Where to purchase 'Flying Free: An Instruction Manual' for only 3.99?

Herman was rushing forwards, his arms held protectively over his bowed head, his tiny feet scurrying over thin twigs and powdered pebbles, and his over-sized shorts slipping dangerously as they ballooned out from the wind.

"I've had it!!" he screamed up into the sky.

Above him circled and swooped at least ten colourful birds, all of them calling out in gleeful squawks.

"You'll get yours!!" Herman shouted. He dived out from the dried patchy grass that he had been running in and slid to a stop in front of his dearest, oldest friend Tenstal.

"Herman, old fellow!" Tenstal boomed. "What a comical surprise this is! I can't quite understand why you must slide into my presence whenever we meet, but however, I am very pleased you do."

"Oh shut it!" Herman staggered upright and brushed himself off grumpily.

Tenstal chuckled. "Have some tea," he motioned to the absurdly large teapot that sported a ridiculously curvaceous spout sitting on the little table next to him.

"You think you're protected, do you?" Herman grumbled, reaching for the teapot.

"Under here," Tenstal spread his arms wide, motioning to the veranda he was sitting under, "Nothing evil shall enter."

"Oh go boil your left toe." Herman was having quite a difficult time lifting up the teapot. It was just far too heavy. He decided to heave the pot forwards without even lifting it, ignoring the scratches it made on the wooden table, and he aimed the spout at the tiny teacup. Nothing came out. He waited, sweat forming on his brow, his eyes glancing in a spasmodic way to the scratches.

"Allow me," Tenstal said.

Herman shrieked and let go. "Must you yell!"

The teapot swayed from side to side in an unnerving manner- as it was clearly too heavy to move by human hand.

"Is this a normal thing!?" Herman demanded. "I have just ran from my house under siege of your birds, the least I can be offered in return is some hot tea! Why is this so hard to use?!"

"Sit! Sit!" Tenstal gestured, enjoying his little friend. It had been far too long since they interacted in such a humorous way. Herman had a flair for the dramatics that Tenstal found delightful.

"Are you enjoying your persimmons and parsnips?" he asked Herman as he lifted the pot in one easy motion and poured out the steaming pink liquid.

Herman stared.

"Boursella has been in such an alphabetic mood lately," Tenstal continued without missing a beat. "All she does involves the letter P. It would drive me crazy if she were not so utterly beautiful."

"Are you a wizard?" Herman demanded in a fit of unhealthy rage. 

"Hmmm?" Tenstal looked up.

"YOU ARE CLEARLY A MAN OF TRICKS! ARE YOU NOT?"

Herman felt his insides squirm uncomfortably. He vaguely entertained the thought of hosting a hex, one that produced living, crawling things inside the body for an afternoon of entertainment in the utmost hideous horror one can experience. But he shrugged these thoughts away. Tenstal was the most mild-mannered friend he had the pleasure of encountering, and, if proven to be a wizard, would only use his magic for healing injured animals and growing Herman longer legs so he could reach the top shelf.

"Herman, oldest friend, sit and have this tea. You will feel right as the day you were born, I insist." Tenstal set the teacup with painted faces of kittens across the table and Herman sat begrudgingly down upon the brightly painted spindly wooden chair. 

Tenstal could hear mumblings such as pain in my manicured ass and kind of magic potion nonsense is this, but he chose to ignore and smile on serenely out to his feathered friends in the sky,

"I must say, it is good to be sitting down," Herman said after a few mouthfuls.

Tenstal sighed suddenly. "Alas! All those hours of my time gazing upon the fine workmen of today and all the golden coins from my pocket and still, still, this post is to display itself crooked."

And much to Hermans disbelief, Tenstal waved a crooked-looking tree branch and the veranda post visibly straightened.

 

   

   ;;

  /_\

,./~\.,

(6_6)

Does the portal come straight back again?

