well-presented while their teenagers dawdled behind playing games on their phones, shrugging away greasy hair and staring around the place at people who they thought weren't looking at them.
I chucked in a few things. I stayed a painfully long time at the meat section for someone who had raved about becoming a vegan, I wondered what to do about dinner what with buying a pasta sauce or a curry sauce or God Forbid making one from scratch, I meandered on past the frozen pizza section, I momentarily lost an entire shelf section of an aisle until I realised I had my back to it while I was looking at the instant noodles and had to make my way back to it from the other end of the store.. All this happened, and much much more.
I wanted to buy another coconut shampoo because my hair is kind of dry looking, so I weighed up all the shampoos [WHY are there so many?? How different can they all be?] and settled on the ogx brand called Extra Strength damage ready plus coconut miracle oil. Good lord this coffee just got 73% more shit since I started drinking it.
So I was really excited to try out this shampoo and conditioner! What a time to be alive when shampoo arouses a sense of enjoyment. But nonetheless, as soon as I went back to my usual shopping I was hit with buyers anxiety. It's all like 'WHAT YOU BUYIN EXPENSIVE SHAMPS GURL? HALF PRICE?? WHATEVS, JUST USE LEMON AND BAKING SODA LIKE US NORMS' and by 'norms' this clearly 'as opposite to Cerri as anyone can get' spokesgirl for my own personal anxiety actually means 'cheapass broke bitches'.
As much as I love the smell of the 1.99 shampoo, I've reached a time in my life where things must change.
So after paying almost one hundred dollars for collective foodstuffs and beauty care products, I carried my anxiety out of that shop and as I was walking to my car I noticed a tall man wandering in with only half a mustache. It was all dark, long, and dangling in a way that made it impossible not to stare on one side, while completely shaven with maybe one hour of growth stubble forming on the other.
This led me to think about males as an entire gender, and let me tell you, nothing good came from viewing that half mustache. It is an abomination, and if there were such a thing as a time machine I would HOP IN ONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Ok, now to crack open this tightly wound shell (or peel it, maybe, seeing as it's a shell, and why hammer full-blow first off when you can gently maneuver your prize over a length of time using an array of skill and objects..?) AND THAT IS:
You can't really look into the ugliness of the world. When it stares back at you, unblinking, unflinching, unwilling to cease, you have no choice but to stay awake and drown in your overlapping guilt/shame/fragility. You fear the dark because bad things happen in the dark. You fear closed doors, isolation, the quiet, the news, the cold hard truth.
Or do you?
'Gurl, you better not be messin'. You know Shaniqua gon come up dere and whoop yo ass '.
Or some such.
IT HAS BECOME ALARMINGLY APPARENT that my inner voice is somehow much sassier than I and also, somehow, from the 'hood.
In other news, I am growing an onion from sprout.
~ And so, in conclusion, upon returning home I found a chocolate stain on my pants, and because of the nature of my work, I had to bend down and smell it just to make sure it that it was, indeed, just chocolate. I think this pretty much sums up my life.
Just Chocolate: the brand you don't have to sniff!
But Also
* It's a darn shame you can't just erase half a month, or an entire month, or, like, a situation in which you read an article that upends your entire world so you end up sitting on your bed all night with an over-sized sword, a hairdryer, two packets of matchsticks, and a jar of blutack, just basically waiting for nothing. --Because I feel that the past two months of my life have been the most unproductive waste of time I have ever had the displeasure of being involved in, and seeing as I am the only one to blame in this scenario, I therefore also have deep levels of self-annoy that seems to be rising every day this scenario continues.
* I am a plant queen. Or should that be kween?
* I want to get up close to people, look them real in the face, grab their shoulders, shake them, and say 'do you not SEE what is happening??'
* ~Also, I'd like to do that ol science stuff so I can see what floats around in people's minds. How, exactly, do they go through life in this haze of ignorance?
*~~ But also though, HAVE YOU WATCHED THE HUMUNGKULOUS(cannot spell it, will not search it, so that's just how it sounds)VIDEOS THAT SOME CRAZY RUSSIAN DUDE IS PUTTING UP? It involves him combining his semen with a chicken egg embryo (??) and growing one starfish monster with some sort of eye and another globular monster with a tongue, that end up moving together while sitting in the same tank, and forming.
~Forming
~Together
~As. One.
