'Where did you take it back to?'

Day 9 is the reason I packed my bags, jumped on board, and ate as much of what the airlines call 'roast chicken' as my little tummy would allow

Basically it is failure in the most failurey way possible. The MOST WAY. ALL THE FAILURE. HAVE A TIME.

Ok...

Back it up.

Yesterday I went furniture shopping because I got it into my head that I was going to buy a bedside table. I went on a rampage through the google. Found a shop and liked what I saw. So, I marched on down and Fell In Love with a bedside table in an entirely different shop altogether.

It was expensive. 

Then I went to another shop and Fell Into Infatuation with a bookcase so big and solid and divine I wanted to set up camp and sleep in it. I thought 'none of the shelves on that motha will collapse on me', and when you talk about a world gone mad, all you really want is stability in all things, namely the dairy foods you consume and the furniture that you store 45 kilo books on.

So!

I woke up today thinking, 'I will do this. I will buy these magical things'. I arranged some finances which I never do, and I set off with the aim to only buy the one bedside table. By 4pm, I had paid 1,700 for a bedside table, a wardrobe (the only piece of furniture that I actually need as I don't have one), and that motha of a bookcase.

Then I got full-blown trauma.

Panic spread from my feet to my head. I started shaking. I had a mini meltdown in the bank that saw me sobbing into my cash while I madly called one of my closest friends who had to listen to me garble as I fled blindly to my car.

My chest grew tight, my head felt light, sound faded away until I was in my car, trembling, talking, and trying to make sense of what I was doing.

Why was I paying obscene amounts of money for furniture I didn't need?

Well, I did need them, in a general reality kind of way. The top two shelves of my current IKEA bookcase house only one stack of DVDs, three jars of pens/pencils, and a paintable gnome because they are at risk of crumbling again. The first time anything crumbled was when I was reading on my bed. All of a sudden I heard a massive crash, looked up to see all four of my shelves in a pile along with all of my books that I had arranged in order not long before. A few weeks later my other IKEA bookcase did the same. Now, it's not IKEA's fault that I have too many damn books. It's not IKEA's fault that I had to nail in all my shelves- some upside down due to the bowed shape- with actual nails so that some nails stick out or have split the wood, wind hideous black duct tape around both of them, and pray to god every single day that none of them repeat their little escapade.

As it was, the second IKEA shelf/cabinet setup has never been stable ever since because the outer planks are so bowed with weight that they no longer stand up straight regardless how much tape I use, therefore the shelves inside barely touch the shelf-holder thingies. NOT TO MENTION, some of those shelf-holder thingies have just up and left, never to be seen again.

It's attitude like this that spoil it for the rest of the pieces. Everything has to do its job. 

Yes. And another thing. The money I used was NOT intended for fun-furniture-spree-having. There was a purpose for why I had it, even if it is a way in the future, and now that it's gone I am having heart-failure after heart-failure at how close I was to achieving the goal and how long it's now going to take me to get back there.

But not to worry! It will be sorted asap. I'm nothing if not devoted to a plan.

Foods I ate today

Let's not be too judgy here and remember that I was in amidst trauma of the highest degree. That being, the trauma of the spontaneous and quite mysterious Zero Bank Balance in the aftermath of a careless day out at the shops, much like that of a bored housewife.

8.02 am - three weetbix with one cut up orange banana, black coffee. Yes it was orange, on the inside. I did feel as though I was eating space fruit, and it was not pleasant at all.

some water of some degree

10.30 - half a packet of lollies, one bottle of orange juice, half a tuna and salad subway due to THE LOWEST BLOOD SUGAR KNOWN TO MAN

11.54 - one white coffee

1.25 pm - four biscuits mum made with ice magic somehow worked into the biscuit part, one white coffee

half a bottle of water

5.30 - spinach and feta cannelloni at fasta psata with nanna, three quarters of a chocolate eclair 

three glasses of water

8.00 - a bit more of the eclair

I weigh

8.00 am Morning - 51.2

10.00 pm Evening - 52.1

So it's all very confusing and irrelevant, after a while

Exercise I have done today

None, unless you count the heavy lifting or racing here and there

Water consumed

half a bottle, three glasses, some of some degree

Amen

Can I call it Raymone?