OK THEN.
Just quickly before I have to run off and do life like I always do: fast and somewhat awkward.
THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN DISTINGUISHED!
FUCK the challenge.
Have you ever just stopped and looked at the shape of your fingerprints? Like, in a real 'how would I in actual realness scrape these off if I happened to be part of some criminal activity?' kind of way?? Or is it just me?

So the healthy eating challenge just shone light on how much crap I was eating, and so by the first week I gave up. Then the second week swung around, with about as much force as that time I played baseball and got hit in the arm by some uncoordinated ten year old wearing knee pads and hiding one slice of orange in his short pocket for whatever reason, and I just ate healthy because I was tired of never sleeping properly. I thought if I couldn't fix my over-imaginative brain, I would fix everything else except for exercising.
Who wants to exercise after sleeping only four hours interrupted with the light on, waking up with eye pain and neck ache only to slog on off to a double shift in yesterdays clothes?
Exactly.

~lifegoals

One week without sugar was IMMENSELY SATISFYING. I felt cleansed, calm, almost as if I was shining out some kind of magical light of health and vitality. Instead of sugar I made sure to eat one salad each day for either lunch or dinner and drink five glasses of water.

Things that helped my extreme night anxiety:
~ Knitting with a tv show on in the background
~ Water
~ The light on
~ Time, in which nothing happened, and the horrors of those articles with all those poor people suffering for no reason faded from my memory like all things must

Basically nothing else helped. They say it will help, all the people all the time, everyone who isn't experiencing the actual anxiety that is about something random and fictional and mostly improbable.
They all say to take medication, sleeping tablets, a hot drink, think of something else, of course it won't happen, it never happens, blah blah, etc etc.
It doesn't matter to my overworked brain that it most likely will never happen. All that matters is I somehow have these thoughts and they aren't going away.
Anxiety is bending down to press your serene, calm, smooth cheek against the cool floor, while underneath that floor your face is staring upwards, full of lines, scratch marks, and bags, scrunched up in a never-ending scream.


So! A little bird follows me around, but at a distance, and always perches on a handrail as I walk past, but turns its back to me as I do, and then I turn to peek at him and he turns his head slightly but then looks away quickly, and I turn too, and laugh and laugh. Because every time I walk outside he flies around and lands on the rail and looks at me, then turns his back, and I pretend not to notice.
-- Kind of like other experiences that also made me laugh and laugh.

And that's a wrap!
Au revoir!
Or something!

   ;".___.";
 <(;___#)>

Do I have to go to work tomorrow?

Hello there!

A quick note: I have not taken this challenge seriously at all. Huehuehueeeeeeee

Something true: What I have taken seriously is every single person suffering in every single part of the globe, particularly girls sold into the sex slave trade.
~ It's a real problem
Scenario: I will be randomly driving along the road in the sunshine listening to music, when suddenly the thought of any poor girl in that heinous position will flit through my mind, causing me a great deal of anguish, guilt, and disgust. I feel utterly helpless to do anything for them- being just one small girl myself- and I feel bucket-loads of extreme guilt. How dare I be allowed to live this comfortable modern life while others on the planet are suffering so? I have taken no part in their suffering yet I am haunted.
~~ So.. it's a Real Problem
Must I make peace with my situation and accept the ying-yang of life in all its essence, believing that somehow whatever greater being above or around has a 'grand plan'? Must I take a philosophy class and absorb all religious/philosophical content while also partaking in hours of soul meditation and god-like levels of serenity?

The Reality of Life: How To Deal With Terrible Situations That Have Nothing To Do with you But Could If Only You Tried Hard Enough

Further on, my plants are growing massively! They are now three times the size they were in previous posts when I was lugging them about the place. I no longer lug these days, I just chug. Mouthfuls of strongass coffee. HUEHUEHUE.
But in all realness that is entirely 84% less real then my last post will ever be, sometimes you just want to chug a really bombass coffee and there is none so you die a little on the inside. And sometimes you just need to clean your house, knit your hat, and scroll through pinterest until your fingers cramp.