* [deep breath] CONFESSION: I might have sliced a pineapple top off a pineapple, right, and then twisted it off that base to reveal the roots, ok, then plucked out some of the lower leaves, you feel, all in preparation to plant it- having established that I am now a kween- to grow more, BUT THEN, realised I had no potting mix to plant it in.
TL;DR: I disrobed (or skinned alive) a pineapple and feel highly disturbed because of it.
* After re-watching Borad City for the thousandth time because it does certain things to my soul that shall remain unnamed, I have moved on to Shadowhunters, which also does certain things to my soul in entirely different ways, even thought being a little lame on the script and acting side but heavy on the visuals and action.
[#] This has once again been a broadcast of the Cerri kind with only one message and that is: OR DID IT? Stay tuned for more upright sleeping and dish wash doing!
I lie half awake thinking what's it going to take
Trying to catch myself before I fall, but it's a little too late
There is never a greater time to be alive than when you have fresh hot coffee in your favourite mug, sunshine streaming in all the windows, birds frolicking around in the backyard, and your aching feet are resting upon a medium sized box filled with plastic bags.
I am a queen.
(Not really. Though if I were a queen, I would be in the know about all this 'lizard people' stuff, and, consequently, immortal, so my reign would be supreme but also highly terrifying)
Or maybe I'd just watch myself drift away without further thought.
At The Moment
~ Coffee I am drinking: Nescafe Gold greenblend 2 mild
~ Songs I am listening to: the bloodhound gang, Amy Shark- I swear someone is crawling around in my roof. I feel like we had a possum, and now we just have one mouse that wakes me up at random times with it's chewing, but I still wonder if an actual person can climb up into my roof, seeing as we live in one of those courtyard maisonette homes where two small houses share one roof. -- Well I just googled it and it looks like the front of the house is connected, which is alarming because that's where our manhole is. ANYWAY
For those of you who want all the afflictions that artificial colouring, preservatives, flavours, enhancers, and possibly remnants of human have to offer, then waltz on in to your local supermarket and purchase the fruit and nut m&m block of chocolate. You will not be sorry.
I NEED NEW SONGS PEOPLE. Amy Shark is the closest I have come to finding something that doesn't remind me of anything in my 20s. That's right, I am the big 30. As much as I love to keep the public (all two of you ^__^) guessing, I will come clean and say that for a 30 year old, my life is quite a fantasy. That is: I fantasise about a different reality, haw haw haw!
Today I went grocery shopping and some things happened in a particular order. I thought to myself 'Jesus, how tired can you get? And why are you out doing your shopping when the kids will come out of school and bombard you like the impossibly haggardish old crone that you are??' and then I replied with 'Hey, chill out, it's all goooood, ride the wave of bliss man, peace out, love to your mother', so of course I was like 'HOW DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!' to which I responded with in heavy disdain, 'Woman, y'all know I'm you. Quit playin and buy that damn cheeseburger.'
Which, all things considered, is quite racist of me.
THEN, I ambled aimlessly down the aisles as kids poured in and women rushed past looking well-presented while their teenagers dawdled behind playing games on their phones, shrugging away greasy hair and staring around the place at people who they thought weren't looking at them.
I chucked in a few things. I stayed a painfully long time at the meat section for someone who had raved about becoming a vegan, I wondered what to do about dinner what with buying a pasta sauce or a curry sauce or God Forbid making one from scratch, I meandered on past the frozen pizza section, I momentarily lost an entire shelf section of an aisle until I realised I had my back to it while I was looking at the instant noodles and had to make my way back to it from the other end of the store.. All this happened, and much much more.
I wanted to buy another coconut shampoo because my hair is kind of dry looking, so I weighed up all the shampoos [WHY are there so many?? How different can they all be?] and settled on the ogx brand called Extra Strength damage ready plus coconut miracle oil. Good lord this coffee just got 73% more shit since I started drinking it.
So I was really excited to try out this shampoo and conditioner! What a time to be alive when shampoo arouses a sense of enjoyment. But nonetheless, as soon as I went back to my usual shopping I was hit with buyers anxiety. It's all like 'WHAT YOU BUYIN EXPENSIVE SHAMPS GURL? HALF PRICE?? WHATEVS, JUST USE LEMON AND BAKING SODA LIKE US NORMS' and by 'norms' this clearly 'as opposite to Cerri as anyone can get' spokesgirl for my own personal anxiety actually means 'cheapass broke bitches'.