Day 8 reeks of SUCCESS!
Success for me today: I felt the emotional turmoils of other people being weird and shit, I felt the 'hmmm I'm a bit bored and apathetic, that must mean veg out day with chips in bed with the tv' feelings of sludge. But did I act upon this? Nope!
I admit, I thought about getting an ice cream when I needed petrol. While lost in thought I drove straight past the petrol place, forcing myself to do a u-turn and drive to one on the opposite side of the road, and even then, I momentarily blanked on which side my petrol tank was so I had to drive around the whole line of pumps to get to the only free one on my side. It goes: 'ok I am at the petrol place phew! Ok, oh there's one left, oh it's the one I want...wait... WHY am I driving past it, WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET BACK THERE?!... ok must now circle the whole row of pumps like an idiot, yep, just smile and wave, or better yet, just concentrate on the ground where you're going and don't make eye contact with anyone... ah here we are, now you must drive to the drive-in section and quickly do a u-turn to turn around and pray to god no-one comes in... there, good... why are you like this??'
I admit, I thought about packing it all in while watching Supernatural, because, habit. It's what I've done for the past year. I watch tv and eat chips. Literally, every week. I FORGOT TO RUN, FUCK  ME JESUS.
But the point is, I thought about these junky things and I felt the irresistible pull, and I resisted. I find that the more I wait the craving out, the less I want it. It works at the supermarket when I'm on a 'junk food binge' and it worked today when I was driving to the next petrol station. Although, I was so tired from having to do that extra hoo-haa that all I wanted was to pee and get to the furniture shop asap.
Also, I've started doing a trick whenever I think about getting junky snacks. A little while ago I had this thought that went 'well, you can't buy the chips or chocolate, but you can eat something else, like yoghurt or exotic fruit'. And it worked. Exotic fruit is amazing. So I've decided to pick up some mangoes and strawberries and peaches, etc, and some yoghurt so I can just eat as much of that as I would a block of chocolate or a bag of chips.
Mentally, eating chips and chocolate don't do a thing. I think 'they'll make me feel better', and they do for a split second while eating them. But then afterwards I go back to feeling the same, so it doesn't make a lot of sense when I really think about it. I also thought 'well you've binged on chips and tv in the past and look where that got you... try this new thing'.

Ok! Let's get cracking!

Food I have eaten today
8 ish am - cold oats with yoghurt, blueberries and cinnamon, black coffee
10. 05 - white coffee
11.10 - one and a half peanut butter sandwiches
half a bottle of water
glass of lemon cordial
one orange juice fruit box because I was getting hungry
2.20 pm - white coffee
3.30 - one banana, bowl of watermelon pieces
5.30 - ^___^ ... four slices of barbeque chicken pizza with pineapple, mushroom, onions, and prawns (it was a small pizza, but SO DELICIOUS OMG)
Half a bottle of water while watching Supernatural
8.06 - a cup of peas and a few spoonfuls of yoghurt because I REALLY wanted chips
one cup of water

I weigh
8.00 am Morning - 50.7
8.09 pm Evening - 51.6

Exercise I did today
None. Not even running madly to each furniture shop  U_U

Waters I have consumed
One whole large gatorade bottle of water and one cup
Glass of lemon cordial
One orange juice fruit box

All in all a rather successful day! My housemate wanted to know if pizza counted as a healthy item, and I said it did because pizza is amazing as balls. I may not have chocolate, icecream, cake, or chips, but I can darn well have all the pizza money can buy with all the exotic topping man can think of.

Aims for tomorrow
I will be held accountable!
Tomorrow I'd like to
~ Clean my floor, do the dishes and vacuum
~ Write one short story
~ Start drawing one fairy
~ Lightly jog up the street
~ And maybe visit nanna

Well that's all for now chaps!
Cheerio!

Why would I ever choose fluorescent pink if not in a code situation?

Day 6 & 7 smelled like awkward pauses wrapped in lemon pie
Hello and welcome to another day of 'the food I eat'.
Today I did exercise! Woohoo!
But down to business...

Food I consumed yesterday
(Let's see if I can remember, because most of my life is a bunch of 'WINGIN IT!!!!!!' with no recordings, recollection of journey, or any prior planning whatsoever).
5.16 am - cold oats with blueberries, cinnamon and plain yoghurt, black coffee
5.55 - white coffee, strong as fuck, instant relief
7.00 ish - one brown toast with marmalade because it was there, one water
9.05 - white coffee, avocado and cucumber sandwich and probably two cups of broccoli and potato soup. I was SO FULL that I was afraid of bursting in front of sensitive people.
sips of water
1.00 pm - curry potato and carrot with all the spices one can think of, including tumeric, cumin, salt, pepper, green chillies, etc, etc, with something like naan bread but flat, given by a really nice woman at work who cooks from her culture. Very spicy, but so nice. This is where the awkward pauses and accidentally talking over each other came into it.
One glass of milk because of the spicy
sips of water
3.30 ish - white coffee
4.00 - one cup of watermelon with plain yoghurt because I really really wanted something sweet
5/6 pm sometime - two toasts with vegemite, 1 kiwi fruit, handful of cashews and almonds because I was starving

I weigh
5.05 am Morning - 51.4
6.00 pm Evening - 51.4
Hilarious! Divinely in time with my energetic field! What a downright hoot!
(...I'm not sure either)

Exercise I did yesterday
None.
^_^v

Waters consumed
One and a few sips throughout the day. I didn't even consume any of the orange juice! I find myself operating through a haze of 'oh well...' and I think I need to actually stop what I'm doing and focus on drinking the whole glass of water. Not just take a sip and rush off to vacuum or explain for the sixth time that we are ON the ground floor of the building.