6TH SEPTEMBER [THURSDAY]
Slept
Yesterday's sleep marked the pattern of 'pass out at 7pm, wake up at 4am' that I have now been on for a few days. It's actually really cool because even though I sleep with the light on, laptop in my bed either quietly playing broad city or birds of youtube, and my phone not on charge so it turns off halfway through the day and I miss Life.. I have been feeling more stable in myself. No longer is that cloud of extreme anxiety clinging to my brain like an unwanted house-guest who eats all the lamingtons and spends an hour each day in the tub doing god-knows-what because they certainly never appear any prettier or substantially well-groomed, nor has the water bill skyrocketed suggesting overly-long soaks in the tub with glasses of pinot noir, so what exactly has been going on in that closed room??
I feel like the thought of 'light on' as a sort of protection barrier is quite helpful in being able to allow myself to fall asleep unarmed. Also, the fact that I am extremely tired by that time of day helps, too.
~Still working on trying to detach myself from the horrors of the real world

Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and black coffee, handful of grapes for morning tea and one coffee, half a butter sandwich for lunch because one half fell on the floor and I was with company that made me reluctant to apply the 3 second rule. Jk, I never use that. I never eat off the floor. I only ever eat from surfaces or crockery.
~ It's all in your head, Alice. But why should that make it unreal?
Dinner was then slices of bread topped with ham, cheese, and pineapple, melted in the grill, along with extreme amounts of garlic bread.
It has just come to my attention that I forgot to put deodorant on this morning, went to work, came home and changed into a comfy shirt and pants, only to omit the use of underarm smell again, therefore, I now pong like the almighty.

Exercised
None. And it will probably be none throughout the whole of this challenge. Thank you, and good night.


7TH SEPTEMBER [FRIDAY]
Slept
From about 8pm until 4am

Eaten
Two toasts with vegemite and a black coffee. One butter sandwich and a coffee. One Twix chocolate bar. A few mouthfuls of a peanut butter sandwich between shifts and one Turkish Delight chocolate bar. One lindt chocolate and a berry fruitbox. I decided to cook dinner as Bae is sick, so I made parmesan and spinach chicken over rice with mushrooms and garlic. The BEST. Dessert was a mini choc lava cake.

Exercise
None.


8TH SEPTEMBER [SATURDAY]
Slept
From around 10pm until 4am, in the usual passed-out way while all the lights and computers are on. This is actually the first time in my life that I need to sleep with SOUND on. I have always been baffled by people who can sleep with light and noise, now I am one of them.

Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter, black coffee, grapes mid-morning snack. Leftover parmesan chicken for lunch. A store-bought cappuccino that I never finished because I passed out for two hours in a nap of bliss. Dinner was pre-made rice from the freezer along with some packet frozen veggies that tasted ick, some cut up capsicum and little bits of ham. Basically the worst dinner around.
Two mini packets of salt and vinegar chips around 10pm.

Exercised
None.


Well it's all been much ado about nothing.
~ Must go sort my papers!
Adios!
👽

How to feel satisfied with the ordinary when everything you want is extraordinary?

Hello and let's get right down to it..


3RD SEPTEMBER [MONDAY]
Slept
About four hours, woke up at 4.30am to get ready for work

Eaten
Two toasts for breakfast with black coffee, leftover fried rice dish for midmorning snack, which is when I normally have a meal because I'm starving by 10am if I eat breakfast at 4.30, nothing because I had an exhausting day where I needed to clean up the entire inside of the fridge because I spilled a whole jug of milk in it. U____U
Dinner was fried rice again.. or was it?

Exercised
None, but I did vigorous dancing whilst cleaning the dishes  *thumbs up emoji


4TH SEPTEMBER [TUESDAY]
Slept
About five hours this time

Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and black coffee, snack was a handful of jatz crackers with butter, came home and had the last of that rice- DELISH- and then I decided to cook an amazing pizza from scratch with two types of ham, canned pineapple, capsicum, mushroom, and lots of cheese. On a last minute whim I decided to cut up a stick of bread, whipped up some buttery garlic mixture that was far too buttery and without the appropriate amount of garlic (which is a shit tonne), and roast that.
I also made a batch of gluten free apple muffins from a packet to take to my friend's house the next day.
~Simply Winning
After all that I sat on my bed, all ready to quickly finish the beanie I'm knitting, and immediately fell asleep.