As much as I love the smell of the 1.99 shampoo, I've reached a time in my life where things must change.
So after paying almost one hundred dollars for collective foodstuffs and beauty care products, I carried my anxiety out of that shop and as I was walking to my car I noticed a tall man wandering in with only half a mustache. It was all dark, long, and dangling in a way that made it impossible not to stare on one side, while completely shaven with maybe one hour of growth stubble forming on the other.
This led me to think about males as an entire gender, and let me tell you, nothing good came from viewing that half mustache. It is an abomination, and if there were such a thing as a time machine I would HOP IN ONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Ok, now to crack open this tightly wound shell (or peel it, maybe, seeing as it's a shell, and why hammer full-blow first off when you can gently maneuver your prize over a length of time using an array of skill and objects..?) AND THAT IS:
You can't really look into the ugliness of the world. When it stares back at you, unblinking, unflinching, unwilling to cease, you have no choice but to stay awake and drown in your overlapping guilt/shame/fragility. You fear the dark because bad things happen in the dark. You fear closed doors, isolation, the quiet, the news, the cold hard truth.
Or do you?
'Gurl, you better not be messin'. You know Shaniqua gon come up dere and whoop yo ass '.
Or some such.
IT HAS BECOME ALARMINGLY APPARENT that my inner voice is somehow much sassier than I and also, somehow, from the 'hood.
In other news, I am growing an onion from sprout.
~ And so, in conclusion, upon returning home I found a chocolate stain on my pants, and because of the nature of my work, I had to bend down and smell it just to make sure it that it was, indeed, just chocolate. I think this pretty much sums up my life.
Just Chocolate: the brand you don't have to sniff!
But Also
* It's a darn shame you can't just erase half a month, or an entire month, or, like, a situation in which you read an article that upends your entire world so you end up sitting on your bed all night with an over-sized sword, a hairdryer, two packets of matchsticks, and a jar of blutack, just basically waiting for nothing. --Because I feel that the past two months of my life have been the most unproductive waste of time I have ever had the displeasure of being involved in, and seeing as I am the only one to blame in this scenario, I therefore also have deep levels of self-annoy that seems to be rising every day this scenario continues.
* I am a plant queen. Or should that be kween?
* I want to get up close to people, look them real in the face, grab their shoulders, shake them, and say 'do you not SEE what is happening??'
* ~Also, I'd like to do that ol science stuff so I can see what floats around in people's minds. How, exactly, do they go through life in this haze of ignorance?
*~~ But also though, HAVE YOU WATCHED THE HUMUNGKULOUS(cannot spell it, will not search it, so that's just how it sounds)VIDEOS THAT SOME CRAZY RUSSIAN DUDE IS PUTTING UP? It involves him combining his semen with a chicken egg embryo (??) and growing one starfish monster with some sort of eye and another globular monster with a tongue, that end up moving together while sitting in the same tank, and forming.
~Forming
~Together
~As. One.
* [deep breath] CONFESSION: I might have sliced a pineapple top off a pineapple, right, and then twisted it off that base to reveal the roots, ok, then plucked out some of the lower leaves, you feel, all in preparation to plant it- having established that I am now a kween- to grow more, BUT THEN, realised I had no potting mix to plant it in.
TL;DR: I disrobed (or skinned alive) a pineapple and feel highly disturbed because of it.
* After re-watching Borad City for the thousandth time because it does certain things to my soul that shall remain unnamed, I have moved on to Shadowhunters, which also does certain things to my soul in entirely different ways, even thought being a little lame on the script and acting side but heavy on the visuals and action.
[#] This has once again been a broadcast of the Cerri kind with only one message and that is: OR DID IT? Stay tuned for more upright sleeping and dish wash doing!
I lie half awake thinking what's it going to take
Trying to catch myself before I fall, but it's a little too late
Friday, 3 August 2018
What colour is the flamingo?