Food I consumed today
5.14 am - usual cold oats with blueberries and yoghurt, no cinnamon
5.50 ish - white coffee. I am becoming reliant on these in the morning and I feel as though this could be a bad thing (Coffee? Bad? Never!)
7.20 ish - one brown toast with vegemite, because I'd made three extra by accident and thought I'd save myself the ravenously hungry feeling I usually get on that shift when working at full-speed from 6-10 am with no break.
half glass of water
10.10 - cucumber and avocado sandwich, white coffee. By 12.30 I was literally starving af
12.30 pm - one bowl of lemon delicious cake with cream (and it was MIND-BLOWINGLY ORGASMIC)
Sips of water
2.30 - white coffee that tasted like the god of coffee himself
5.50 ish - two toasts with butter and avocado, a cup full of watermelon pieces, one banana
one cup of water
6.00 ish - an orange juice fruit box
sips of water

I weigh
Morning - forgot
8.28 pm Evening - 50.9 ! @__@ Whaaaa?
So I spent a great deal of time laughing inwardly about how my weight tally will be the same throughout the entire week, but it's literally changed every day so far! Cripes!

Exercise I did today
Well! Today I dragged myself away from the computer and comfortable bed, slipped the hoodie of my jacket over my freezing head, and walked up the street at a fast 'one-two, one-two, one-two' power-walk. Apparently I stomped 1.0 km and back. I must say, I didn't feel anything while walking up to the shops- except admiration at how pretty the houses are and the odd glance at the rubbished council strips with disdain- but on the way back I began to really thinking about things, sort of mulling issues over in my head, which I don't normally do. Every time I found myself looking down at the pavement I lifted my head again and tried hard to focus on the things around me. I noticed a little branch stump balancing on an electrical line with what looked like magic, I glimpsed gnome and fairy statues on front porches, fairy rock gardens surrounded by flowers, and interestingly designed letter boxes. Tomorrow I plan to jog a little bit of the way.

Waters consumed
one and a half cups of water, some sips throughout the day

And as my eyes are drooping in that heavy, head-lolling-onto-chest kind of way, I will take my leave and prepare myself for a productive day tomorrow!
Ciao!
💗

Why did they paint it green?

Day 5 had absolutely no ice cream in it
Oh my GOD, I've forgotten to exercise AGAIN. I must set reminders for myself.

Yes, I did fantasise about ice cream a lot throughout today. Most likely a sign of being thirsty, but I did not purchase any  >^_^>.
Alright!
Weekly stats coming your way!

Firstly...

Foods I have eaten today
6.30 am - cold oats with cinnamon, plain yoghurt, and blueberries, 2 black coffees on account of having a traumatic monstrous spider incident and getting no sleep.
7.55 - one white coffee. See above
8.45 - half glass chocolate milkshake, one glass water due to feeling off
9.30 - one glass orange juice due to low blood sugar.
10.30 - one toast with butter, broccoli and potato soup, glass water
11.55 - one tiny fingernail square of roast turkey, four tiny pea-sized roast potatoes and pumpkin
12.50 pm - one white coffee due to extreme exhaustion and overload of work to still do
2.30 - the last 6 squares of freddo chocolate, white coffee super strong
DID NOT NAP. F YES.
5.12 - rest of sushi from yesterday: four squares. Delish. And ALSO. The little tiny piece of cake Peter gave me.
7.17 - one little orange juice juice-box
8.23 - leftover roast potato, peas, and carrots from three days ago.

I weigh
52.4
Well, well, well. What is THIS load of numerical disrespect? I'm actually really enthralled because I never weigh myself, literally ever, except in early June before my surgery (when I was 47.2) and last year when I was messing around at Peters house, so this is new! And encouraged! Welcome, added flab. How are you? How are you finding my body? Is it comfortable? Can I do anything to be more accommodating? Offer snacks, perhaps?
HA!
You've come to the wrong human, little fat blobs! Prepare to be obliviated by my hardworking exercise and healthy eating ways! (Starting tomorrow)
--__@
Man I miss Harry Potter. Those books were 100% amazing gold. Couldn't have visited a better world. I kid you not, I must have read those books FOURTEEN TIMES EACH, but the first three the most because that's where all the carefree magic was.
Anyway, back to my expanding weight! I'm growing! Woohoo!
The first time I weighed myself- back three days ago (eeek)- was in the evening because that was when I wrote the first post. So I'd like to weigh myself tomorrow morning at the early hour of 5am, then tomorrow night, and do a running twice-daily check for one week because I'm darn interested to know my base weight. I know that weighing yourself at night is a no-no because of the extra weight from food and water, but oh well. I also know a lot of variables can mess with the numbers. Stay tuned for that bit of excitement!

