What do you have left when it goes?

This one time, fireworks went off and I thought the world was ending.
So I grabbed my lightsaber and ran to the door. I was ready.
But when I yanked it open and glared around defiantly, all I saw was a watermelon sitting on the front door step, as if it had been waiting to take me on a date.
"I'm actually preparing for war," I said, failing to hide my irritation.
It didn't reply and I looked out into the night for the source of all this. Some type of distraction.
"You know, you're kind of early for the star wars."
I glanced down, fairly unsure of what I was hearing, and saw two enormous eyes staring up at me.
"How did you get eyes?" I demanded. "What's the deal with this?"
"I could tell you how early," the watermelon bounced once in what I assumed was excitement, as it was a very enthusiastic bounce. "Shall I?"
"No!" I said angrily.
"But I've been calculating this whole time."
I gave it a look of disgust that masked my disappointment and turned back to my surroundings. Is there no fireworks?
"You look sad," said the watermelon, and I was a bit disturbed to hear sympathy in its voice.
"You look sunburned."
"Really? But I use the cream especially!"
And I looked down once more, and can't describe the absurdity of seeing the watermelon actually turn to the wall as if searching for its reflection. I sighed. Is this the life of a warrior?
Reassuring fruit that they don't have sunburn while trying not to reveal lies in your insults? My head started to hurt at it all, and it was very clear that there were no fireworks.
The watermelon was now muttering to itself about 'Benny' and 'good deals'.
"Ok! You don't have sunburn!" I yelled.
The watermelon turned to me in a great flourish and said: "Of course I don't! I'm a watermelon!" Then flashed a brilliant smile and bounced past me into the house.
[o]_[o]
This one time, I thought fireworks meant war. Now I know that they mean watermelon.

...play me a song to set me free...