~ Things I have done in life recently~
+ Almost choked to DEATH on a single vitamin C tablet but was literally brought back to life by bae
+ Read a disturbing article that disturbed me in so many hideous ways about the nature of people that I didn't sleep for an entire week
+ Bought an amazing dress that makes me feel like actual Cinderella
+ Cooked some delicious meals and wondered if I should, in all fairness, start up my own restaurant
+ --foods cooked being: creamy parmesan and chicken with spinach on rice, and a type of oniony garlicky chickeny wrap with salad
+ Pondered a career change
+ Painted a caticorn
+ Started knitting a beanie
+ Put on one kilo
+ Ran around the block once, past a nice african couple who said 'Hi', to which I replied 'Hey, how's it going?' to which they replied 'We're good how are you?' to which I then puffed 'Hot!' followed by a rather manic and breathless cackle
+ Ate TWO slabs of the creamiest, sexiest, fucken tiramisu money can buy on two separate occasions
+ Attended a high school formal just for the fun of it
+ Stubbed my badly-healed mildly-fractured toe whilst running all my millions of plants outside to experience some halfassed sunshine
+ Spent 52.89 on three bird statues and two toadstool statues, for no reason other than how fkn cute are bird statues? They always look pleasantly curious
+ Really thought about things
+ Imagined a baby wearing tiny earmuffs
+ Decided to go vegan, but never did
+ Ordered food at a fast food place and realised halfway through that a GIANT MOTHERFKG SPIDER was sitting IN the menu board
+ Cleaned everything
+ Planned out my entire life on paper, which may or may not be a bit sad
+ Read The Casual Vacancy by JK Rowling and was, once again, disturbed beyond measure at the cruel and disgusting things humans do
+ Yawned while sitting in a burlesque club only to have a large guy ask me why I'm so tired
+ -- and all I had to say was:
[💝] Amy Shark, I SAID HI [💝]
~That song pretty much sums up my life at the moment
+ Almost choked to DEATH on a single vitamin C tablet but was literally brought back to life by bae
+ Read a disturbing article that disturbed me in so many hideous ways about the nature of people that I didn't sleep for an entire week
+ Bought an amazing dress that makes me feel like actual Cinderella
+ Cooked some delicious meals and wondered if I should, in all fairness, start up my own restaurant
+ --foods cooked being: creamy parmesan and chicken with spinach on rice, and a type of oniony garlicky chickeny wrap with salad
+ Pondered a career change
+ Painted a caticorn
+ Started knitting a beanie
+ Put on one kilo
+ Ran around the block once, past a nice african couple who said 'Hi', to which I replied 'Hey, how's it going?' to which they replied 'We're good how are you?' to which I then puffed 'Hot!' followed by a rather manic and breathless cackle
+ Ate TWO slabs of the creamiest, sexiest, fucken tiramisu money can buy on two separate occasions
+ Attended a high school formal just for the fun of it
+ Stubbed my badly-healed mildly-fractured toe whilst running all my millions of plants outside to experience some halfassed sunshine
+ Spent 52.89 on three bird statues and two toadstool statues, for no reason other than how fkn cute are bird statues? They always look pleasantly curious
+ Really thought about things
+ Imagined a baby wearing tiny earmuffs
+ Decided to go vegan, but never did
+ Ordered food at a fast food place and realised halfway through that a GIANT MOTHERFKG SPIDER was sitting IN the menu board
+ Cleaned everything
+ Planned out my entire life on paper, which may or may not be a bit sad
+ Read The Casual Vacancy by JK Rowling and was, once again, disturbed beyond measure at the cruel and disgusting things humans do
+ Yawned while sitting in a burlesque club only to have a large guy ask me why I'm so tired
+ -- and all I had to say was:
[💝] Amy Shark, I SAID HI [💝]
~That song pretty much sums up my life at the moment
Saturday, 7 July 2018
What do you mean 'we can't move time backwards' ?
.JUST ADD POTLUCK.
Or don't. Whichever. ^_^v
I chose to spend quite a lot of time in the sluggish 'woe is me' category, but then I realised that a lot of people live there and it was a miserable place. So I legged it outta there.
~Plant update!
I have exactly 101 plants blooming to date! --I know! Go me!
Some are in the 'just sprouting' stage and others are in the 'look at us! We're almost ten centimeters tall!!' stage, and I have to keep remembering to care for the youngins appropriately instead of that blanket care I give them when I'm tired or can't be arsed. It's a pain, but it's worth it.
So! One hundred plants means that as soon as I rise with the sun, I trudge all the way from my room at the front of the house to the living room at the back of the house, about six or seven times, to put ALL of the plants in the morning Eastern sun. There's a lot of huffing as I am one small lady, but also, there's a lot of kind words like 'aren't you gorgeous!' and 'I'm so sorry I farted! That smells rank!' and 'Oooooh, beautiful foliage guys, keep up the good work!' and 'How are you doing so well?? I swear I'm neglecting all of you, but you're doing an amazing job! Amazing! Fuck it's cold!'