Exercise I have done today
None. I did not even work hard or fast. I was slow, I was tired, I was almost at breaking point and there was one time in the kitchen where I hissed fuck in a genuinely terrifying way when people could not get their act together. I stormed, I glared tight-lipped, and I gave off an air of carrying an invisible person around, which would have been accepted had it been a little Persacom who happily took direct orders.

Water I have consumed today
Two waters, two cups orange juice

Food I have purchased this week
GROCERY
3/11/17 Friday
Rolled oats  1.20
Vaalia vanilla yoghurt  6.49
Miracle spread butter  1.79
Bananas 4  2.48
Cucumber  0.99
Blueberries  3.99
TOTAL                  16.94

5/11/17 Sunday
Avocado  2.49
Watermelon seedless  0.91
Orange juice boxes 6pk  2.00
TOTAL                                      5.40

EXTRAS
2 classic beef sliders from Grill'd  12.00
1 Iced coffee with cream and iced cream..  5.90  (doesn't count because it's technically coffee!! >__<)
TOTAL                    17.90

ALL TOGETHER         
16.94 + 5.40 + 17.90 = 40.24


My biggest food weakness is emotional turmoil and a 'what the hey..' thought pattern when I think about life's atrocities and actually doing things. Life can suck ASS. Like it can really go dark and black and hellish, and it's taking me a long time to accept that about the world. It really truly is. I look around at people and want to yell so many things, like, are they aware? I often fantasise about gathering a fucking army and raiding every single house in Australia (for kidnapped people, prisoners, stolen goods, treasure), then moving overseas. Flush out the entire world. EXTERMINATE.
I watched a snippet of a film once where a lady had been kept in the trunk of a car for a few days, and then when I drove home I looked at all the parked cars and felt like tapping on each boot, just in case.
It's uncertainty. You never know. It's scary and makes me seek comfort in food.

ALRIGHTY THEN.

Basically, summed up: negative emotions like anxiety make me think 'fuck it' and indulge in the junk foods. Most of them time I am totally fine about life because I know I am not responsible and feel able to help if need arises. Sometimes, though, I stumble upon a horrible article or remember something gross, and I feel the sinking despair all over again.

Because there's no solution to the global crisis that I alone, as one human being, can do to solve it all, I will have to learn to hone my own smaller personal world so that I don't do the emotional eating when little issues arise, such as gigantic spiders or family drama. Like, 'any excuse will do, right?' ^_^.

Today I bought a pack of single serve orange juices to carry around for the next few days in case of low sugars. It's well known that orange juice picks up sugars fast, and I have noticed that my blood sugars seem to become unstable around my womanly time, probably from hormonal thingaroos, so I am Preparing It Up. Doing the Adult Life.
It's all happening here people! All of it! And maybe even some more than that.

I want to do this healthy thing. It goes: buy a batch of fruit, cut them up into a salad, then eat one serving a day. However, I only have fifty dollars to last me ALL this week and the next, until the second Thursday, and while I've got some money in my account, I'm trying not to spend it at all. Well, at all this week. I'd like to get to the pay week and have some money left over.


The food situation:
Food in my freezer:
   4x frozen meals
   1x soup
   1x ice cream container of soup
   1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
   1x slice of bacon
   2x pasta salads
   5x snack bags of frozen peas
   1x quarter of puff pastry
   2x fish

Food in my fridge:
   1x 3 quarters half carton of milk
   1x half dozen eggs
   1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
   1x quarter of apple cider vinegar
   1x little piece of cake peterbae gave me 💕💕 PETERBAE IS THE BEST OMG ALL THE SQUISH, but that I will give to my parents tomorrow. The chocolate, not Peter  Well look how that turned out.

Food in pantry:
   1x three quarters of jar of peanutshitbutter
   1x whole bag unopened of brown rice YES IT'S STILL THERE
   1x bottle half of olive oil
   1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
   1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
   1x  half a jar of forest berry jam
   2x cloves of garlic
   And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
   1x half pkt of weetbix
   1x quarter of Robert Timms coffee
   1x half a vial of ground cinnamon
   1x half vegemite jar
   1x three quarters beef stock powder gluten free
   1x jar of pickled veg that I will not eat nor know what to do with as it was a present from my mum and no one else wants it
   1x half jar or crystalised honey
   1x half a freddo frog chocolate block that I will give to my parents tomorrow
   1x pure green tea box
   1x ginger and apple tea box
   1x English Breakfast tea box

Food in basket:
   2x onions that have been there for about two weeks months
   1x orange

From the parentals:
   1x container of leftover roast
   5x 4x containers of one-serve soup
   4x containers of one-serve cake and custard. Woohoo! But also, does it count as junk if I didn't buy it??
   3x mammoth slices of zucchini slice


Food tally for the five days
BREAKFASTS
~ 2 hard boiled eggs
~ 2 peanut butter toasts
~ Zucchini slice
~ Zucchini slice
~ Oats with cinnamon, yoghurt and blueberries