Exercised
None, but but BUTTTTTTTT, I did about two hours of house cleaning when I got home and danced along to some funky tunes while doing it

Note: The previous two days I had actual real-live plans to go for a run after work on Monday and Tuesday, but I really didn't feel like it after those hectic days slathered in the whole 'remember only to put a pinch- A PINCH- that's right, of 'sleep essence' because too much can cause soul cleansing on such a level that no one has ever seen before and, while entirely not harmful to the individual or anyone around them, no one should have to see. People need freedom! And that is the freedom to choose exactly what they see, and where they see it!'


5TH SEPTEMBER [WEDNESDAY]
Slept
A solid 8 hours I reckon, from after dinner until about 4.40am the next morning. So good!!

Eaten
Two toasts with peanut butter and one apple muffin with a black coffee. I passed out in bed before I could taste them or put them away or really do anything with them at all.
The last half packet of garlic bread chips.
Chicken risotto polo and a garlic prawns to share whilst out with nanna, then one apple muffin and one fruit mince pie with my friend. Four white coffees, which resulted in... stuff. Then a slice of pork and a baked potato for dinner, came home and passed out in bed, resulting in another great night of about 7 hours sleep!

Exercised
None. Spent all day out with nanna, a friend, and my parents, so by the time I got home it was dark and I'm not running in the dark! Fuck No.


[#] Sleep is a major factor in my food choices and exercising. I want to get back into doing beginners yoga from the youtube video as well as daily sit-ups and push-ups, drink more water, eat more salad (or just a salad) daily, and relaxify with the knitting.
💞



Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving til 5, sincerely The Unicorns

Where does Hove get such curvaceous threes?

ORGASM TIME!!!
^__--

~Things Today that have caused me such bliss that it was akin to experiencing an orgasm of the Soul
1. I called in sick to work, which I don't normally do, and I lay in bed with bae for a super long time. BLISS

2. Rediscovered Sherlock with Benedict C etc. ELECTRIFYING (and really funny)

3. Sat with a fresh hot black coffee and watched my plants languish in the sun while birds swooped around in a happy way. SOUL SQUENCHING

4. Bought petrol and decided to buy a drink by the name of 'Ovi Watermelon' because, FUCK life and all it's rules, tragedies, complications. I will drink this flavoured water, possibly develop cancer, and die happy. However, while I was sighing in a heavenly stupor at my level of bombass brilliance, I realised the bottle was on the highest shelf of the fridge section and that I literally could not reach it. What? Even?
--So I flagged down a real tall, European-looking chap and was all 'hey there, are you able to get me down that bottle of sex-me-up-right-this-minute-with-your-juicy-as-mother-fuckin-wet-ways?(except I just said watermelon ovi like a normal person), to which he grinned a little and said 'it is hi isn't it?'
Tall men.. 💗 THIRST QUELCHING

5. It was ASTRONOMICAL. So then, while being enveloped in a cloud of dreams and ponies and all things soft (except furbies because they are nightmares and you know it) I thought 'Cerri, fuck it up'- which, in Cerri shorthand, means 'Dude, buy that amazing rice dish from that Thai place and take a bath in it'.
-- I only needed like five seconds to really think it through, and that was: bank account? Check. Hunger levels? Check. Emotionally stable? Check. Practical? JUST DRIVE GURL!!

~One thing that comes from regularly experiencing buyers anxiety and having a goal that requires maximum saving skills, is that I always feel like I shouldn't do the things I want. I hardly ever buy clothes, or household things, or good food, or furniture I actually need... There's always a reason to save up, therefore my brain is always running through a checklist of of pros and cons.