And so forth.
Basically, I like to murmur a flow of positive sayings whether true or not, because I know the power of speech- having spent most of my life struggling with it and being the reciprocate of negative sayings- and it all counts! All of it! The kind stuff feels great only because the bad stuff feels shit.
Anywho,
After I handle my well-travelled plants -they must be the only plants in the street to see the front and back of their house!- I check to see if they need water before rushing off to work and spending all day wondering if they're cold, hot, dying of undernourishment, if I should fertilise more, less, or what it actually tells me on the packet, and I must say, they give me due anxiety. Due because I don't really bother with reading much about them.
Then I race home and immediately check on them, much to the surprise and amusement of bae, thus ensuring the retracing of steps as I lug them all back into my room to put the heater on for the nighttime chill.
When it's a nice sunny day I like to put them outside on my days off, but even then, I watch them constantly to make sure the ever-growing amount of birds wandering about out lawn don't attack them, or a basketball from the neighbours doesn't bounce on over and take them out, or it starts to rain and they all drown...
>____<
A few days ago I transplanted them all into separate pots so and this was a S E L F I S H decision. One, so I could identify them easier, or at all seeing as how half of them are from a packet labelled 'cottage garden' with vague instructions of care on the back-- also giving me mild anxiety! Two, so I could see how each of them was going. And I have to say, here and now, while I'm being 100 per cent honest, they seemed to do better in groups where they could talk to each other, share secrets, and help each other grow. I thought, maybe I had been too hasty at trying to get them all away from each other because I thought they were tearing the nutrients from one another like all humans seem to do, when I never even thought to pay closer attention to what was really going on. Maybe they were helping each other grow and the slight tinge of yellow on the leaf ends was actually due to inadequate fertilisation, or lack of sunlight, or transplant shock?
Whenever I transplant them and at random times throughout the day I say with soft exclaim and a teensy bit of desperation: 'you know, this is my first time growing seeds! I'm not plant orientated at all! Sorry there! I do apologise for my misgivings, and I will make it up to you by showering you in over-watering, under-fertilising, and vague glances in your general direction at least once a day!' then finish with a flourish of 'Oh! Also! I will most definitely try to save the ones of you who decide to droop in a wilting way, with my little plump fingers, far too big for handling tiny plant sproutlings, and therefore, inevitably tearing the lushly divine greening leaves of growth! Apologies apologies! Well much to do, must dash! Good day!'
And such.
_____
{####}
}~~{
(@__^)
~~ Syril! I'm out of sugar! How can I be out of sugar on Flapjack Day? To the store at once!!
Or don't. Whichever. ^_^v
I chose to spend quite a lot of time in the sluggish 'woe is me' category, but then I realised that a lot of people live there and it was a miserable place. So I legged it outta there.
~Plant update!
I have exactly 101 plants blooming to date! --I know! Go me!
Some are in the 'just sprouting' stage and others are in the 'look at us! We're almost ten centimeters tall!!' stage, and I have to keep remembering to care for the youngins appropriately instead of that blanket care I give them when I'm tired or can't be arsed. It's a pain, but it's worth it.
So! One hundred plants means that as soon as I rise with the sun, I trudge all the way from my room at the front of the house to the living room at the back of the house, about six or seven times, to put ALL of the plants in the morning Eastern sun. There's a lot of huffing as I am one small lady, but also, there's a lot of kind words like 'aren't you gorgeous!' and 'I'm so sorry I farted! That smells rank!' and 'Oooooh, beautiful foliage guys, keep up the good work!' and 'How are you doing so well?? I swear I'm neglecting all of you, but you're doing an amazing job! Amazing! Fuck it's cold!'
And so forth.
Basically, I like to murmur a flow of positive sayings whether true or not, because I know the power of speech- having spent most of my life struggling with it and being the reciprocate of negative sayings- and it all counts! All of it! The kind stuff feels great only because the bad stuff feels shit.
Anywho,
After I handle my well-travelled plants -they must be the only plants in the street to see the front and back of their house!- I check to see if they need water before rushing off to work and spending all day wondering if they're cold, hot, dying of undernourishment, if I should fertilise more, less, or what it actually tells me on the packet, and I must say, they give me due anxiety. Due because I don't really bother with reading much about them.