LUNCHES
~ 2 peanut butter toast
~ Toasted butter sandwich, green chicken curry
~ Slider burgers
~ Toasted butter sandwich
~ Slice of toast, broccoli and potato soup

DINNERS
~ Hamburger with the lot
~ Roast beef dinner with potatoes, carrots and peas
~ Cucumber sandwich
~ ginormous amounts of Sushi before a nap/ or none
~ Roast potato, carrot and peas

SNACKS
~ Cashews
~ Yoghurt
~ A carrot
~ Jatz crackers
~ Tuna salad
~ oats and yoghurt
~ brown toast with marmalade

SWEETS
~ allens lollies party mix
~ freddo frog chocolate
~ peanut m&ms
~ the sexiest panna cotta ever
~ Iced coffee (sigh) ((For those who don't know... I LOVE Iced Coffees. It's everything in one: hardass cold coffee to hit you awake, creamy icecream to give the coffee a gradual sweet taste, and whipped cream for the pleasure unknown to man that can only be delivered in whipped cream form. Fuck YES)).
~ Anzac cookie
~ Sugar cookie (gf, like a meringue)
~ Caramel popcorn
~ Mango smoothie (it sounds nice and tasted even better, but it's probably loaded with ice cream and sugary yoghurt etc)
~ chocolate milkshake
~ little chocolate cake


Well! Now that I've properly warmed up for this healthy challenge... let the games begin!
^__^v

Did Thor REALLY mind that his hair was cut?

Day 3 & 4 had the peanut chocolate feel

Ok,

So I just remembered that I have half a block of freddo frog chocolate in the cupboard, so here's hoping don't run to the kitchen in my sleep and down it all in one.

Yesterday I ate the foods in this chaotic, slightly vague order:

What did I do yesterday?

Oh yes...

Foods I have eaten today (but yesterday like)

6.30 ish - zucchini slice and black coffee

one glass of water

10.30 - bowl of oats with cold water, cinnamon and plain yoghurt. HEAVENLY BLISS I'm telling you.

One glass of water

12.30 - one iced coffee whilst out doing some random shopping 

1.10 pm - two classic slider burgers, and they were DELICIOUS fuck.

300 mls of water (half a bottle)

3.05 - an apple and black currant juice with one anzac cookie and one sugar cookie from my house cleaning lady. I literally cannot refuse any food she gives me, she is one amazing woman.

5.20 ish - the last halloween bag of candy. T__T I was reading the end of my novel and it was that annoying echoey sad mixed with a lame wrappinng up of events, where not only did the MUM sleep with her DAUGHTERS new boyfriend- before him and the daughter got together- I realised that the father had also slept with the woman that his son had ended up getting with. Now, I enjoy a good story in the sense of art, but that situation really disgusted me to the core. Both parents met people, slept with them, and the mother really enjoyed it and wanted it to continue, but it didn't because the fella got interested in the girl, and then the people sort of 'swapped on' from the parents to the children. These were all adult children, by the way, but the novel was from the woman's perspective, and while it was all hilarious and British and indulged in the use of swear words and meaningless conversations, the novel itself wasn't that descriptive so sometimes I had to work out who was talking by reading ahead and going backwards, which is annoying, time consuming, and takes the reader out of the book.

SO.

I WAS REPELLED BY SOMETHING I HAD SO RECENTLY BEEN LOVING.

Enter, the sweet comfort of chocolate peanuts, lollies, and freddo frogs. Livin the dream.

6.15 ish - cucumber sandwich on wholemeal bread, white coffee. I took this white coffee in a travel mug to the cinema

7.30 ish - one piece of caramel popcorn.

10.30 ish - one mango smoothie from San Churro. If you ever want the mango-iest, pulpiest, creamiest yet light-as-air-iest slurp of heaven, just order a Mango smoothie from the San Churro and prepare for exploding bliss.

Exercise I have done:

None, although I did park far away from the shopping center at lunch so I had to power walk to it and then in there because I list track of time while buying the amazingly god-of-sex burgers.

Water I have consumed

4

Foods I have eaten today (of the day four variety)

5 am - zucchini slice and black coffee

6 am - white coffee

one glass of water

7.45 - piece of brown toast with marmalade

10.15 - white coffee, toasted butter sandwich

sip of water

12.30 - I TRIED TO RESIST. JUST REMEMBER THAT. One bowl of bread and butter pudding with cream. I have a MASSIVE weak spot for bread and butter pudding. I just love it. It brings me Joy, and Marie Kondo swears that you must keep anything which sparks the Joy.

2.00 pm - half a cup of water

3.05 - ALL THE SUSHI MONEY CAN BUY. Love. In my case, that was 19 dollars worth of mostly chicken, salmon, and beef in barbeque, soy, or creamy sauce.

Sips of water from amazing unicorn travel mug.