Yesterday all my favourite songs came on one after the other on the radio while I was driving home from work. Then all my other fave songs came on my iPod while I was driving some place else, and it was a real 'raise your hand to the sky in a moment of feel' kind of day.

The outfield - Your Love
Dragon - Rain
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
Tears for Fears - Everyone wants to rule the world
Toto - Hold the line
Dead or alive - You spin me round
Blondie - Call me

Jessica Lea Mayfield - Somewhere in your heart
Tear you apart - She wants revenge
Lights on - I the Sun
Abba - Lay your love on me

~My September Challenge which I started yesterday being the 1st
Another challenge! (^___^)v
This one is basically to stop eating junk food, start exercising, and try to sleep for seven-eight hours solid a night.
All these things are not currently happening in my life. As such, I how can I possibly outrun a horde of freshly-bitten zombies if I am some sort of exhausted, sluggish, flabby humanoid constantly chowing down zickles bars and complaining to anyone who listens about my ever-increasing muscle aches and inability to find that one ABBA song?
Exactly.

1ST SEPTEMBER
Eaten
Two toasts with vegemite, half an avocado sandwich, pumpkin and pine nut fritata, fruit salad in a bowl, one creme brulee of the euphoric kind, four little snack packets of chips because I was feeling quite anxious and hungry but couldn't be bothered cooking

Slept
The best 7 hours in the past two months

Exercised
None, but I did work a double shift


2ND SEPTEMBER [TODAY]
Eaten
Two Toasts with peanut butter, 9 jatz crackers with butter and one apple- I was SO HAPPY to eat that apple, being fruit intake and all- two slices of lamington cake with custard and strawberries, mouthsex- I mean rice, cucumber and lettuce

Slept
Three hours, woke up, moved around, went back to sleep for about two and a half hours, then woke up and stayed up

Exercised
None


~My aim in this challenge that I will hopefully touch slightly with a warmed, steady, sculpted, non-greasy hand
Or, you know, just brush ever so lightly with a chilly fingertip, seeing as it's winter and I'm short af.
I really love to banish this anxiety for good. This will require a lot of effort, mental strength, a change of approach, and pretty much all of my dwindling willpower. Man, I gotta find me a outlet coz dayum I need some charging stat.
Controlling the rampant anxiety will then allow me to sleep better, achieving my 7-8 hrs sleep. This will help me make healthier food choices, give me energy to do the exercise or at least put me in the frame of mind to flirt with the idea of putting on my runners, and generally make me a swell lass.
Like, let's straighten this crown.

        .
     .*
    / \
_/ __\_
U^_^U

Who do we call at the edge of night?

Ok! I am sitting!
There is never a greater time to be alive than when you have fresh hot coffee in your favourite mug, sunshine streaming in all the windows, birds frolicking around in the backyard, and your aching feet are resting upon a medium sized box filled with plastic bags.
I am a queen.
(Not really. Though if I were a queen, I would be in the know about all this 'lizard people' stuff, and, consequently, immortal, so my reign would be supreme but also highly terrifying)
Or maybe I'd just watch myself drift away without further thought.

At The Moment
~ Coffee I am drinking: Nescafe Gold greenblend 2 mild
~ Songs I am listening to: the bloodhound gang, Amy Shark- I swear someone is crawling around in my roof. I feel like we had a possum, and now we just have one mouse that wakes me up at random times with it's chewing, but I still wonder if an actual person can climb up into my roof, seeing as we live in one of those courtyard maisonette homes where two small houses share one roof. -- Well I just googled it and it looks like the front of the house is connected, which is alarming because that's where our manhole is. ANYWAY

For those of you who want all the afflictions that artificial colouring, preservatives, flavours, enhancers, and possibly remnants of human have to offer, then waltz on in to your local supermarket and purchase the fruit and nut m&m block of chocolate. You will not be sorry.

I NEED NEW SONGS PEOPLE. Amy Shark is the closest I have come to finding something that doesn't remind me of anything in my 20s. That's right, I am the big 30. As much as I love to keep the public (all two of you ^__^) guessing, I will come clean and say that for a 30 year old, my life is quite a fantasy. That is: I fantasise about a different reality, haw haw haw!

