ACED MY TAFE COURSE.
~ I am now one multi-skilled woman.
^_^
There's a lot to be said about life, and how life never seems to answer up. WHAT'S THE DEAL? JUST WHAT IS? And what does life look like? And how does life work.
Can we control it, at all, by verbalising our intent and dreams, sending them out there like some kind of stream so Life can just tune into our signal and adjust things accordingly?
Does that mean we have no control? We simply wait. But we have to work at it. We can't stand outside our house one cold, rainy day and scream that we want to win the competition for having the biggest turnips ever, if we are not prepared to dig the patch and plant the turnips and nurture them into existence first.
"Dude, that's way too deep."
I drop my turnips. "You just said dude."
Dragon blows into his teacup with mild irritation, "I know what I said."
My mouth drops open, "And you're drinking tea. From a teacup."
He looks at me, "How else am I supposed to drink it?"
Is this my world? Where coffee goes cold quicker than the frost on my car? Where the only use for the Twilight books is to kill spiders? Where the real things seem to fade and the fantasies seem to materialise and set themselves in stone?
"I'm buying you a skateboard for Christmas," Dragon says as he lifts his feet and warms them in front of the fireplace.
"REALLY? AN ACTUAL SKATEBOARD?!" I exclaim.
"And I'm going to push you down a hill."
"Oh."
It would seem Dragon has angst.
"You're here!"
I turn away from this unpleasantness and see the watermelon bouncing towards me. "Hey, Termeline, what's going down?"
"I heard you finished your course! That's really very smart of you."
"Thank you," I say smugly, for it really is, and shoot a look at Dragon who ignores me.
"Yes!" The watermelon bounces excitedly, "And in honour of this grandiferous event I bought a coffee machine!"
I gasp. "REALLY?! CAN THIS BE TRUE?!"
The melon squeals in delight (which isn't as cute as it sounds), "Yes! Yes!"
My instinctual urges to kick this watermelon whenever it came too close to my space has vanished and is replaced by an overwhelming feeling of... possibility.
"And!" it's over excited voice cuts through my entrepreneurial schemes, "An alarm clock!"
"Oh, that's nice too." But something in it's bright-eyed eagerness has me concerned. Is he hiding explosives?
The watermelon giggles to itself and stares up at me, "and I've set the times so it goes off every three hours, on the hour, six times a day. So you don't forget."
Hmm? I stare at it, "Forget what?"
"My coffee!"
"Come again?"
The watermelon grins as Dragon starts sniggering. "Now that you're a professional barrister, you have to cater to my barristeresque needs. And that's coffee, six times a day!"
"What?" I frown, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And stop making up words!"
"But you must!"
"Make it yourself!"
"I have no hands."
"Pfft!" I glare at it's self-pitying expression, "That's convenient!"
"It is! What else is convenient?" The watermelon looks around a bit as if thinking and I roll my eyes, "Oh yes! That if you DONT make the coffees, the machine will blow up."
"Blow up?"
"Oh yes. And that, of course, if you fail to make them on the exact hour, I have a whole mob of friends who would love to come and meet you!"
Mob of friends? Well this took a weird turn. I try to think up a reasonable explanation for this unexplainable violent outburst, when suddenly Dragon burps and a burst of flames shoot out of his mouth and engulf the watermelon whole.
We stare at each other in an only slightly mortified manner and then turn our attention to the watermelon.
"You've burnt it!" I gape at the round blackened char that is starting to slightly crumble.
"Did I? What a shame," he climbs off his armchair, scoops up the burnt melon and throws it into the fire as if he murders watermelons every day.
"The lessons..." says Dragon as he settles himself back into his chair, "...are two. One..." he peers at me over his monocle, "... don't invite hyperactive fruit into your house. Two..."
He pauses.
I wait, feeling rather annoyed that a yummy watermelon has just been wasted in front of my very eyes.
"... always have a Dragon."
. . , * , . .
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