11.10 pm - one mug of hot apple and ginger tea, due to falling asleep around 5 pm and waking up at 10.40 pm. 

Exercise I have done:

None, but once again I parked really far from the shopping center (although out of laziness and air-headedness rather than an actual intent to exercise) and then I almost ran to the sushi place because my friend arrived while I was looking through a shop. Also, I like to think that I exercise at my work, but today I was so tired from something or another- quite the mystery it is- therefore I operated more like a sloth on weed.

Waters I have consumed

1 glass, a few sips, and some refills of my apple tea.

Woman. Get yo shit together. 

'So, was there anything special?'

Day 2 was a toasted cheese sandwich
It was, and I WAIT THAT IS A LIE OMG I AM SO TIRED, F.

...

Don't ever do banking whilst running on four hours of sleep.

Food I have eaten today
6.24 am - two peanut butter on wholemeal toasts and black coffee. Discard white bread as if it never existed, please. Turn away and slide on over to the grain/seed/wholemeal/or even better rye bread, and just do yourself a massive favour in life. Thanks.
9 am - three jatz biscuits because I was starving and maybe even having low blood sugars. I seem to get that low blood sugar feeling whenever I start work at 8am, and thus, eat breakfast at around six thirty or seven am.
10.20 - white coffee no sugar, toasted butter sandwich. There was supposed to be cheese but I had none so I went commando.
12.30 pm - green chicken thai curry with pumpkin, carrot, cauliflower and broccoli, courtesy of work. (Shh)
1.30 - white coffee
3.30 - white coffee, because I was bored between shifts and lethargically tired
4.26789 - HAD MY TUNA SALAD REALLY FAST BECAUSE I LOST TRACK OF TIME AND THEREFORE ONLY HAD SIX MOUTHFULS
6.30 - THE MOST FUCKIN PANNA COTTA EVER TO GRACE MY MOUTH. FUCK. IT WAS CREAMY. IT WAS MILKY. IT WAS SILKY AND NOT TOO SWEET BUT JUST RIGHT HOLY FUCKSHIT
~ So I don't regret eating that sweet thing. Actually I kind of do. But, like, I'm hoping the blase attitude will rub off on my emotional turmoil and create some magical inner tranquil farm of light and ocean and lotus and pearls on the feet, and some other such.
8.00 pm - roast beef dinner at the parents with carrots, peas, POTATOOOO GET IN ME and onion. They are pretty sweet, and I was so full from the exotic perfection of love, but I ate it anyway
10.59 om - like, real deal irked because I now have to take my Iron tablet and it says take with food, but I just feel as though taking it on a full tummy is as good as 'do not take on an empty tummy', especially from the motherload I have consumed today. Sorry, Peter, for blaming my love-handles on you >__<.

Food I have accumulated today
From the parentals:
   1x container of leftover roast
   5x containers of one-serve soup
   4x containers of one-serve cake and custard. Woohoo! But also, does it count as junk if I didn't buy it??
   3x mammoth slices of zucchini slice

Rules update
So, like, I really wanna eat that custard cake. I probably shouldn't wipe out junk altogether (although where is the fun, exciting, nail-biting challenge if I don't?!) because life can suck ass and I really want to wallow sometimes with a giant tub of ice cream and a deservingly well-lit pleasure centre. Well, not wallow. Maybe more laze about because, life situation.
I'm going to change my rules so I can eat sweet foods as long as I don't spend money on them.
And last night I woke up halfway through the night, took out the last Halloween snack bag from my bedroom drawer and literally Ate It In Bed, Then Went Back To Sleep.
What the fuck is that shit?
Like, what is that about?
Anyway.

Exercise I have done:
Fuck. I forgot to exercise. But to be fair I went straight to my parents after the double shift and got back to my house at about 9.30 and NO WAY am I running around the block in the dark.

Water I have consumed:
4
Let's be real here. Water and I aren't really on speaking terms.

I felt a bit nauseous in the car on the way home from the parents, so maybe I should calm down on the putting something in my stomach every two hours. I feel like all I've done today is walk around and eat.
Although,
Is that such a bad thing? Eating is SO GOOD. OH MY GOD.

Peace out.
3__3

Why must I always go forth?

Hello! And welcome to my Healthy Eating Challenge.
I'd love to know why this website has only seven font types, six of them that all look annoying similar and none of them cursive.
How are we supposed to let free our creative spirit?
Basically, by choosing this outrageous seventh font and using our wild imagination.
Cries in corner.
Ok! And onwards! To the present, where I can't remember which font I started in and even though I am fairly certain this is the one, I still stop at random words and squint in fearful uncertainty.
Thank you, Blogger.
Anyone else have trouble wording the sentences after a period of time away from blogging, or it just me?
Anyone else do the 'clearing throat mmmmmmhmmmmmmm' in a really long, loud, angry way and end up mentally apologising with a verbal 'God that was loud, Jesus' muttering?