Today I went grocery shopping and some things happened in a particular order. I thought to myself 'Jesus, how tired can you get? And why are you out doing your shopping when the kids will come out of school and bombard you like the impossibly haggardish old crone that you are??' and then I replied with 'Hey, chill out, it's all goooood, ride the wave of bliss man, peace out, love to your mother', so of course I was like 'HOW DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!' to which I responded with in heavy disdain, 'Woman, y'all know I'm you. Quit playin and buy that damn cheeseburger.'
Which, all things considered, is quite racist of me.

THEN, I ambled aimlessly down the aisles as kids poured in and women rushed past looking well-presented while their teenagers dawdled behind playing games on their phones, shrugging away greasy hair and staring around the place at people who they thought weren't looking at them.
I chucked in a few things. I stayed a painfully long time at the meat section for someone who had raved about becoming a vegan, I wondered what to do about dinner what with buying a pasta sauce or a curry sauce or God Forbid making one from scratch, I meandered on past the frozen pizza section, I momentarily lost an entire shelf section of an aisle until I realised I had my back to it while I was looking at the instant noodles and had to make my way back to it from the other end of the store.. All this happened, and much much more.
I wanted to buy another coconut shampoo because my hair is kind of dry looking, so I weighed up all the shampoos [WHY are there so many?? How different can they all be?] and settled on the ogx brand called Extra Strength damage ready plus coconut miracle oil. Good lord this coffee just got 73% more shit since I started drinking it.
So I was really excited to try out this shampoo and conditioner! What a time to be alive when shampoo arouses a sense of enjoyment. But nonetheless, as soon as I went back to my usual shopping I was hit with buyers anxiety. It's all like 'WHAT YOU BUYIN EXPENSIVE SHAMPS GURL? HALF PRICE?? WHATEVS, JUST USE LEMON AND BAKING SODA LIKE US NORMS' and by 'norms' this clearly 'as opposite to Cerri as anyone can get' spokesgirl for my own personal anxiety actually means 'cheapass broke bitches'.
As much as I love the smell of the 1.99 shampoo, I've reached a time in my life where things must change.

So after paying almost one hundred dollars for collective foodstuffs and beauty care products, I carried my anxiety out of that shop and as I was walking to my car I noticed a tall man wandering in with only half a mustache. It was all dark, long, and dangling in a way that made it impossible not to stare on one side, while completely shaven with maybe one hour of growth stubble forming on the other.
This led me to think about males as an entire gender, and let me tell you, nothing good came from viewing that half mustache. It is an abomination, and if there were such a thing as a time machine I would HOP IN ONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Ok, now to crack open this tightly wound shell (or peel it, maybe, seeing as it's a shell, and why hammer full-blow first off when you can gently maneuver your prize over a length of time using an array of skill and objects..?) AND THAT IS:

You can't really look into the ugliness of the world. When it stares back at you, unblinking, unflinching, unwilling to cease, you have no choice but to stay awake and drown in your overlapping guilt/shame/fragility. You fear the dark because bad things happen in the dark. You fear closed doors, isolation, the quiet, the news, the cold hard truth.

Or do you?
'Gurl, you better not be messin'. You know Shaniqua gon come up dere and whoop yo ass '.
Or some such.
IT HAS BECOME ALARMINGLY APPARENT that my inner voice is somehow much sassier than I and also, somehow, from the 'hood.

In other news, I am growing an onion from sprout.

~ And so, in conclusion, upon returning home I found a chocolate stain on my pants, and because of the nature of my work, I had to bend down and smell it just to make sure it that it was, indeed, just chocolate. I think this pretty much sums up my life.

Just Chocolate: the brand you don't have to sniff!