Then I race home and immediately check on them, much to the surprise and amusement of bae, thus ensuring the retracing of steps as I lug them all back into my room to put the heater on for the nighttime chill.
When it's a nice sunny day I like to put them outside on my days off, but even then, I watch them constantly to make sure the ever-growing amount of birds wandering about out lawn don't attack them, or a basketball from the neighbours doesn't bounce on over and take them out, or it starts to rain and they all drown...
>____<
A few days ago I transplanted them all into separate pots so and this was a S E L F I S H decision. One, so I could identify them easier, or at all seeing as how half of them are from a packet labelled 'cottage garden' with vague instructions of care on the back-- also giving me mild anxiety! Two, so I could see how each of them was going. And I have to say, here and now, while I'm being 100 per cent honest, they seemed to do better in groups where they could talk to each other, share secrets, and help each other grow. I thought, maybe I had been too hasty at trying to get them all away from each other because I thought they were tearing the nutrients from one another like all humans seem to do, when I never even thought to pay closer attention to what was really going on. Maybe they were helping each other grow and the slight tinge of yellow on the leaf ends was actually due to inadequate fertilisation, or lack of sunlight, or transplant shock?
Whenever I transplant them and at random times throughout the day I say with soft exclaim and a teensy bit of desperation: 'you know, this is my first time growing seeds! I'm not plant orientated at all! Sorry there! I do apologise for my misgivings, and I will make it up to you by showering you in over-watering, under-fertilising, and vague glances in your general direction at least once a day!' then finish with a flourish of 'Oh! Also! I will most definitely try to save the ones of you who decide to droop in a wilting way, with my little plump fingers, far too big for handling tiny plant sproutlings, and therefore, inevitably tearing the lushly divine greening leaves of growth! Apologies apologies! Well much to do, must dash! Good day!'
And such.
_____
{####}
}~~{
(@__^)
~~ Syril! I'm out of sugar! How can I be out of sugar on Flapjack Day? To the store at once!!
Sunday, 1 July 2018
If it stops spinning can we go home?
1.
Kristopher... I LOVE the idea! Matching tattoos sounds amazing, and we must get on this asap.
Stat.
Pronto.
Get it DID.
Inkwells and quills. ➽➹➼
💘
There must be no delay! Hit me up and we will chat it out!
2.
My days have been:
~ Wake up
~ Work
~ Take part in the rat-race to earn that moolah
~ Spend time caring for my young plants ^_^
~ Cook dinner. I am not a fan of cooking, but it must be done and I refuse to cook shit. It will be veggies, a form of fish or chicken, juice/broth from the veggie water, yoghurts and fruits. Alternatives are a creamy chicken pasta or a thai curry dish. I do not cook every night, but when I do I make sure to create as much mess as possible.
~ Log on to social media
~ Attend to mindless social media for about five hours
~ Watch Supernatural for about seven hours
~ Fall asleep late and ensure that the slumber is filled with as much unease as possible, for whatever reason
~ Wake up. Reapeat.
Upside: I'm smashing out all those Supernatural episodes. *Insert smug emoji here
I must watch more anime! I feel as though the anime universe is jumping with action and I'm just twiddling my perfectly manicured thumbs over by the enormous tumbleweed.
3.
I'd love to get my yoga on, but I'm sitting in front of this delicious slice of tiramisu and well... We all need a dream..
^_^v
4.
One day I was driving down this amazing street with those tall autumny trees surrounded by fallen leaves, dew drops glistening here and there, the sun shining in a very weak way, and as I was driving I noticed these three pigeons waddling about in a cluster. They were having a gay old time on the road curb, fluffing about in the leaves as if looking for worms or food, and as I drove past, one of the pigeons started chasing one of the others, and the pigeon being chased turned and chased the third one, and they were all chasing each other in a little line of bobbing heads with points on the top like tiny hats.
It was magical.
Pigeons are the GREATEST.
I would BE a pigeon. It all honesty, since we're here baring our souls, and I would chase my fellow pigeon folk, and I would- in all earnest- try to climb a tree.
Anyhow, I have never once seen a pigeon out for it's daily waddle and not gone, 'AWWWWWW FUCK YOU'RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE, HOLD STILL WHILE I PICK YOU UP AND GIVE YOU A SMOOSH. WHAT. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY????'
Or some such.
It's all nonsense, and apparently it's all mine.
Au revoir!
💕
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