Ok, let's wrap up this dramatic introduction because, Cerri, your weirdness is showing.

Rules for the Healthy Eating
So exciting! A good ol chum and I decided to participate in a whole month of healthy eating, that is to say: we both have different rules and goals but the consistences are the length and the health inducingness. We need more health and we want it now!
My rules:
~ DO NOT LEAVE HALF-FULL CUPS OF WATER AROUND YOUR ROOM. YOU WILL SPILL THEM. YOU WILL SPILL THEM EVERY TIME BECAUSE IT'S MURPHY'S LAW, AND YOU WILL USE EVERY SWEAR WORD UNDER THE SUN. JUST DRINK THE ENTIRE THING STRAIGHT UP, BURP, INCUR INDIGESTION AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR DAY.
~ Holy mother of god, my desk is making this taping sound every time I type as if a little earring is hitting it. I must go forth with music on.
~ I decided to vamp up my bedroom like the adult I am and this entailed moving my laptop from the comfyness of my bed to the studiousness of my desk, then moving my little tv from the back of the desk up onto a little tiny coffee table that sits on my desk (which could be the source of the tapping) in the process of creating a desk situation where I can be a HD accepting student/manage a side-hustle business making and selling jewellery/continuing and finishing my fantasy novel/creating a plan to build my very first house/paint garden gnomes in a state of blissful peace.
Now. Problems with this cheapass set up:
* The table and tv are making irritating noises to which I have to tune out with Cheerful and Upbeat Music - Happy Background Music - Uplifting and Fun Instrumental Music courtesy of the Youtube. And it DOES lift me up. I started tapping my foot and laughing at my irritation and the absurd xylophone tones.
* The desk is just a LITTLE too high for me to reach the keyboard comfortably. And I mean, this desk was custom made by my dad when I was about 14, so I (that tune is getting real annoying, too, as it does not change- oh there it goes! This music is SO FUNNY OMG, thank you sweet Jesus) assume he thought I'd grow into it. Well, I think we all thought that at some point in time, and look where it got us.
* I stole the little coffee table from hard rubbish and I assume it was not designed to sit on a desk and hold up a tv.
Actually that is the only qualm I have. This music is so calming. I can literally feel my annoyance fade away into a sort of 'problems with this charming and perfectly-set-up desk? Not one! It's a dream, honestly, a dream!"
Ok, so this guitar bit is not that great. Hang on a moment while I change songs.... Ahhhh, yes, the ukelele. Dreams do come true. Although this tune isn't giving me great vibes either. I feel sort of empty in the home. As if I was painting my house in the early afternoon, occasionally looking over to my big white and black dog lying in the sun while the bees and butterflies floated around him (all my future dogs will be boys, of course) and oh thank CHRIST the playschoolesque flashbacks have stopped, now to be replaced with a faster ukelele tune.
Hold on while I change again.
OHHH YEAHHHHHH BOI
Pure Clean Positive Energy Vibration, Meditation Music, Healing Music, Relax Mind, Body and Soul.
If that doesn't do it I don't know what will. Although, now the tapping has come back into my sphere.
Nope.
OK HOLD UP. CELLO MUSIC. ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING KNOWS THE CELLO BELONGS IN MY HEART AND SOUL. Fuck that does nothing to stop the tapping. Ok, back to happy and uplifting. Ooooh Jazz.
And up next: How Cerri fooled everyone into thinking she was doing a health challenge, but was really just testing music.
This Jazz is not Doing It for me.
Ok, here we go: Morning Music for Positive Energy, Light instrumental music for raising mood. Oh wow, it's got the flute! THE FLUTE! ANOTHER SOUL-SATISFYING WINNER. But also, the Organ?
Anyway, I'll stick with this one because while it doesn't entirely block out the tapping, it certainly entertains me with it's rapid change of instrument and volume. Even though the volume thing is annoying. I'm picturing early morning breakfast on a fancy white outdoor table, surrounded by rose bushes, feeling the crisp, chilly air of the early rising hour, checking the watch to see how long until all my elderly friends arrive, and hoping to GOD Charleyne doesn't bring her little sausage dog called Twinkle Toe.

ALRIGHT THEN!
Back to my challenge. Oh Lord now there's a horn like on Lord of the Rings. I CAN ONLY BE IN ONE FANTASY AT A TIME.

Healthy Rules
~ Ok, it got its sad violin on all up in my grill, so I changed it to Morning Motivation: energy, motivation, focus, Isochronic tones, and sculled two glasses of water to aid the beginnings of this headache.
~ Rule Number One. Fuck what? I have to exercise too??
Ok!