But Also
* It's a darn shame you can't just erase half a month, or an entire month, or, like, a situation in which you read an article that upends your entire world so you end up sitting on your bed all night with an over-sized sword, a hairdryer, two packets of matchsticks, and a jar of blutack, just basically waiting for nothing. --Because I feel that the past two months of my life have been the most unproductive waste of time I have ever had the displeasure of being involved in, and seeing as I am the only one to blame in this scenario, I therefore also have deep levels of self-annoy that seems to be rising every day this scenario continues.

* I am a plant queen. Or should that be kween?

* I want to get up close to people, look them real in the face, grab their shoulders, shake them, and say 'do you not SEE what is happening??'

* ~Also, I'd like to do that ol science stuff so I can see what floats around in people's minds. How, exactly, do they go through life in this haze of ignorance?
*~~ But also though, HAVE YOU WATCHED THE HUMUNGKULOUS(cannot spell it, will not search it, so that's just how it sounds)VIDEOS THAT SOME CRAZY RUSSIAN DUDE IS PUTTING UP? It involves him combining his semen with a chicken egg embryo (??) and growing one starfish monster with some sort of eye and another globular monster with a tongue, that end up moving together while sitting in the same tank, and forming.
~Forming
~Together
~As. One.

* [deep breath] CONFESSION: I might have sliced a pineapple top off a pineapple, right, and then twisted it off that base to reveal the roots, ok, then plucked out some of the lower leaves, you feel, all in preparation to plant it- having established that I am now a kween- to grow more, BUT THEN, realised I had no potting mix to plant it in.
TL;DR: I disrobed (or skinned alive) a pineapple and feel highly disturbed because of it.

* After re-watching Borad City for the thousandth time because it does certain things to my soul that shall remain unnamed, I have moved on to Shadowhunters, which also does certain things to my soul in entirely different ways, even thought being a little lame on the script and acting side but heavy on the visuals and action.


[#] This has once again been a broadcast of the Cerri kind with only one message and that is: OR DID IT? Stay tuned for more upright sleeping and dish wash doing!



I lie half awake thinking what's it going to take
Trying to catch myself before I fall, but it's a little too late

What colour is the flamingo?

~ Things I have done in life recently~

+ Almost choked to DEATH on a single vitamin C tablet but was literally brought back to life by bae
+ Read a disturbing article that disturbed me in so many hideous ways about the nature of people that I didn't sleep for an entire week
+ Bought an amazing dress that makes me feel like actual Cinderella
+ Cooked some delicious meals and wondered if I should, in all fairness, start up my own restaurant
+ --foods cooked being: creamy parmesan and chicken with spinach on rice, and a type of oniony garlicky chickeny wrap with salad
+ Pondered a career change
+ Painted a caticorn
+ Started knitting a beanie
+ Put on one kilo
+ Ran around the block once, past a nice african couple who said 'Hi', to which I replied 'Hey, how's it going?' to which they replied 'We're good how are you?' to which I then puffed 'Hot!' followed by a rather manic and breathless cackle
+ Ate TWO slabs of the creamiest, sexiest, fucken tiramisu money can buy on two separate occasions
+ Attended a high school formal just for the fun of it
+ Stubbed my badly-healed mildly-fractured toe whilst running all my millions of plants outside to experience some halfassed sunshine
+ Spent 52.89 on three bird statues and two toadstool statues, for no reason other than how fkn cute are bird statues? They always look pleasantly curious
+ Really thought about things
+ Imagined a baby wearing tiny earmuffs
+ Decided to go vegan, but never did
+ Ordered food at a fast food place and realised halfway through that a GIANT MOTHERFKG SPIDER was sitting IN the menu board
+ Cleaned everything
+ Planned out my entire life on paper, which may or may not be a bit sad
+ Read The Casual Vacancy by JK Rowling and was, once again, disturbed beyond measure at the cruel and disgusting things humans do
+ Yawned while sitting in a burlesque club only to have a large guy ask me why I'm so tired
+ -- and all I had to say was:

[💝] Amy Shark, I SAID HI [💝]



~That song pretty much sums up my life at the moment