My Rules
~ No sugar, chocolates, chips, junk food, processed foods, takeaways such as Macdonalds or Pizza Hut etc, healthy takeout foods are ok such as sushi or burgers from a deli or healthy pizza.
~ Just like the no spend challenge I will record what I eat, when I eat, my motives, etc
~ I will weigh myself every week, which will be about as dull as watching grass grow because I can promise you my weight does not move at all.
~ Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
~ Pick and record an exercise. My exercise will be jogging around the block everyday - except today as it's almost 9pm and I haven't done a single energetic thing, amen.
~ Revel in my newfound gloriousness.

Aim of this challenge
To hopefully feel more energetic and curb snacking on crap.

Day 1
I turned off the music due to the increasing headache but I will find my peaceful, concentration-inducing, noise-cancelling, rock-out zen tune in no time.

Today I have eaten:
8 am - Breakfast 2 hard-boiled eggs and black coffee
glass of water
11 am - Snack 1 carrot
2 glasses of water
11.55 am - Yoghurt and white coffee no sugar
1.15 pm -  handful of cashews
3.06 pm - 2 peanut butter on toast, white coffee
5.54 pm - mini bag of lollies and chocolates that I made up for Halloween yesterday
7 pm - hamburger with the lot (egg, onion, bacon, sauce, lettuce) from a deli
7.40 pm - weak white coffee
two glasses of water

I weigh:
50.2 kilos

Exercise I have done:
None *Insert sly smirk here. (It's my first day off after five days on, four of them double shifts! I deserve to lie around in bed and read trashy but addictive novels)

Water I have consumed:
5

And to be real honest here, I feel quite nauseous. I think the burger was too big, or there were too many coffees consumed and not enough water, or the usual medication is just being a fuckwit. Oh! I could wear headphones! Yes I'll try that next time. As you can see, I consumed lollies. I fantasised about them all day because I just wanted to lie in bed with the curtains drawn, watch Supernatural while munching on chips, which is my usual downtime activity and it really does soothe the twisted, blackened, sliver of a piece of soul that I still currently have, what with selling some of it and losing some more god-knows-where. So when an unexpectedly sad situation occurred I thought 'Fuck it' and ate one of the snack Halloween bags, thinking 'I've got alllllllll of November to get this challenge on the straight and narrow'.  V__V

Note: I'm currently on Iron tablets for extreme iron deficiency from a health issue. Side effects of these that I am currently experiencing are: increased passing of the wind, green-black sloppy bowel motions, bloating, nausea and tummy upsets, tummy gurgling and queasiness, and occasional cramping/abdomen pain. Fun times! So sometimes I will be unsure if I am feeling off due to food or the meds and it will be outrageously spontaneous in all accounts.

The food situation:
Food in my freezer:
   4x frozen meals
   1x soup
   1x ice cream container of soup
   1x quarter packet of frozen vegetables
   1x slice of bacon
   2x pasta salads
   5x snack bags of frozen peas
   1x quarter of puff pastry
   2x fish

Food in my fridge:
   1x 3 quarters carton of milk
   1x half dozen eggs
   1x half a jar of jam I haven't touched for about two years
   1x quarter of apple cider vinegar
   1x little piece of cake peterbae gave me 💕💕 PETERBAE IS THE BEST OMG ALL THE SQUISH, but that I will give to my parents tomorrow. The chocolate, not Peter

Food in pantry:
   1x three quarters of jar of peanutshitbutter
   1x whole bag unopened of brown rice YES IT'S STILL THERE
   1x can of kippers (god knows what they are, but I guess I'll find out!) THESE WERE REALLY NICE ACTUALLY ^_^
   1x bottle half of olive oil
   1x can of gluten free pasta sauce
   1x gluten free pasta (my housemate is gf)
   1x  half a jar of forest berry jam
   2x cloves of garlic
   And, misc baking stuff such as: food colourings, sprinkles, gluten free flour, sugar, drinking chocolate, candy hearts etc.
   1x half pkt of weetbix
   1x quarter of Robert Timms coffee
   1x half a vial of ground cinnamon
   1x half vegemite jar
   1x three quarters beef stock powder gluten free
   1x jar of pickled veg that I will not eat nor know what to do with as it was a present from my mum and no one else wants it
   1x half jar or crystalised honey
   1x half a freddo frog chocolate block that I will give to my parents tomorrow
   1x pure green tea box
   1x ginger and apple tea box
   1x English Breakfast tea box

Food in basket:
   2x onions that have been there for about two weeks months
   1x orange

There was a time when I substituted cold hard coffee for the light airy english breakfast tea in hopes to aid my tummy upsets. The Girl has left work probably because she has completed her thingamajig and I find myself sort of in a phase of 'what could have been but most likely would not have been, oh if only people opened up and weren't afraid to chat'. I ate the Kippers and they were smelly edible creations that I am fond of yet not keen to constantly buy. 

October has sped by. All I think I did was work double shifts and read.

And forwards! Into tomorrow! Where I will do the double shift life, continue my desk up-grade, flush my system out with the garden of leafy green consumables, and enjoy downtime with The state of Grace by Catherine Donnelly. 

Tootleyhoooo!

--__^